Sexual Health for You(th)

1. Sexual Health for You(th) From Toronto Public Health, Betty Wu-Lawrence, BscN., MEd., RN., 2012 1

2. Guidelinesfor discussion • All ideas are welcome • Discussions are confidential • No names or personal identifiable info • Constructive/supportive feedback • Call timeout whenever needed adopted from “Facilitation at a Glance” 2

3. What would you like to know ? 3

4. Agenda • Introduction • Relevant issues • Types of STIs • Questions • Feedback 4

5. “Sex is perhaps the only area of human life where some believe ignorance is preferable to knowledge” Planned Parenthood 性’ 大概是人们生活中最敏感的一个话题，大部分人持以‘无知’态度对待。

6. What Is A Youth? • What is a youth? Impetuous fire. What is a maid? Ice and desire. The world wags on. A rose will bloom It then will fade So does a youth. So do-o-o-oes the fairest maid. Comes a time when one sweet smile Has its season for a while...Then love's in love with me. Some they think only to marry, Others will tease and tarry, Mine is the very best parry. Cupid he rules us all …. Lyric from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

7. Then love's in love with me… • Some they think only to marry, • Others will tease and tarry …. • What do you(th) choose?

8. Sexual Development of Children Ages Nine to Ten • Seek out same-sex peer groups; often tease and chase the opposite sex • Show signs of puberty • Tune in to external influences; may have fantasies and crushes

9. Stages of AdolescenceEarly Adolescence 12 – 14 • Physically: most teens have started the changes of puberty, some may not. • Psychologically: Self-centred, • Difficulty with long range planning or understanding long term consequences of their decisions and behaviour • See things as black or white (no grey )  • “I want, I need, I have to have…”

10. Relationship with Family and Adults • At this age, teens are still closely tied to their parents, but feel the need to pull away. • Adults are seen as all good or all bad. • Teens feel adults are always watching them: they are “on stage”. • They need love and acceptance for their feelings of self-worth..

11. Relationship with Peer Group • tend to hang around in groups. • strong need to belong to these groups: acceptance is important; rejection is scary. • Girls often form cliques. Groups can be cruel to outsiders. • Boys don’t talk so much with their friends about relationships. • turn to their friends for advice rather than their parents. • Constantly compare themselves to other teens.

12. Sexuality Issues • Wonder if they are “normal” if their friends’ bodies changing in the same way. • Have mood swings. They daydream and may have romantic or sexual fantasies. • Self-pleasuring (masturbation) is common for both males and females. • They may wonder if they are gay or straight.

13. Middle Adolescence (14 – 17) •  Can see things more easily from other points of view • Can better understand the consequences of their actions • Live for the moment: constantly changing plans (Don’t know what they’re doing that evening, let alone next week.) • Risk-taking is part of separation from parents  • “I don’t need anybody. I can do everything myself.”

14. (Middle Adolescence cont’d.) Peer Group • Peers still very important in their social life • Mixed sex groups are more common

15. Sexuality Issues • More comfortable in their new bodies. Spend time making themselves look good. • explore sexuality with others: kissing and touching is common; intercourse is less common. • feel they have “fallen in love”. Better at expressing their feelings towards others. • Many have figured out if they are gay or straight. • believe they are immortal, immune and infertile.

16. Late Adolescence (17 – 21) • Can learn from life experiences and understand them • Better able to handle adult responsibilities • See themselves as adult • “I want to love and be loved by another.”

17. (Late Adolescence cont’d.)Family and Adults • Their relationships with their families are becoming more adult. • They still need to feel loved in order to feel self-worth.

18. Peer Group • The influence of their friends becomes less important as they become more secure in their own values. • Their relationships become less exploitive. • Loving is deeper and focuses more on companionship. • Physical Development • is usually complete.

19. Sexuality Issues • May establish more permanent sexual relationships • have a mature body, a clearer self-image, the role as man or woman, heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual • Social pressures may confuse sexual behaviour, still need to learn about sex • may be confused about what they want, and what others want from them. • may not practise safer sex consistently.

20. How Parents can help: • Nurture interactions for positive feelings • Welcome children’s questions and share feelings • Talk about appropriate behaviours without guilt or shame • Teach: • One’s behaviours can affect others • Setting limits and providing guidance • Be a positive role model

21. The 4 point plan for problem-solving解决问题四要点AFAV • Affirmation自信 • Facts真相 • Accountability责任 • Value 道德 21

22. Tips For Communicating With Teens About Sexuality • Accept the task of sex educator. • Most young people trust information about sex and sexuality from parents. • Become knowledgeable about sex and sexuality. • There are books and other resources to help you. • Accept that it may be awkward and embarrassing to talk to your child about sex – and then do it anyway. • If you can tell your child that you are embarrassed, your child will see you’re human and be more accepting of the message.

