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Chapter Four

Chapter Four. Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication. Historical Perspectives. Arrange Marriages Dowries Bundling Marriage for Love and Intimacy. Establishing Early Intimacy. Field of Eligibles Physical Attractiveness The “Beautiful is Better” Bias The Effect of Media

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Chapter Four

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  1. Chapter Four Love, Intimacy, and Sexual Communication

  2. Historical Perspectives Arrange Marriages • Dowries Bundling Marriage for Love and Intimacy

  3. Establishing Early Intimacy Field of Eligibles Physical Attractiveness • The “Beautiful is Better” Bias • The Effect of Media • The Matching Hypothesis Proximity • Proximity Effect • Mere Exposure Effect Similarity Flirting Reciprocity of Attraction

  4. John Lee’s Styles of Love The Six Styles • Eros Love • Ludus Love • Storge Love • Mania Love • Pragma Love • Agape Love Combining Love Styles

  5. John Lee’s Styles of Love (cont.)

  6. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love The Three Components • Intimacy • Passion • Commitment

  7. Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Possible Combinations of the Three Components • Liking (I) • Infatuation (P) • Empty Love (C) • Romantic Love (I & P) • Fatuous Love (P &C) • Companionate Love (I &C) • Consummate Love (I, P & C) Applying the Triangular Theory

  8. Communication In Love Relationships Self-Disclosure: How Much Should You Reveal About Yourself? Behavioral Attributions: Why Did You Do That? • Relationship-enhancing Attributions • Distress-maintaining Attributions Patterns of Effective Communication • Validating Communication • Volatile Communication • Conflict-avoiding Communication

  9. Communication In Love Relationships (cont.) Communication Warning Signs • Criticism • Contempt • Defensiveness • Stonewalling Improving Communication • Understanding Intimate Communication: Six “Simple Truths” • Enhancing Intimate Communication: Five “Rules”

  10. Sexual Communication Sexual Self-disclosure • Barriers • Lack of Information • Embarrassment • Insecurity About Using the Right Words • Sexual Taboos • Fear of Judgment • Fear of Rejection • Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication

  11. Losing Love: Ten Reasons Why Relationships Fail • Lack of Self-knowledge • Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes • Ineffective Communication • Imbalances of Decision-making Power • Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of Self-confidence • Isolation • Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating • Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional) • Control Issues • Violence

  12. Abusive and Violent Relationships Types of Relationship Abuse • Physical • Verbal • Emotional In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of Relationship Abuse • Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner • Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner

  13. Abusive and Violent Relationships (cont.)

  14. The Cycle of Violence and Abuse • The Honeymoon Phase and/or the Beginning of the Relationship • The Tension-building Phase • Explosion • Return to the Honeymoon Phase

  15. Getting Out and Moving On Leaving a Violent Relationship The Temptation to Go Back Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy, Nonabusive Relationship • What Qualities Do You Require? • What Characteristics Are Unacceptable? Loving Again

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