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Discover Your Intimacy IQ: A Self-Reflection Questionnaire

This engaging self-assessment tool invites you to evaluate your emotional and interpersonal intelligence through 15 introspective questions. Each question requires you to indicate how well a set of descriptions resonates with you, ranging from "Never/Not at all" to "Always/very strongly." Topics cover your empathy towards others, communication of feelings, adaptability, and more. Use this assessment to deepen your understanding of your intimate connections and improve your emotional intelligence in relationships.

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Discover Your Intimacy IQ: A Self-Reflection Questionnaire

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  1. What’s Your IntimacyIQ?

  2. Question #1 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you enjoy people with notably unique personalities very different from yours?

  3. Question #2 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you find it hard to tell whether the person you’re with is having a good time?

  4. Question #3 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How sorry do you feel on hearing that someone is hurt, upset, in trouble or worried?

  5. Question #4 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How happy do you feel when told that something good or exciting has happened to someone?

  6. Question #5 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you talk about your real feelings with people you care about?

  7. Question #6 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have you been told in some way that your behavior or reactions could be more mature?

  8. Question #7 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you try to help someone feel less embarrassed, such as by sharing a similarly embarrassing experience of yours?

  9. Question #8 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How much do you complain?

  10. Question #9 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Would it bother you if someone you were dating seriously, continued a main hobby or interest that you considered dumb or a waste of time?

  11. Question #10 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • While disagreeing, do you put the other person’s needs before your preferences or consider how you might both get what you want?

  12. Question #11 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How often have you unintentionally embarrassed someone or hurt someone’s feelings?

  13. Question #12 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When you’re used to doing things a certain way, does it bother you to have to change and do them differently?

  14. Question #13 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Should someone who deeply cares about you be able to understand your feelings and needs without you having to explain them?

  15. Question #14 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When alone, do you spend your leisure time imaginatively or creatively, such as by making things or playing music?

  16. Question #15 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you feel uncomfortable around other people?

  17. Question #16 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you give others the impression that you’re somewhat aloof, distant or disinterested?

  18. Question #17 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have you felt younger students or children shouldn’t have privileges you didn’t have at that age?

  19. Question #18 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When working with a group, do you usually volunteer to be responsible for a task?

  20. Question #19 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Have others confided in you about their problems because they felt you’d understand?

  21. Question #20 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Does it bother you that teachers differ in homework, grading or classroom behavior policies?

  22. Question #21 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When choosing a gift for someone you know well, do you usually know what the person likes?

  23. Question #22 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When facing a difficult personal problem, do you ask others for advice?

  24. Question #23 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you convert awkward or embarrassing situations into enjoyable ones?

  25. Question #24 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you give in to others or let them have their way so they’ll think better of you?

  26. Question #25 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you think you’re too assertive, aggressive, nosy or abrupt with people?

  27. Question #26 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Do you get upset when little things go wrong or don’t turn out as you wanted?

  28. Question #27 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • Are others able to open up and share their feelings with you?

  29. Question #28 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • If your spouse continued enjoying a certain sport/activity once a week but you chose not to participate, would you feel left out?

  30. Question #29 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • When others feel uneasy or uptight, do you usually help them feel more at ease or relaxed?

  31. Question #30 • Write A-F for each question to indicate which response best describes you: • Never/Not at all • Rarely/Hardly at all • Seldom/Not strongly • Sometimes/Somewhat strongly • Often/Somewhat strongly • Always/very strongly • How hard is it for you to talk about your deeper thoughts and feelings honestly and seriously with someone you trust?

  32. SCORING… • For questions: 2,6,8,9, 11-13, 15-17, 20, 24-26, 28, 30 • Give yourself points: • A=5 • B=4 • C=3 • D=2 • E=1 • F=0 • For questions: 1, 3-5, 7, 10, 14, 18, 19, 21-23, 27, 29 • Give yourself points: • A=0 • B=1 • C=2 • D=3 • E=4 • F=5

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