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How did I get here?. My Autoethnography. Dayna Natter.
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How did I get here? My Autoethnography Dayna Natter
I guess it all started when I was in the first grade. It was that time of day… My favorite time of day! Creative writing shaped my dreams. Who didn’t love creative writing? Your fairy-tale, poem, or short story would be “published” in the class book. It was legit... But that’s not what made me want to teach. It was in this moment. My teacher read my story. She turned to me and said, “I can’t wait to buy your first book.” So, I thought for a minute… “Hey! I don’t want to be a firefighter or a veterinarian when I grow up. I don’t think that’s my passion. I think I want to be a writer! I mean, Mrs. Kaplan thinks I’m good at it! No, wait! I want to be like my teacher. No, wait! ….I want to BE a teacher.”
My 1st grade teacher changed my life.
It was a normal day. In my 7th grade Social Studies class, my teacher was handing back graded exams. He placed mine on my desk. It was face down, as it always was. Expecting a grade above a 90, I turned my test over without much apprehension. My jaw dropped. I felt choked up and I had that awful feeling in my gut. I asked to go to the bathroom to avoid the embarrassment of crying in front of my friends and peers. I used my cell phone to call my mom from the bathroom. She assured me that I shouldn’t get so worked up over one grade. But… I. Dayna Natter, had just received my first 85. At the time, this seemed like the end of the world and I still vividly remember how I felt that day… 9 years later.
Recovering Perfectionist Perfectionism is extremely hard to let go of. As a student, I never settle for anything less than perfection. Satisfactory or “good enough” work has never been an option for me. As a teacher, I’m going to have to let this go. I’m going to have to abandon my insecurities. Every lesson may not be perfect. Things don’t always go as planned. That’s life… Despite my fears, I will give it my all.
Throughout high school, I was never an athlete or into sports. I played field hockey once… until I broke my thumb and never played again. I knocked over my gym teacher’s coffee twice with a volleyball during my junior year. So, safe to say, I was not going to college on a sports scholarship! Luckily, I did well in school! I had experienced some mediocre teachers. However, almost every English teacher that I had was enthusiastic, engaging and passionate. I truly value the education that I received from my school district and I believe that it kept me on my path. My dreams had not changed. I still wanted to be a teacher.
Teaching is like Shopping Now, you’re probably thinking… “How is teaching anything like shopping?!” Well, I’m going to tell you! As a teacher, you’re always looking for the next best thing… like a new form of technology to integrate into the classroom or a new book. Through educational research, you follow the trends. It is important that you stay up-to-date and use relevant/revolutionary tools and resources. This is exactly like shopping! Just like a fashionista wouldn’t wear last season’s shoes… a teacher shouldn’t rely on old methods just because they work. You have to be open to change, accept technological advances and embrace them!
Now that I’m done with all of my classes, I’ve started to reflect on my college experience at Stony Brook. I’ve had absolutely amazing professors in the English department who have inspired me to become the best teacher that I can be. I truly understand the importance of rigor in the classroom. However, my methods classes have taught me something else… something more valuable and authentic. Compassion and being yourself are the most important. The culmination of all of my life experiences, outside and inside of the classroom, has made me who I am today. My autoethnography will continue to develop as I embark upon my next journey…
