The Balanced Christian Life

1. The Balanced Christian Life By John Edmiston For Ummah, May 11th 2004

2. What Should Our Life Look Like? • The Bible often speaks about the overall quality on our life and uses concepts such as a “quiet life”, a “fruitful life” , a “blessed life” and a “life pleasing to God”. • Most of Jesus’ commandments concern the quality of our walk with God and how we treat others, rather than the sheer quantity of our ministry. • This presentation will focus on our life as a whole unit – not just our work life, but all of life.

3. A Quiet Life… • (1 Thessalonians 4:11 NKJV) that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, • (1 Timothy 2:2 NKJV) (pray ) for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. • (1 Peter 3:4 NKJV) rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

4. Living The Quiet Life • The quiet life is lived by ‘still waters and green pastures’, is organic, natural, quietly spiritual, wholesome and peaceful. • The quiet life is not forced and strained and relies on growth from God over time. • The quiet life is free from ego and self-promotion. • The quiet life is godly and obedient and centered on relationships lived in love. • The quiet Christian “minds his own business” and is not a gossip or busybody. ( 1 Thessalonians 4:11) • The quiet Christian is hardworking and productive.

5. Production Or Fruit? • Most people don’t care that much about your numerical output . • They do care about how you act and react. • They do care about how you treat them. • Are the spiritual fruit falling off the tree? Are patience, kindness, and gentleness, being ditched because you are in a hurry? • If slowing down by 20% makes you 100% better in your relationships - then it is obviously worth it.

6. The Love Factor • The Christian faith is about loving God and neighbor. • If we are so busy in ministry that we lose contact with God then we have FAILED in our duty of love as a Christian and need to repent immediately. • If we are so busy in ministry that we are impatient, and rude, if we have few deep relationships, and if our family feels neglected and uncared for we have FAILED in our duty of love as a Christian and need to repent immediately.

7. Love Is Better Than Ministry… • 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 MKJV (1) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I have become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. (2) And though I have prophecies, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so as to move mountains, and do not have charity, I am nothing. (3) And though I give out all my goods to feed the poor, and though I deliver my body to be burned, and have not charity, I am profited nothing. • Ministry without love does not impress God! First of all we must LIVE IN LOVE, then we minister out of that love. Paul even stopped his ministry to go and find his good friend Titus. ( 2 Corinthians 2:13) • The balanced life is a LOVING life!

8. Love Is Better Than Sacrifice • There is a kind of “sacrifice” that is selfish and Pharisaical. • It puts the spiritual ego of the Christian worker ahead of the needs of friends and family. • It makes unnecessary sacrifices in order to appear spiritual. It can destroy the family and embitter the children against God. • This is what Paul teaches against in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 • The balanced Christian life is caring and gentle and kind.

9. The Family • The family is the first ministry priority for all Christians and must not be neglected for Christian work. • 1 Timothy 5:8 MKJV But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially his family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. • Christian workers who refuse to provide for their families because the money is being used “for ministry” have denied the faith. Jesus also taught that family was more important than giving to God. • Mark 7:10-13 MKJV For Moses said, "Honor your father and your mother." And, "Whoever curses father or mother, let him die the death." (11) But you say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, Corban! (that is, A gift to God, whatever you may profit by me) (12) and you no longer allow him to do anything toward his father or mother, (13) making the Word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have delivered. And you do many such things.

10. The Christian Worker’s Call • Our first and most fundamental call is to salvation, holiness and loving Christ-like living in Christian community. • This call takes priority over our “call to ministry”. • Our ministry call is not our God. We should slow down or even stop our ministry when love or holiness demands it. • Our call / ministry goals are no excuse for: • Lies, financial dishonesty, stretching the truth, or scams. • Harsh, hateful or divisive behavior. • Treating our family and friends poorly.

11. Pressure From Others… • Christian workers often face a lot of pressure from well-meaning people to take on too much work. • We need to let go of the need for human approval and to just rest in God’s approval of us in Christ. • This is made much easier if we have a clear sense of priorities.

