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Writing Diseases

Writing Diseases. The Symptoms & the Cure. Is this you?. The following is a list of tragic & terrifying diseases that your paper may have. Tense ctasis ( ectasis = swelling, dilation) Switching tenses Literary papers are ALWAYS in the present tense. No- quotes anemia

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Writing Diseases

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  1. Writing Diseases The Symptoms & the Cure

  2. Is this you?

  3. The following is a list of tragic & terrifying diseases that your paper may have.

  4. Tensectasis( ectasis= swelling, dilation) Switching tenses Literary papers are ALWAYS in the present tense

  5. No-quotesanemia ( anemia=lacking vigor) A style analysis paper MUST have quotes. It’s your proof. “Remember to use quotation marks!”

  6. Reader-aisis( iasis= abnormal condition, presence of) DO NOT write about the reader. This is low register. And are you so omniscient that you presume to know what every reader thinks or feels when they read a book? Find a way to express what you’re saying without writing about the reader. Who wants to volunteer their sentence?

  7. Awkwarditis ( itis= inflammation) When you try to cover up what you don’t know use poor grammar or misuse vocabulary your sentences become weirdly convoluted, confusing, or overly wordy

  8. Grammaroids ( oids= resemble) Hey! Sentences need a verb, noun, adjective, prepositions. Sentences need a subject. When you’re a famous fiction writer you can write ungrammatically. Until then…

  9. Semicolonpathy( pathy= disease) Sorry ( not really) but you can’t HANDLE the semi colon. You use it incorrectly & because you really don’t know how to create a grammatically correct sentence. It creates sloppy writers. You are forbidden to use it.

  10. Vagueoma ( oma= tumor) Be specific. Vagueness does not convince me that you have • analyzed • understood • or even read • the literature.

  11. Convolutedosis( osis= abnormal condition) This, along with grammaroids and awkwarditis causes • ?

  12. Proofreadphasia( phasia= speech) • Read your paper OUT LOUD to yourself • You will find many grammar errors & awkward sentences • For in-class timed writes, I am less critical.

  13. Prepositionplegia ( plegia= paralysis) There are over 150 prepositions in the English language. USE THEM. “On” DOES NOT work for everything.

  14. aboutaboveacrossafteragainstaroundatbeforebehindbelowbeneathbesidebesidesbetweenbeyondbydownduringexceptforfromininsideintolikenearofoffaboutaboveacrossafteragainstaroundatbeforebehindbelowbeneathbesidebesidesbetweenbeyondbydownduringexceptforfromininsideintolikenearofoff • ofoffonoutoutsideoversincethroughthroughouttilltotowardunderuntilupuponwithwithoutaccording tobecause ofby way ofin addition toin front ofin place ofin regard toin spite ofinstead ofon account ofout of 

  15. Commaphobia (phobia= fear) Why do you fear the comma? It’s harmless.

  16. While there are many specific uses for commas, nearly 85%  of the commas used in written English are used in a mere 3 situations. • Know the basic rule for these 3 cases, you can use commas in over four-fifths of the times you need to use commas. • 1. Put a comma before a coordinating conjunction that separates two independent clauses. • 2. Put a comma after introductory words, phrases, or clauses in a sentence. • 3. Use commas to set off elements that interrupt or add information in a sentence.

  17. On-algia ( algia= pain) • There are other prepositions • On means on • Any volunteers for their on-heavy paper?

  18. Duh-rrhea ( rrhea= you know) Writing something obvious “The author uses diction to display tone and great imagery.” Duh- really? The writer uses words? Amazing!

  19. Closely related is Understatementalgia ( algia=pain) This reflects shallow analysis or understanding. Ex: “The war deeply affects soldiers.”

  20. Misplaced modifier-spasm (spasm= involuntary contraction) This along with grammaroids creates weird sentences. Be careful where you place modifiers in the sentence. EX: I saw a painting walking down the hall.

  21. This-shows-that- pathy ( pathy= disease) and For Example–rrhexis( rrhexis= rupture) are closely related . Using these words/phrases in your papers produces low register. Practice imbedding the diction/phrases in your analysis

  22. Other problems(will the list never end???) • I think…….I believe…. Write sentences in the 3rd person. • Using no-no words: sort of, basically, good , bad. • Do you have the no-no or dead word list? • Using low-register vocabulary

  23. Thesisabsentia • Where is your thesis? • Why didn’t you write one? • Thesis= subject + opinion + plan( because) • Vague thesis: • Ex: “This paragraph has diction that shows tone and characterization. • What kind of diction? • What are the tones? • Who is being characterized?

  24. There is a cure! • Thanks to your teacher who regularly diagnoses your Timed Writes you will be able to cure your paper of these tragic diseases. • Although some of these diseases CAN be cured quickly, others take some time. • Be patient. • Practice excellent writing hygiene

  25. There is a cure! • Figure out what you are trying to say and simply find /choose the best words to articulate your thinking. • Read the literature! It is impossible to write an intelligent paper if you only read Spark notes, read the novel too quickly, read while on Facebook , Twitter or Instagram, or didn't pay attention in class. • Make an appointment to review your paper with me. This will take 15 minutes or more. • Once you get rid of your paper’s terrible diseases, writing will become a………..

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