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Friendship, Love, and Intimacy. Intimacy. Closeness between two individuals Not the same thing as being intimate. Is an emotional state, rather than a physical one. Four Key Features of Intimacy Hook (2003). Love and/or affection Personal validation Trust Self-disclosure
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Intimacy • Closeness between two individuals • Not the same thing as being intimate. • Is an emotional state, rather than a physical one
Four Key Features of IntimacyHook (2003) • Love and/or affection • Personal validation • Trust • Self-disclosure • How do we Express intimacy?
Friendship • What is friendship? • What qualities do you look for in a friend? • Describe how intimacy, friendship, and love are related.
What is LOVE? • How do you define love? • Where/When/How have you experienced it? • Binds us together • A feeling and an activity
Love vs. Infatuation Love Pride and Prejudice Infatuation The Notebook • Trust • Caring • Honesty • Friendship • Respect • Concern for other’s well-being • Loyalty • Commitment • Acceptance of the other • Supportive • Wanting to be with other • Interest in the other • Develops rather rapidly • Based on limited characteristics • Based on the emotion itself • Is self-centered • Is multi-person centered • Changes rapidly • Loses touch with reality • Largely outward or physical • Insecure/Insecurities • Jealous/Possessiveness • http://www.buzzle.com/articles/love-versus-infatuation-how-to-determine-whether-you-love-him-idea.html
The Top 10 Love Myths • 1. Love conquers all. • 2. If it is true love, you'll know it the instant you meet that person. • 3. There is only one true love in the world for you. • 4. Your soul mate will fulfill you in every way. • 5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry, it must be love. • 6. A fun date, makes a great marriage partner. • 7. A couple must be a mirror image of each other for a relationship to work. • 8. Love means never having to say you're sorry. • 9. Love is a bed of roses. • 10. True love feels good always. • Linda Lovejoy, MA, LMHC, Masters in Counseling, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Teleclass Leader, Columnist, Life and Relationship Coach
Lee’s six styles of love Primary styles Secondary styles • Eros • (romantic/passionate) • Ludus • (playful/game-playing) • Storge • (companionate/friendship) • Mania • (l+e= obsessive; love-hate) • Agape • (e+s= altruistic) • Pragma • (s+l= practical/pragmatic)
Unrequited Love • The Cyrano Style • The Giselle Style • The Don Quixote Style
Stalking • Multiple Definitions • US Bureau of Justice Statistics • About half (46%) of stalking victims experienced at least one unwanted contact per week, and 11% of victims said they had been stalked for 5 years or more. • Approximately 1 in 4 stalking victims reported some form of cyberstalking such as e-mail (83%) or instant messaging (35%). • Women were at greater risk than men for stalking victimization; however, women and men were equally likely to experience harassment. http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/svus.htm
The 2000 National College Women Sexual Victimization Survey found the following results: • 13% of the college women had been stalked since the school year began • 80.3% of victims knew or had seen their stalker before • 42.4% of stalkers were ex-boyfriends of the victim. • In 15.3% of incidents, the victim reported that the stalker either threatened or attempted to harm them. • Overall, 83.1% of stalking incidents were NOT reported to police or campus law enforcement. • 93.4% of victims confided in someone, most often a friend, that they were being stalked. http://www.umich.edu/~sapac/info/stats-stalking.html
Types of Stalking • Erotomania • Simple obsessional stalking • Love-obsessional stalking