Cardwell C. Nuckols MA, PhD cnuckols@elitecorp

1. Psychology, spirituality and true happiness Cardwell C. Nuckols MA, PhD cnuckols@elitecorp.org

3. Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936) Do not care overly much forwealth or power or fameor one day you will meet someonewho cares for none of these thingsand you might realizehow poor you have become.

4. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow What lies behind us and What lies before us are Tiny matters compared to What lies within us.

5. INTRODUCTION • REHABILITATION OR HEALING • OVERALL WELL-BEING • SUPERFICIAL SOCIETY • 90-95 % STATE BELIEF IN GOD OF THEIR UNDERSTANDING • NONLINEAR (NON DUALITY) AND LINEAR (DUALITY) • NEUROBIOLOGY

6. FATHER THOMAS KEATING “THIS PREDICAMENT IS IDENTIFIED BY A NEED FOR ESCAPE FROM THE CIRCLE OF EVER-RECURRING EVIL HABITS WITH THEIR ENSUING MISERY. THE CHRISTIAN TRADITION REGARDS THE CURE OF THIS MALAISE AS A RETURN TO INTIMACY WITH GOD, WHICH IS THE SOURCE OF HUMAN WHOLENESS.” THE HEART OF THE WORLD, PG. 40

7. FATHER THOMAS KEATING “ACCORDING TO ALL GREAT RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD, THE ESSENTIAL WORK OF EVERY HUMAN LIFE IS TO PREPARE FOR UNION WITH THE ULTIMATE REALITY.” THE HEART OF THE WORLD, PG. 40

8. NON-LINEAR Linear (Duality) vs. Non-linear (Non-Duality) LINEAR OBJECTIVE NEWTONIAN PHYSICS MANIFEST WORLD (CONTENT) SEPARATE SELF EGO CAUSE-EFFECT BLAME WORLD OF OPPOSITES SUBJECTIVE (SPIRITUAL) QUANTUM PHYSICS UNMANIFEST WORLD (CONTEXT) “ONENESS” EFFECT PARADOX OF THE OPPOSITES

9. OVERVIEW • HIDE AND SEEK • WHERE ARE YOU? • WHO ARE YOU? • PATHWAYS TO TRUE HAPPINESS • TECHNIQUES • TOOLS

10. HIDE AND SEEK

12. WHERE ARE YOU? • FIRST HALF OF THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY • WHY ARE YOU HIDING? • GENESIS 3-GOD’S QUESTION TO ADAM AND EVE • WHERE AM I? • IN RELATION TO ….. • GOD • MYSELF • OTHER HUMANS

13. WHERE ARE YOU? • WHEN ANSWERED HONESTLY ONE BEGINS THE SPIRITUAL SEARCH • GOD WANTS YOU TO COME OUT FROM HIDING AND BECOME INTIMATE • ADAM AND EVE • DUALITY SEPARATES ONE FROM GOD • WITHOUT THE EXPERIENCE OF NON-LINEAR CONSCIOUSNESS NOTHING QUITE WORKS OUT RIGHT

14. WHERE ARE YOU? “STRIVE TO ENTER IN THROUGH THE NARROW DOOR; FOR I SAY TO YOU, THAT MANY WILL SEEK TO ENTER IN AND WILL NOT BE ABLE.” LUKE 13:24

15. WHERE ARE YOU? • INVOLVED IN A SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES • EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR IT • VERY FEW KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT • THOSE LOOKING GET LOTS OF HELP FROM OTHERS LOOKING WHO ALSO DON’T KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT • GIVES A SENSE OF SOLIDARITY BUT NOT SECURITY

16. WHERE ARE YOU? • SEEK-A SPIRITUAL HUNGER • WE ARE DESIGNED FOR AND DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS, TRUTH AND LOVE WITHOUT END • AT AROUND 12-14 YO DEVELOP SELF-REFLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS • ABILITY TO QUESTION AND DOUBT WHAT ONE KNOWS, TO DENY OR AFFFIRM ONE’S BELIEFS, JUDGE ONE’S PERCEPTIONS AND TO REFLECT ON ONE’S PAST

