Evaluation of Essay

1. Evaluation of Essay Done by Ng Lihui, Darren Lum, Ng Peng and BoShun

2. Thesis Statement • Question: Based on the outcome of your online discussion as well as the ideas that you have gathered from a critical reading of the suggested articles, write a response of at least 350 words to the SRQ passage of your choice. • I agree fully with the writer’s disapproval towards John Kerry’s belief in stem cell research, but believe that science should not be limited to what the writer claims.

3. Argument 1 • I agree fully with the writer’s disapproval towards John Kerry’s belief in stem cell research, but believe that science should not be limited to what the writer claims. • The writer shows his disapproval towards John Kerry’s belief in stem cell research by claiming that science is not a political program and should not be used as one, as seen from the quote “It does not “promise” miracle cures based on scanty evidence. When scientists make such assertions, they are acting as individuals, out of their own personal faith and hopes, not as the voice of "science".” implying Kerry’s personal misinterpretation of science and “To make such exaggerated claims, at this stage of our knowledge, is not only scientifically irresponsible – it is deceptive and cruel to millions of patients and their families who hope desperately for cures and have come to rely on the scientific community for accurate information.”, implying Kerry’s use of science as a political tool.

4. Argument 1 (Continued) • I agree with this viewpoint fully. Science is a systemic study that requires interpreting and proving a hypothesis so as to unravel truths about our daily lives. Science cannot be interpreted as a baseless claim of personal faith, which is what John Kerry is accused of doing by the author, as this would defeat the purpose of science, and bring more harm than good if people were to accept these baseless claims. • Although I agree with the author on the purpose of science, I see it possible for science to be inculcated as a political program. I take reference to Germany, where the government has invested greatly on green technology. While it is unjust to use science as a political tool to win favor from the general public, we cannot completely rule out science from politics altogether.

5. Argument 2 • Also, the writer shows disapproval towards John Kerry's beliefs in stem cell research as humans have been misused in research. This argument is entirely based on the fact that "the human embryo is a developing form of human life that deserves respect", thus should be entitled to human rights as well.I agree entirely with the writer's views. The human embryo, regardless of how motionless it is, would experience pain that is similar to what humans face in the real world. The human embryo do not deserve to be subjected to pain for the purpose of research, even if that so called research is for the greater good, as they should be entitled to be free from pain, and the liberty to be free from pain. Putting the embryo into testing equates to abuse.

6. Argument 3 • Lastly, the writer shows his disapproval towards John Kerry’s belief in stem cell research by stating that embryonic stem cells are unsuitable and usable. He mentions that “there is scant scientific evidence that embryonic stem cells will form normal tissues in a culture dish” and are “prone to uncontrollable growth and tumor formation when placed in animals”, implying that these stem cells are dangerous, and “claims of a safe and reliable treatment for any disease in humans are premature at best.” Implies that there is little cure for such consequences. • I agree with this viewpoint to a large extent. We do not understand much of these embryonic stem cells, and there is still much ambiguity and danger in using them. I refer to a case study in Israel in 2001, where a boy was injected embryonic stem cells into his brain for hopes of curing his childhood disease. Four years later he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which grew out of these injected cells. As such, the writer’s argument is valid. • However, I would like to point out that even though there is not much success in these areas of research, it should not signal the end of such research, but rather should provide an opening for the pursuit of a solution. If science can raise questions, it should be able to provide a solution as well.

7. Positive Points • SRQ follows a structure and is organized • Writer brought up a good point in his last paragraph “I would like to point out that even though there is not much success in these areas of research, it should not signal the end of such research, but rather should provide an opening for the pursuit of a solution. If science can raise questions, it should be able to provide a solution as well.” • Shows understanding outside the context of the essay • Real life examples are provided • Case study in Israel in 2001

8. Negative Points • Assumptions are made regarding the abuse of embryo • Presumes that embryo feels pain • Failed to provide justification of author’s argument for the 2nd point • Conclusion is too brief