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Learning From A Father’s Failures 1 Samuel 13-18

Learning From A Father’s Failures 1 Samuel 13-18. Happy Father’s Day! God’s Word has a lot to say about parenting. God himself is our Father – his character and actions provide a perfect model to follow. David’s heart was in tune with the heart of God

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Learning From A Father’s Failures 1 Samuel 13-18

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  1. Learning From A Father’s Failures1 Samuel 13-18 • Happy Father’s Day! • God’s Word has a lot to say about parenting. • God himself is our Father – his character and actions provide a perfect model to follow. • David’s heart was in tune with the heart of God • a spiritual heart – he sought to live a godly life • a submissive heart – he was a humble man • a sincere heart – he was a man of integrity

  2. 1. David Set a Poor Example • 2 Samuel 11:1–5 (NIV) - In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. …But David remained in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful…Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her.”

  3. David had an affair with another man’s wife, she became pregnant and then he had her husband killed in battle to try to cover it up. • David’s sons Amnon and Absalom were both in their late teens  just witnessed their father put pleasure and sexual desire above honor, integrity, and godliness. • Lesson: Our children gain knowledge from what we tell them to do • …but they DO what they see us doing.

  4. 2 Samuel 13:1 (NIV) - In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David… • Two years after David’s affair with Bathsheba his son Amnon rapes his half-sister, Tamar • David had set a bad example for his sons. • Parents, Dad’s – we need to guard ourselves  our children are watching us. • We are called to model godly character and set a positive example for them to follow.

  5. 2. David Didn’t Discipline When Needed • 2 Samuel 13:21 (NIV) When King David heard all this, he was furious. • David was angry at what happened between his son Amnon and daughter Tamar. • Anger at sin is a good thing but the sin still needs to be addressed. • David didn’t confront Amnon because he had set a bad example himself. • We fear our children will point out our own sinful behaviour.

  6. Confronting sin with our children: • the concern we have for the overall well being of our children should be more important than our concern about “damaging” our relationship with them. • Proverbs 3:11–12 (NIV) - My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

  7. the need to correct wayward behaviour is far more important than our desire as parents to feel needed by our kids. • if we ignore destructive behaviour it will just continue. • God wants us to deal with our children’s sinful behaviour and discipline them appropriately out of love so that they will learn how to live godly lives.

  8. 3. David Failed to Acknowledge The Problem • Denial is one of the worst things parents can do when confronted with a problem. • 2 Samuel 13:23 (NIV) Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there. • Two years go by and David still has not addressed the conflict between his sons • David also doesn’t address the problem of Absalom killing his brother.

  9. Absalom’s rebellious spirit is being fed by his father’s denial and failure to address the problems in their relationship. • 2 Samuel 14:33 (NIV) Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom. • When we deny that there is a real problem and don’t deal with destructive behaviours the problems continue to grow. • Absalom begins a rebellion against his father to take the throne.

  10. 4. David Demonstrates Unconditional Love • Something positive we can learn from David’s family life is that he loved his family unconditionally. • 2 Samuel 18:33 (NIV) The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!” • Sometimes unconditional love is the only response parents can give their wayward children.

  11. David failed in many ways as a father. • If we’ve messed up  be honest with our kids and let them know we are human and need forgiveness too. • When bad behaviour happens  deal with it in a timely manner and discipline appropriately • When problems arise with our kids – don’t deny them; face them head on • As we nurture our children – do it with unconditional love. • 1 John 3:1 (NIV) How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

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