12. Seven Priorities • God – our relationship with God, holiness, faith • Health – you are no use in ministry if you are dead. • Family – our first ministry zone • Friends – are you living in love in community? • Ministry – using our gifts in love • Study – sharpening the saw, growing in wisdom • Recreation – enjoying God’s creation

13. Living By Priorities • The higher priorities are the most important. When there is a clash of priorities they must prevail. Faith is more important than health, family is more important than friends etc. • Priorities do not indicate time allotment. Ministry may take up more time than friendship but if it takes up so much time that your friends are alienated from you, then you are out of balance. • Priorities are over life as a whole. At certain times one may dominate e.g on holidays recreation may get the most time.

14. There Is a Time For Everything…. • Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 MKJV (1) To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the heavens: (2) a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pull up what is planted; (3) a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; (4) a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; (5) a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; (6) a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; (7) a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; (8) a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. (9) What profit does he have who works in that in which he labors? (10) I have seen the task which God has given to the sons of men to be humbled by it. (11) He has made everything beautiful in His time; also He has set eternity in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God makes from the beginning to the end.

15. Everything Beautiful In Its Time • “He has made everything beautiful in His time; also He has set eternity in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God makes from the beginning to the end.” • The balanced Christian life has times and seasons. There is a proper “time” to enter into ministry, start projects, go on holidays etc. • These are often gentle natural rhythms of growth and harvest. • Love and grace have their rhythms and God has His ways. • Unbalanced Christians do things “out of time” and clatter about and are often inappropriate in their actions. • We should not force our lives into a human timetable. Rather we need to listen to the Holy Spirit to sense God’s timing in all things.

16. The Christian Life Is Easy! • We should lead lives of gentle gracious love that produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit and which do the good deeds that He has prepared beforehand for us to do in the proper timing of God. • This can sound very relaxed and it is! • Mat 11:28 Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light. • 1 John 5:3 MKJV For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments, and His commandments are not burdensome.

17. However It Is Also Energetic! • While the Christian life is not burdensome it is energetic and practical. • There is a difference between relaxed and still in God – and being ‘asleep in the light’. • In Christ we cease hurrying and fretting and clattering about. • Instead we work peacefully, diligently and purposefully in the Spirit to do the Lord’s work.

18. Stress & The Brain • The brain is like a computer. • Like a computer it can clog up and “hang” when its ability to process instructions becomes overloaded. • Overload comes when what we are trying to do is: • Too much • Too complex • Or too urgent • The decision about what we shall process and attend to is mainly made by the reticular formation.

19. Selective Attention • Say you are driving along listening to music. • Then suddenly a child on a bicycle swerves in front of you. • Your mind moves attention from the music to the impending accident. • This switch in attention and processing is made very swiftly by the reticular formation. • It decides that the bicycle is more urgent and more important.

20. Overload • If three bicycles , a tractor and a deep ditch suddenly appear you cannot cope with them all at once. • Your mind is overloaded and may either freeze up, or panic and make a rash choice. • We can only cope with “so much” before we run out of processing space and feel “clogged up” and anxious. • Taking on too much or taking on things that are too complex places us under stress.

21. Stress Breakdown – Stage 1 • Firstly our system fires warning bells about the overload we are experiencing and we feel stressed and anxious and uptight and tense. • These uncomfortable feelings are trying to tell us that we are doing too much and it would be a good idea if we slowed down. • They are saying “You are driving yourself too fast, back off.” • Many people ignore these warning signals, they like “driving fast”, living on adrenalin and they have an image of wanting to do more than others. So they suppress the anxiety by an act of will and keep going.

22. Stress Breakdown – Stage 2 • In stage two the person loses control of emotions and finds themselves getting angry or upset very easily. They can cry one minute and laugh the next. These sudden emotional changes are termed “emotional lability”. • The person in stage two stress breakdown also lose their ability to adjust to change and to motivate themselves to get started though once they have started they can work as hard as anyone else. • The system is beginning to crumble at this point and the person becomes subject to psychosomatic disorders as the body tries to slow the person down. These include migraines, headaches, asthma, dermatitis and hay fever. • The immune system suffers and resistance bacteria and viruses already present in the person’s body may be able to cause disease. These include common infections such as colds and ‘flu, herpes virus infections, mouth ulcers, lobar pneumonia, boils and pimples, tonsillitis and urinary tract infections.