17. WHERE ARE YOU? • INSTINCTUAL PROGRAMS ARE ALL WE HAVE TO BUILD PROGRAMS FOR HAPPINESS, LOVE AND TRUTH • WITHOUT REASON TO MODIFY THESE PROGRAMS WE BUILD A UNIVERSE WITH OURSELVES AT THE CENTER (EGO) • EVERYTHING IS EVALUATED BASED ON MEETING OUR NEEDS FOR HAPPINESS

18. WHERE ARE YOU? • WHAT HAPPENS IF OUR SECURITY, AFFECTION AND CONTROL NEEDS ARE DEPRIVED • COMPENSATE-LOOK FOR SYMBOLS WITHIN OUR ENVIRONMENT • IF UNBEARABLE-REPRESSED INTO UNCONSCIOUS • HIDE THE PAIN WE CANNOT FACE LEAVING ONE TO REPRESS (REPEAT PAINFUL EVENTS UNCONSCIOUSLY) OR COMPENSATE WITH EXTERNAL FORMS OF PLEASURE TO OFFSET PAIN • START OF THE “ADDICTIVE PROCESS”

19. WHERE ARE YOU? • AROUND AGES 4-8 INTERNALIZE VALUES OF FAMILY, PEER GROUP, RELIGION, NATIONALITY, RACE, GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY • SOURCE OF • OPINIONS • POSITIONALITIES • MOTIVES • BIASES • PREJUDICES

20. WHERE ARE YOU? • JESUS SAID YOU NEED TO HATE YOUR PARENTS IN ORDER TO BE HIS DISCIPLE • SHOULD LOVE, RESPECT AND CARE FOR YOUR PARENTS IN THEIR OLD AGE (4TH COMMANDMENT OF THE TORAH) • BUT SHOULD NOT BE NAIVELY LOYAL TO ANY PERSON OR GROUP THAT DISREGARDS INJUSTICES IN NEED OF CORRECTION

21. WHERE ARE YOU? • Repent-To change the direction from which you are looking for TRUE happiness (sin-to miss the mark) • So you are free to follow the values of your own conscience (INTENTION) • Without being fearful of upsetting the group • We are members of the whole human race • NOT NON-ATTACHMENT BUT DETACHMENT • Wear the world like a light garment

22. WHERE ARE YOU? • Repent (CONTINUED) • GROW UP-GIVE UP CHILDISH WAYS • CONSCIOUSNESS IS DOORWAY TO INTUITIVE AND UNITIVE LEVELS • PRESENCE OF GOD • “FOR I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I DO; AND I DO NOT DO THE THING WHICH I WANT, BUT I DO THE THING WHICH I HATE. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO.” ST. PAUL, ROMANS 7:15

23. ROMANS 7 15 FOR I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I DO; AND I DO NOT DO THE THING WHICH I WANT, BUT I DO THE THING WHICH I HATE. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO. 16 SO THEN IF I DO THAT WHICH I DO NOT WISH TO DO, I CAN TESTIFY CONCERNING THE LAW THAT IS GOOD. 17 NOW THEN IT IS NOT I WHO DO IT BUT SIN WHICH DOMINATE ME.

24. ROMANS 7 18 YET I KNOW THAT IT DOES NOT FULLY DOMINATE ME (THAT IS IN MY FLESH): BUT AS FAR AS GOOD IS CONCERNED, THE CHOICE IS EASY FOR ME TO MAKE, BUT TO DO IT IS DIFFICULT TO ME. 19 FOR IT IS NOT THE GOOD THAT I WISH TO DO, THAT I DO; BUT IT IS THE EVIL THAT I DO NOT WISH TO DO, THAT I DO.

25. ROMANS 7 20 NOW IF I DO THAT WHICH I DO NOT WISH, THEN IT IS NOT I WHO DO IT, BUT THE SIN WHICH DOMINATES ME. 21 I FIND THEREFORE THAT THE LAW AGREES WITH MY CONSCIENCE WHEN I WISH TO DO GOOD, BUT EVIL IS ALWAYS NEAR, DISTRACTING ME. 22 FOR I DELIGHT IN THE LAW OF GOD AFTER THE INWARD MAN;

26. ROMANS 7 23 BUT I SEE ANOTHER LAW IN MY MEMBERS, WARNING AGAINST THE LAW OF MY MIND, AND IT MAKES ME CAPTIVE TO THE LAW OF SIN WHICH IS IN MY MEMBERS. 24 O WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM! WHO SHALL DELIVER ME FROM THIS MORTAL BODY? 25 I THANK GOD FOR DELIVERANCE THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. NOW THEREFORE WITH MY MIND I AM SERVANT OF THE LAW OF GOD; BUT WITH MY FLESH I AM A SERVANT OF THE LAW OF SIN.

