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Raising Teens in the 21 st Century

Raising Teens in the 21 st Century. James G. Wellborn, Ph.D . Texting, Sexting & Cell phones. James G. Wellborn, Ph.D . The Perfect Storm. Internet Technology Sex Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and . . .) High school romance “Anonymity”.

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Raising Teens in the 21 st Century

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  1. Raising Teens in the 21st Century James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

  2. Texting, Sexting & Cell phones James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.

  3. The Perfect Storm • Internet • Technology • Sex • Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and . . .) • High school romance • “Anonymity” www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  4. Sexting Stats • Frequency • 4% sent images (Girls=65%) • 15% received images from Pew • Why teens sext: • Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response) • Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls • Responding back = 44% • A joke = 40% • Feel sexy = 34% girls • Pressured = 12% girls www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  5. Texting Info • Kids who text 120+ times a day: • 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex • More likely to have been in a physical fight • More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs • Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and spiritual goals • Greater importance of wealth and image • Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range of social outgroups. www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  6. What’s a parent to do? www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  7. Texting, Sexting& Cell Phones • Educate yourself • Have the talk. • Set ground rules • Make them earn it • Computers in common areas • Webcams • Monitor devices and accounts monthly • Test their readiness • Warning signs. • Consequences www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  8. Internet • Have the talk • Don’t exaggerate the dangers • Teach about privacy and personal information • Emphasize trust and good judgment • Complete transparency • Permanent record • Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment • Sexual Communication and the law www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  9. Texting, sexting& Cell phones • Set the ground rules • Parents have all passwords • Personal information • Acceptable words and information • No sexting or chat rooms visits • All apps must be preapproved • Pictures (and tagging) • Private vs Public information • Friends vs friends • Online bullying/harassment • Language • Sending or receiving aggressive messages www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  10. Texting, Sexting& Cell Phones • Educate yourself • Have the talk • Set the ground rules • Make them earn it. • Computers in common areas • Webcams • Monitor devices and accounts monthly. • Test their readiness • Warning signs. • Consequences www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  11. Electronic media Readiness Test • Novice • 6 months of appropriate internet use • Knows internet and social network account rules • Texts responsibly • Remains trustworthy • Owns up to violations and mistakes www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  12. Electronic media Readiness Test • Expert • 6 months as Novice • Resists social pressure • Assertive • Self-control • Media savvy • Talks to you about problems (optional) • After 17 years old, give up www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  13. Texting, Sexting& Cell Phones • Educate yourself • Have the talk • Set the ground rules • Make them earn it • Computers in common areas • Webcams • Monitor devices and accounts monthly. • Warning signs. • Consequences www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  14. Texting, sexting& Cell phones • Monitor devices & accounts monthly • Review pictures • Check for rogue apps • Review texts www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  15. Warning signs • Use computer parents don’t check • Close/minimize browser when parents are around • Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior • Privacy settings to limit access • Lie/omit details of online activity • Hide/delete instant messages/texts • Use private browsing modes • Clears browser history • Apps that hide apps • Ghost email and social networking profiles • adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012 www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  16. Social MediaConsequences • First violation • 1 month probation • Supervised electronic media use • Daily talks for 7 straight days • Return to previous level if successful www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  17. Social MediaConsequences • First violation • If violation is • visiting chat rooms • sexting • ghost accounts • Shut down all forms of electronic communication. • Disable camera. www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  18. Social mediaGround Rules • Second violation • Lock them out of their accounts • Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months • Third violation in 12 months • Close their accounts permanently • Lock out internet use from home • Cancel phone texting and internet • Check for Ghost accounts • Consult www.DrJamesWellborn.com

  19. Resources • www.DrJamesWellborn.com • e.g., 5 part series on Sexting • There’s A Stranger In My House WWW.BrentwoodHomePage.com • Parenting Teens Newsletter • www.drjameswellborn.com/newsletter

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