23. Stress Breakdown – Stage 3 • 1. Avoidance of sensory stimulation 2. Development of intolerance, and 3. Apparent change in personality. • The brain’s circuit breakers have cut in. Everything is being rapidly simplified to reduce the number of issues the person has to deal with. • In order to avoid sensory stimulation the person may retreat to the countryside, separate from their partner, stop having sex, avoid loud music and stop going to shopping centers. Sounds will seem too loud, ice too cold, lights too bright. They will switch off the radio when others turn it on. They will go outside and walk around and just “space out”.

24. Intolerance • Development of intolerance is a mechanism for making life easy to classify, so the reticular formation can deal with the backlog. If the shades of grey and complex questions can be eliminated life becomes simple and things can be processed again. • If everything can be reduced to the binary states the brain is most comfortable processing, then it can whiz through the decisions. As the decisions are made the clogged up feeling goes and some of the stress can be removed. • In third stage stress breakdown people become totally intolerant of small things “If you leave your shaving hairs in the sink I will leave you”. Just a small thing, that was previously tolerated or laughed at, becomes a major drama. Things previously tolerated become unable to be tolerated in third stage stress breakdown.

25. Change In Personality • Lastly the person in third stage stress breakdown may have an apparent change in personality and change their values. They may be unable to resist cult recruiters, they are easily brainwashed, they have sudden changes in beliefs and ideas and attitudes that required some will or effort to maintain are likely to be abandoned. • Some talk of a strange feeling of peace and purity that comes with this process as everything gets radically simplified. • There is also a loss of the “law of strength”. Normally a slight tap on the knee elicits a slight movement and a large tap on the knee a large movement. The law that a small stimulus generally elicits a small response and a large stimulus a large response is known as “the law of strength” and is a sign of a normal functioning of the nervous system. • In third stage stress breakdown the person ignores the electricity bill and major responsibilities while becoming preoccupied with trivia. When the electricity is cut off nobody in the house can understand why the bill was not paid. All the aspects of the personality change can be attributed to the person avoiding complexity in their life.

26. Getting Rid Of Stress • 1. Am I trying to do too much? • 2. Is what I am doing too complicated? • 3. Is what I am doing too urgent? Am I trying to do too many things in too short a space of time? • 4. I what I am doing “too important”. Am I telling myself that virtually everything is important?

27. Inner Language & Self-Talk • Words such as “should”, ‘must” ought” , “have to”, got to” create the feeling that the task is compulsory, urgent or important. • If you have “got to” do everything and “have to” do it “right now”– you soon feel overloaded. • You are telling your brain that EVERYTHING is important so it cannot prioritize inputs properly. • Eliminate “should”, “must” and “have to” or use them very sparingly. • Speak to yourself in calm, controlled, positive , gentle terms. • List tasks in event order, not time order. • Time deadlines create inner pressure, event order is more natural and relaxing. • “I will do X after lunch” is more relaxing than “I must do X before 2 o’clock”

28. Driving Forces – Control & Ambition • Some people become stressed out and ill pursuing unrealistic inner drives and ambitions. • Others strive to control everyone & everything. This means they must attend to many things simultaneously - which is very stressful. • Some have a strong urge to please others that makes them take on too much work. • Trying to reach an imaginary “top level” quickly can create a stressful urgency in every action. • Other people imagine they are responsible for a large number of people or even “the whole world’.

29. Moving From Stress To Peace • Use “To-Do” lists. Write down what you should be dong so it is clear to you. • Schedule tasks - then live one day at a time. • Have clear and conscious priorities. • Cease making everything important. • Delay some seemingly “urgent” tasks • Delegate simple jobs that take up brain-space. • Ditch trivial and unnecessary tasks and decisions. • Cut down on sensory overload. • Simplify life and keep it simple. • Develop a clear sense of order. Avoid clutter. • Do not “crash diet” or expose your body to extreme physiological stress.

30. The Peace That Surpasses…. • (Romans 8:5-6 NKJV) {5} For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. {6} For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. • (Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV) Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; {7} and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

31. Summary • Set your mind on the Spirit and pray often. • Live in love of God and neighbor. • Live a quiet and fruitful life let love, joy, peace and patience, kindness etc naturally flow from you. • Fruit matters more than results. Slow down if you are becoming stressed, grumpy, impatient and unkind. • Seek God’s timing and rhythm to your life. • Care for your family and have clear priorities. • Live simply and in an uncomplicated way. • Put aside “oughts” and compulsions. • Stop trying to please other people. • Delay, delegate or ditch some tasks.