Recognizing and Responding to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) as a TBI Support Group Facilitator

1. Recognizing and Responding to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) as a TBI Support Group Facilitator

2. Outline of Slideshow • What is IPV? • How to recognize IPV • How to respond to IPV • Resources available

3. Stereotypes The term domestic violence implies that we are only talking about physical violence that occurs within the home and is generally carried out by men on their female partners.

4. Intimate Partner Violence and This Presentation are About… • Abuse that happens in dating relationships • Abuse that is carried out by women on men • Abuse that happens in same-sex or same-gender relationships • Abuse that happens after the relationship ends

5. This presentation is not… • About how to handle behaviors in the group which may be disrespectful, inappropriate, frustrating, etc. • About what to do when someone in the group is being abusive to friends or acquaintances within the group

6. It is Intimate Partner Violence… • “If the [survivor] becomes fearful of the violator,

7. It is Intimate Partner Violence… • if she modifies her behavior in response to the [abuse] or to avoid future abuse,

8. It is Intimate Partner Violence… • or if the [survivor] intentionally maintains a particular consciousness or behavioral repertoire to avoid [abuse],

9. It is Intimate Partner Violence… • despite her preference not to do so, she is [abused]” (Hart: 1986:173)

10. With Intimate Partner Violence… “Constraints placed by abusers on their partners are “patterned, ongoing, nonvoluntary, and personalized” (Stark 2007: 38).

11. Intimate Partner Violence • Not all abuse occurs within the home • Not all abuse is between a man and a woman • Not all abuse is physical • Research shows that non-physical forms of abuse are more prevalent and are considered more hurtful toward the survivors/victims

12. Why Talk about This? • Individuals with TBI tend to be more dependent on their spouses • This sometimes leads to higher levels of aggression towards spouses post-injury. This looks like, and is, IPV.

13. Why Talk about This? • Oftentimes, people with TBI lash out at their caregivers, in many cases their intimate partners. This looks like, and is, IPV.

14. Why Talk about This? • Individuals with brain injuries can forget day to day incidents, which can make them feel that they are being lied to. • This frustration and anger is often taken out on intimate partners. • This looks like, and is, IPV.

15. Why Talk about This? • Research found that there was a 70% incidence of post traumatic irritability of which 20% was defined as violence behavior that could persist for at least 5 years after injury. This does not even look at non-physical abuse. • This looks like, and is, IPV

17. More Statistics… • One study of women in three IPV shelters found that: • 92% had been hit in the head by their partners, most more than once

18. More Statistics… • 84% had been both hit in the head and severely shaken • 8% of them had been hit in the head over 20 times in the past year.

19. More Statistics… • The more times they had been hit in the head or shaken, the more severe/frequent, were their symptoms. • As we know, these are all events that can lead to TBI.

20. Barriers to Protecting Oneself from Continuing Abuse… • Not keeping important appointments with professionals such as: counselors or doctors, or court dates. • Inability to accurately assess danger.

21. Barriers to Protecting Oneself from Continuing Abuse… • Unable to defend oneself against, or escaping from, physical or sexual assault. • Unable to judge when one needs medical care. • Even when they know it is time to leave, it can be difficult making plans to leave.

22. Barriers to Protecting Oneself from Continuing Abuse… • Difficulty living alone; finding accessible housing. • Difficulty finding and using IPV services and other needed services. • Difficulty adapting to living in a shelter.

23. Who Experiences IPV?

24. Methods of IPV • Intimidation • Isolation • Control

25. The Power and Control Wheel

26. At the core of all IPV are POWER and CONTROL

27. Different Ways to Abuse… • VIOLENCE • Physical • Sexual

28. Different Ways to Abuse… • Using Coercion and Threats • Using Intimidation • Using Emotional Abuse

29. Different Ways to Abuse… • Using Isolation • Blaming, Denying and Minimizing

30. Different Ways to Abuse… • Using Children • Using Male Privilege • Using Economic Abuse

32. Things to Remember… * Abusive People ARE NOT Abusive All the Time * Avoid Victim Blaming: the abusive person is the one at fault. * Leaving is NOT Always an Option.

33. Warning Signs of IPV • Most of the guides to recognizing IPV are directed toward survivors and abusers. • EX: Does your partner make you feel emotionally numb? • EX: Do you make threats to get your partner to do what you want? • How do we know if abuse is happening in other people’s relationships?

35. What to do if IPV is Suspected • There is no magic recipe. • Don’t play therapist • Don’t “call someone out” in front of the group • Don’t take on the role of other professionals: police and IPV advocates are here to support us

36. How to Offer Support to the Survivor • Privately and sensitively. Not in front of the group • It is better to tell a survivor what is out there rather than advise them to take certain actions. Ex: tell someone that there are shelters and places to go, if they want to leave • Don’t tell them that they should leave • Let it be a process of self-disclosure

37. Instead of… • Telling the survivor she/he should/must leave their partner. • Remind the survivor of her/his value as a person and their strengths. • Talking poorly about the abusive partner. • Point out the negative behaviors.

38. How to Offer Support to the Possible Abuser • Privately and sensitively. Not in front of the group • Contact a professional to see what options are out there to support possible abusers. • Try to recognize that there is always more than meets the eye. There is always more than one side to the story. • Understand that the problem may be the problem of both parties

39. Types of Services • Shelters • Legal advocacy • Childcare • Employment Programs • Possible support groups and therapy for abusers

40. What to do if Abuse Occurs in a Support Group • Don’t take sides. • Leave the meeting space. • End the meeting. • Use phone contact to check in with the group members later that day. • Call security, if necessary • Call 9-1-1, if you believe anyone is in immediate physical danger

41. Sources of Support 1. The Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (WSCADV) 1-800-562-6025 http://www.wscadv.org/ 2. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) 1-800-799-7233 3. Jessica Giordano Resource Line Manager BIAWA JessicaG@BrainInjuryWA.org 4. . Janet Mott Support Services Coordinator BIAWA JanetM@BrainInjuryWA.org 5. Brain Injury Support Group Network 1-877-719-2378admin@brainenergysupportteam.org

42. What we can all do to help end IPV • As hard as it is to feel helpless, we cannot actually stop the abuser • We can do things to change our social circles; to show that it is unacceptable • Recognize that we are all worthy of respect and no one deserves to be hurt, either physically or emotionally.

43. Thank You!