27. FIRST EPISTLE OF JOHN • CHAPTER 3 • 15 LOVE NOT THE WORLD, NEITHER THE THINGS THAT ARE IN THE WORLD. HE WHO LOVES THE WORLD, THE LOVE OF THE FATHER IS NOT IN HIM. • 16 FOR ALL THAT IS IN THE WORLD IS THE LUST OF THE BODY, THE COVETOUSNESS OF THE EYES, AND THE PRIDE OF MATERIAL THINGS; THESE THINGS DO NOT COME FROM THE FATHER BUT FROM THE WORLD. • 17 AND THE WORLD PASSES AWAY, AND THE LUST THEREOF; BUT HE WHO DOES THE WILL OF GOD ABIDES FOREVER.

28. WHO ARE YOU? • SECOND HALF OF THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY • DIVINE THERAPY AND AA BASED ON FACT THAT YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND YOUR LIFE IS “UNMANAGEABLE” • EMOTIONS OF ANGER, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, ETC. ARE OFTEN SIGNS UNCONSCIOUS PROGRAMS HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED • TRIGGERS OLD UNCONSCIOUS VALUE SYSTEMS (UNMET NEEDS)

29. WHO ARE YOU? • BECAUSE OF UNMET INSTINCTUAL NEEDS LIFE IS CONTROLLED BY EXTERNAL EVENTS AND OUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS TO THEM • FINDING SPOUSE • WHO WE WORK FOR • THINGS WE BUY • THINGS WE DO • IMPEDIMENT TO FREE WILL

30. FALL OF MAN • DOCTRINE OF THE FALL AS THEOLOGICAL EXPLANATION OF THE PERVASIVE DISEASE OF THE HUMAN CONDITION • BETTER EXPLAINED BY PSYCHOLOGY • FREUD • PIAGET

31. FREUD • Psychic remnant of inadequate attention • Very prevalent in West (LOW SELF-ESTEEM) • Involves early life neglect • Perceived by individual as “inner emptiness” • During meditation history of estrangement will surface as early unmet longing

32. FREUD • Freud taught that for successful therapy • Remembering of early forgotten aspects of childhood was critical • Three approaches: • CATHARSIS • FREE ASSOCIATIONS • REPEATING • Represented a shift to the present

33. FREUD • Doesn’t involve exploration of past but looking at present behavior • Rather than recalling an early formative experience MOST SIMPLY REPRODUCE IT

34. FREUD • One crucial and defining feature: THEY REMAIN UNAWARE

35. FREUD • Unresolved psychological issues can block our true “being” • Comes from losing access to or lack of development of the capacities needed to respond creatively to challenge • Power • Love • Flexibility • Confidence • Trust

36. JEAN PIGET • JEAN PIGET LOOKED AT THE ROOTS OF UNCONSCIOUS EMOTIONAL PROGRAMS FOR HAPPINESS • EACH OF US NEEDS TO BE REASSURED AND AFFIRMED • IF CHILD DOES NOT RECEIVE LEADS TO • Defensive strategies • Compensatory measures • CHILD EMOTIONALLY GETS STUCK AT THE LEVEL OF DEPRIVATION

37. JEAN PIGET • OVER TIME THIS FIXATION HARDENS INTO A PROGRAM FOR HAPPINESS SUPPORTED BY • THOUGHTS • Opinions • Positionalities • BEHAVIORS • EMOTIONS • LATER EXPERIENCES THAT TRIGGER THE PROGRAM ARE EVALUATED AS HELPFUL OR HARMFUL TO THE PROGRAM

38. FALL OF MAN • PROGRAM IS REINFORCED BY FAMILY, CULTURE AND PEER GROUP • ERICKSON-TRUST (HOPE) BALANCED AGAINST MISTRUST • AS ADULTS WE YEARN FOR AN UNSELF-CONCIOUS UNITY THAT WAS LOST DUE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SEPARATE SELF

