‘It’s our game, not yours’ Promoting Positive Parental/Spectator Behaviour

1. ‘It’s our game, not yours’ Promoting Positive Parental/Spectator Behaviour

2. Aims: • to identify the benefits of parents’ involvement in sport • to identify the nature and extent of the problem of poor parental behaviour • to consider the impact of poor behaviour, especially on young people • to identify how to avoid, reduce or deal with incidents.

3. “We just want to have fun, learn new skills and make new friends...”

4. Parents play a vital role in encouraging, enabling, and supporting children’s participation in their chosen sport - at every level and in every sport

5. (Optional) Exercise: Identify ways parents can: • support, encourage and motivate children and young people who participate in sport • make positive contributions to sports clubs

6. 1 Positive Parents may: • share their enthusiasm for participation in sport • encourage their child/ren to take up, enjoy and achieve in their sport • provide transport, equipment, or finances • support in a positive and fair way • promote respect for the sport’s rules, officials, their child’s team-mates and opponents

7. 2 Positive Parents may: • model and reinforce positive attitudes • help out with club activities • become coaches or volunteers • act as welfare officers or committee members • contribute to fundraising initiatives • support their child/the team at matches • provide refreshments or transport

8. However many sports are also struggling to address the challenges presented by a minority of parents whose behaviour has a negative impact on their own and other children, and other people involved in the club.

9. (Optional) Exercise Identify • Different examples of negative parental/spectator behaviour at all levels in sport

10. 1 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour Abusive parents • verbal aggression towards own child, officials, other children/supporters/coaches • teasing/mocking of young people • threats and fights with other adults and/or young people • intimidation of officials – including young officials • some behaviours constitute criminal offences and/or child abuse

11. “My friend decided he didn't want to play any more, not after his dad was asked to leave the match. • It must have been so embarrassing for him”.

12. 2 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour Challenging parents • contradict coaches’ advice/instructions • constant criticism of own/other children • ‘Win at all costs’ mentality • encourage rule-breaking • challenge club re selection, training, sanctions or ethos

13. “Winning at all costs – is that our dream or yours?”

14. 3 Negative Parental/Spectator Behaviour Pushy Parents • unreasonable/unrealistic expectations of their child • only acknowledge winning, not child’s effort, progress or enjoyment • live through their child’s activities • Impose their aspirations on their child • do not accept club sanctions for poor behaviour • accept poor coaching practice for results

15. “My mum was always supportive of me in my training but when it came to competitions she always compared me to everyone else, even when I'd done better than ever before. • Unless I won it wasn't good enough.”

16. What do children tell us…..? • Video: The Magic Sports Kit

17. (Optional) Exercise • Identify the ways that poor parental/spectator behaviour impact on children and young people

18. The impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on children and young people • Fear • Demotivation • Anxiety • Confusion about tactics/team role • Loss of fun and enjoyment • Lack of confidence • Worry about how parent will behave

19. The impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on children and young people • Distraction from playing sport • Embarrassment • Undermined authority (young officials) • Sanctions imposed by club • Being asked to leave the team or club • Leaving the sport altogether

20. (Optional) Exercise • Consider the potential impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour on the following: • The sport • Clubs • Coaches • Officials (including young officials) • Other parents/supporters

21. Wider impact of poor parental/spectator behaviour • Negative image of the sport • Poor reputation for club – puts off potential players • Additional stress for coaches/officials • Fear of, or actual, assaults • Officials (particularly young officials) may leave the sport • Parents and players may move to other clubs • Club faces investigations and sanctions

22. Sideline Bad Behaviour: Research • Children 1st (Scotland) survey in 2012 • Studied impact on children and young people u12 to 16+ • Involved 154 children and 340 parents • 34 sports covered • Outcomes supported earlier studies

23. Key findings: Children & young people • Almost half (43%) had experienced this behaviour • Half (47%) had witnessed behaviour towards another child • Swearing/name-calling most common • All felt threatened • Physical abuse included pushing, kicking, hitting & spitting (included under 12s) • 20% experience negatively affected their performance or made them want to quit • For half it continued after sports activity ended

24. Key findings: Parents & carers • Half said their child had mentioned spectator behaviour • 43% parents had witnessed bad behaviour • Commonly swearing at children, name-calling and making fun of them • 68% reported that someone challenged the behaviour • A quarter would not know what to do

25. Scenarios Consider the example scenarios (appropriate to the sport, club or audience) 1. How/by whom should this situation be managed and responded to? What policies and processes will apply? 2. What steps could have been taken (at club, county, region or sport governing body levels) to reduce the likelihood of this situation arising

26. (Optional) Exercise • Identify practical steps that clubs and sports organisations can (or do) take to prevent, reduce and manage poor parental behaviour.

27. Practical steps to address the problem • Adopt a whole club/sport/organisation approach, supported by management • Arrangements need to be in place to clarify, publicise and promote expectations of side-line behaviour: • eg Code of Conduct • introductory packs and/or parent/participants meetings • registration forms • posters or leaflets • use of websites of club notice boards

28. Practical steps to address the problem • Widely publicised procedures to encourage reporting and responding to alleged poor behaviour in a fair and transparent way • Recording systems to capture, monitor and map developing concerns • Support to individuals (adults or young people) raising concerns

29. Practical steps to address the problem • Reporting to/support from sports governing body to club • A range of clear sanctions for poor behaviour • Increased monitoring, support and ‘policing’ of individuals or groups identified as representing a problem • Wherever possible, actions taken should not impact on the ability of a young person to continue to participate

30. Reporting concerns • Concerns about the behaviour of parents or spectators should be reported to: • XXX Club details • XXX NGB details

31. (Optional) Exercises • Next steps: • Identify the core elements of a parent/spectator code of conduct? • or • Describe how young people could be involved in the process of developing a code of conduct • What do you/your club/sport need to do • next?

32. Young people tell us they want….. • their voices to be heard • a focus on enjoyment rather than winning • parents and coaches to have clear roles and behaviour guidelines • there to be mutually agreed expectations and aspirations • celebration of their successes - wider than simply winning (eg learning a new skill, playing well, trying hard)

33. Remember: ‘It’s our game not yours’