23. Tips • Along with facts, talk about feelings, relationships, and how the other person is affected. • This will help children become more caring and less likely to experience regret. • Acknowledge if you are starting late or if you change your views on something. • Children are forgiving. They will appreciate your willingness to admit a mistake and they will learn a valuable lesson for when they make mistakes.

24. Tips • Be sure there are resources in your home where your children can get accurate information. • If children have access to age appropriate books, they will read them even if they won’t talk to you. There are some good videos and web-sites too. But beware! Some may not be suitable. • When your child asks you a question, answer it directly and honestly, and without judgement. • If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so, and tell them you’ll find out and get back to them. Then do it. • Take advantage of those moments that arise when you can share your views. • You can do this when watching television or reading the newspaper.

25. Tips • Try not to not talk down to your child. • This may be tough, but we can at least listen and show respect for their viewpoints. For example saying, “you’re stupid” is not respectful. • Communicate your values honestly – and expect them to be challenged. • Teenagers want to be independent and have their own identities. We want that too • but we must continue to say what we believe and to model it in our own lives.

26. Tips • Don’t compromise your values. • You have every right to maintain your values. If you object to your child’s having sex you still set the rules. But keep the communication open. • Recognize you can’t control all your teen’s actions. • Anger and threats don’t work. They only make teens secretive and create conflicts. • Instead, we can promote their taking responsibility for their actions.

27. Tips • Recognize that you may not understand what your teen is going through. • The world is different now. Remember how strong peer pressure can be. Talk with • other parents, teens and teachers. • Express your appreciation of how tough it is to be a teen. • They need to hear about the good they do. Give them a hug and spend time together. • Try not to deliver ultimatums. • We need to maintain flexibility and assure our children that we may not approve of • their actions but we will love them and never abandon them.

28. Tips • Recognize that you may not understand what your teen is going through. • The world is different now. Remember how strong peer pressure can be. Talk with other parents, teens and teachers. • Express your appreciation of how tough it is to be a teen. • They need to hear about the good they do. Give them a hug and spend time together. • Try not to deliver ultimatums. • We need to maintain flexibility and assure our children that we may not approve of their actions but we will love them and never abandon them.

29. Tips • Recognize that teenagers are tough on relationships – and take good care of yours if you are in one. • Talk with your partner and reach an agreement about how to handle difficult situations. • Help your teenager have goals and a life plan. • Parents can do this by spending time with their teen, offering varied experiences, and helping them establish short and long term goals. • Remember that this won’t last forever! • Teenagers do grow and maturity comes. • Warren, Andrea; Wiedenkeller, Jade; (1999), “Everybody’s Doing It”

30. Review Key Concepts • We are all sexual beings from birth to death • Sex is a fundamental part of our human existence • We have a right to know about sexuality and talk about appropriate behaviours without guilt or shame • Parents are the primary sexuality educators of their offsprings

31. When you love, • You begin with A B C…

32. A • Accountable • Abstinence

33. What are some reasons that a youth might become sexually active? • Think it’s the main way to show love • Peer pressure • curious • desire sex (horny) • feel ready • others -

34. What are some reasons that a teen might decide to WAIT to become sexually active? • - not ready yet • - religion/cultural/family traditions • - fear • - busy with other commitments (school, sports, etc) • - waiting for the right person • - waiting for marriage/commitment

35. B • Barriers to unhealthy factors: • Germs • Oppression e.g. abuse • etc…

36. C • Contraceptions, or • Consider Parenthood?

37. Fun & Responsibilities • Being sexually active, • one needs to remember that there are consequences and responsibilities! • What are they?

38. 2 main responsibilities: • protecting yourself/your partner against diseases • Respecting yourself/your partner about planned parenthood

39. PREGNANCY • Why would some teens desire to be pregnant/have a baby? • Could be many reasons related to “circumstances”, or: - attention - think babies are fun/cute - think their partner will not leave them if they have a baby - don’t think babysitting is difficult, therefore they are ready for parenting - think that the baby will give them unconditional love

40. CLINIC How old do you have to be to come to the clinic? - any age describe what we do there Do you need your parent’s permission to come? -no, visits to the clinic are private and confidential Public Health Clinics

41. Healthy Sex does not include STI

42. Male Body Parts 42

43. Female body Part 43

44. Types: • Viral • Bacterial • Others/Infestations All have treatment; but some have NO cure 44

45. Bacteria Single celled organism, some of which can cause disease 45

46. Virus An organism capable of reproducing itself only inside living cells. 46

47. STI caused by: 47

48. Treatment: • Viral: 4Hs – Treatment available to decrease the symptoms and pain; but there is NO cure • Bacterial: Usually pills; maybe injection. There is complete recovery; make sure partner(s) is also treated. Avoid re-infection. • Infestations: Treatment usually by over the counter treatment; prescription maybe necessary if no improvement. 48

49. Complications - Female:(If not treated) • Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) • Ectopic/Tubal Pregnancy • Infertility 49

50. Complications - Male:(If not treated) • Infertility • Impotence 50