39. FALL OF MAN • CARL ROGERS THREE PARENTAL CHARACTERISTICS • ABILITY TO ACCEPT CHILD’S FEELINGS AND STRIVINGS • ABILITY TO ACCEPT OWN FEELINGS THAT CERTAIN OF THE CHILD’S BEHAVIORS ARE UNDESIRABLE • COMMUNICATION OF ACCEPTANCE OF THE CHILD AS A PERSON

40. FALL OF MAN • THESE PARENTAL CHARACTERISTICS CREATE CONDITIONS OF WORTH THROUGH WHICH CHILD FILTERS EXPERIENCE • SUBCEPTION-INDIVIDUAL PERCEIVES THREAT BUT DOEN’T ADMIT IT TO FULL AWARENESS IN HIGHER COGNITIVE CENTERS; CREATES ONSET OF DEFENSIVE PERSONALITY DISORGANIZATION

41. FALL OF MAN • GOAL IS HAPPINESS BUT FALSE SELF DOESN’T KNOW WHERE TO FIND IT • FROM ST. AUGUSTINE’S THEOLOGY OF ORIGINAL SIN THE CONSEQUENCES ARE.. • ILLUSION • DON’T KNOW WHAT TRUE HAPPINESS IS OR WHERE TO FIND IT • CONCUPISCENCE • WE ARE MADE FOR HAPPINESS BUT TRY TO FIND IT IN THE WRONG PLACES

42. FALL OF MAN • FROM ST. AUGUSTINE’S THEOLOGY OF ORIGINAL SIN THE CONSEQUENCES ARE..(CONT.) • WEAKNESS OF WILL • EVEN IF WE DISCOVER WHAT AND WHERE TRUE HAPPINESS IS OUR WILL IS TOO WEAK TO DO ANYTHING • NOT GOING TO HAPPEN THRU OUR OWN EFFORT • NEED TO ATTACH TO SOMETHING GREATER THAN OURSELVES

43. FALL OF MAN • DEEP SEATED INSTINCTUAL DRIVES • OUR WILL IS TOO WEAK TO RECOVER • WE EMOTIONALLY REACT TO PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS • EVERYTHING JUDGED BY.. “IS THIS GOOD FOR MY INSTINCTUAL PROGRAMS FOR HAPPINESS OR NOT?”

44. FALL OF MAN • WESTERN PSYCHOLOGY • SCHEMAS • SCRIPTS • DYSFUNCTIONAL THOUGHTS • NEGATIVE SELF-TALK • STINKIN’ THINKIN’

45. PATHWAYS TO TRUE HAPPINESS • PATWAY I: SURRENDERING SECONDARY GAIN OF THE EGO • PATHWAY II: CONTEMPLATIVE CHRISTIAN APPROACH • PATHWAYIII: PSYCHOEDUCATION-THE BEATITUDES • THE BEATITUDES CAN BE USED AS A TRUE PATH TO UNITY WITH GOD • OTHER SPIRITUAL PATHWAYS INCLUDING AA

46. THE EGO TO SELF RATIO EGO SELF EGO SELF EGO SELF

47. PATHWAY I: SURRENDERING SECONDARY GAIN OF THE EGO • NEGATIVE EMOTIONS • EGO’S VALUE SYSTEMS FOR HAPPINESS • REVERBERATING LOOPS OF NEGATIVE THOUGHT AND EMOTION • THE EGO AND SECONDARY GAIN • SURRENDERING SECONDARY GAIN • RIGHT BRAIN CONSCIOUSNESS

48. SURRENDERING SECONDARY GAIN OF THE EGO STIMULI NEGATIVE EMOTION EGO’S UNCONSCIOUS VALUE SYSTEMS COGNITIVE LOOPS SECONDARY GAIN EMOTIONAL LOOPS

49. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS • Once triggered chemicals released by the brain surge thru the body causing a physiological response • Within 90 seconds the chemicals have dissipated if one chooses to allow this to happen • For example, moving back into the moment

50. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS • Ego is not unconditionally attached to my happiness • At 90 seconds can go into a spiraling negative interrelated thought and emotional loop or • Monitor body for signs of stress • Label feelings • Increase PFC • Reduce amygdala • Have PFC speak- “Really not interested in being angry right now.” • Change Behavior