The Need for Formal Dining Etiquette

3. The Need for Formal Dining Etiquette • Have you ever attended a formal dining event and thought: • Which water glass do I drink from? • Which of the forks at my place setting should I use to eat my salad? • Why are there so many utensils and glasses at my place setting? • Do I eat the bread with a fork and knife or use my fingers? • What should I say to my tablemates during the meal? • Am I dining appropriately in this formal setting? • If I drop my fork or spill my drink, what should I do?

4. Introduction to Formal Dining Etiquette • When you complete this workshop, you will be able to: • Identify utensils, glassware and tableware at a formal place setting. • Explain the purpose of each utensil, including what it should be used to eat and when it should be used during a multi-coursed formal dinner. • Set a formal place setting given the courses that will be served. • State how to eat various courses according to formal dining etiquette. • Define behaviors to avoid during a formal dining event. • Describe appropriate formal dining etiquette throughout a formal meal. • List suitable topics of conversation for various formal dining events. • Demonstrate formal dining etiquette during a mock meal.

5. Video: Humor at a Formal Dining Event Show uTube video clip from “Pretty Woman”: Escargot Dining Scene

7. Module 1 Formal Dining Place Settings, Utensils and Courses By Lisa Wortman

8. Objectives for Module 1 • Once you complete this module, you will be able to: • List formal dining utensils and when to use each utensil during a meal. • Distinguish which place setting is appropriate for a particular meal and for each course. • Determine your place setting according to the BMW “code”. • Name each glass and distinguish glass locations at a table setting. • Explain how to properly use breadbaskets and shared condiments. • Describe how to properly eat soup, salad, shellfish, entrees, desserts and other difficult foods.

9. Proper Use of Forma Dining Utensils • Hold your spoon like a pencil • Place the knife between your index finger on the joint between the handle of the knife and the blade of the knife to cut meats and vegetables • Or, use a fish fork and knife if there is a fish knife in your place setting, holding it like a pencil and ensuring your grip is firm so you can remove bones, skin, etc. • Switch your fork and knife from one hand to the other after making a cut and before taking a bite of your food

10. Proper Use of Forma Dining Utensils • Hold your knife and fork at an angle, pivot your wrists, make the cut, place the knife to the top of your plate, switch the fork to your right hand and take the bite • The Silence Service Code tells the server you are still eating by placing your knife and fork in a way that shows there is space between them on the right side of your plate • When finished, line your knife and fork on my plate in a 10-20 position 10-20 position

11. Practice Holding Utensils • Practice Activity Instructions: • I will demonstrate holding a utensil • Then you will mimic my demonstration • I will circulate and provide feedback • We will practice holding each utensil until you are comfortable

12. Can You Set a Formal Place Setting? • Practice Activity: Creating the Appropriate Formal Place Setting • Objective: Given a description of a multi-coursed meal, you will be able to select and place the correct utensils, glassware and dishes in the right locations for that meal’s formal place setting. • A slide will outline a multi-course menu for a formal dining event. • Use the dining ware in front of your places to setup the correct place setting for the entire meal. This includes glassware, utensils and dishes. • You will have 5 minutes per menu and then you can see how you performed. • We will repeat this activity 3 times so you can practice determining where utensils, glassware and dinner items are located at a place setting. • Ready…

13. Meal 1: Formal Place Settings

14. Meal 2: Formal Place Settings

15. Review of the BMW Code B – BUTTER PLATE W - Water Bread Water Middle/meal M – Main Plate or Middle

16. Using Formal Dining Glassware • Glasses are at the right of your place setting and are arranged in the order that you will use them • The white wine glass is closest to your plate, assuming you will have white wine with an appetizer or your first course • The red wine glass is directly behind the white wine glass and has a larger bowl

17. Using Formal Dining Glassware • The water glass is the large goblet behind both wine glasses • There may be a champagne flute in the back of the glass arrangement to be used during dessert usually • When drinking water, grasp the bottom of the water bowl and the the top of the stem with enough fingers to make it secure while drinking • When using glasses with stems, pick the glass up by the stem

18. Etiquette on Shared Table Items • If you are served a roll, break one piece off the bread at a time, close and low to the bread plate, and butter one piece at a time • Eat one piece at a time, taking small bites • If butter comes in a shared dish, take some butter and place it on your bread plate with your butter spreader; then pass the dish to your right • If a breadbasket or other shared condiment or dish is placed closest to you at the table, it is your responsibility to circulate the basket or item around the table passing to your right

19. Let’s Eat How to Eat Different Courses in a Formal Dining Meal

20. How to Eat Shellfish • If the tail is left on the shrimp, you can pick it up with your fingers • If the shellfish is served with a cocktail fork and cocktail sauce, use a spoon to place the sauce on your plate and dip the fish in the sauce with the cocktail fork • If it is a larger shrimp, spear it with your fork, take several bites and leave it on your fork • If shellfish is served in a bowl, hold the base of the glass and spear the shrimp from the liner, placing the shrimp on a plate and eating it with your fork • If you order clams, oysters or anything that comes in a shell, use the cocktail fork to the right side of your place setting • Use your fingers if fish is served in the shell by holding the shell with your fingers, spear the shellfish, twist the item and place it in your mouth • If the shellfish has no shell, simply eat with your fish fork • If you want lemon on the fish, spear the lemon with your cocktail fork, squeeze it with your other hand and ensure it does not squirt on others.

21. How to Eat Fish • The fish course may be served whole, steamed and with the head and tail on • The fish knife has a slightly different shape than traditional dinner knives • Hold a fish knife like a pencil • Remove the skin from the fish with the knife • Use the point on the fish knife to cut down the backbone of the fish, pull the skin away, cutoff the head and tail of the fish and move them to the side of the plate • Once the skin and tail is removed, you may put the knife down and eat with the fish fork only • Even if the fish is not served whole, a fish knife and fork may still be served • Use the fish fork and knife to remove any bones you find in the fish

22. How to Eat Soup • Your soup spoon is the outermost spoon to the right side of your • Dip the soup spoon from a 12 o’clock position on the plate and move the soup spoon across the edge of the plate • Wipe any spills off the bottom of the spoon before sipping it • Drink soup from the edge of the spoon that faces you, not from the point of the spoon • Between bites when using a soup plate, you may leave your soup spoon on the plate • Position yourself at the tables to be successful at eating the soup – use about two widths of your hand to measure between the edge of the table and your stomach • Maintain a straight spine while eating, leaning only slightly if necessary • Do not hunch over the bowl, overfill the soup spoon or rest your arms on the table • Leave the soup spoon in the soup plate when you are done eating that course • Eat soup served in a soup cup in the same way, but always place your soup spoon on the liner rather than on the saucer, which is too small • Leave the spoon on the liner between bites and when you are done with the soup as well

23. How to Eat Salad • The salad fork is to the left outside and is slightly smaller than the entrée fork • You have the option of eating salad with a fork alone or a knife and a fork • If using only the fork, use the side of the fork to cut different bites of the salad and put them in your mouth • If using both the fork and knife, cut one bite of the salad, placing the knife at the top of your plate between bites • Switch the fork to your right hand and eat the bite that you just cut; continue with this cutting and eating process until finished with the salad course • Whether you eat with the fork only, place the fork and knife parallel to each other in the 10-20 position on the plate when you are finished with the salad course

24. How to Eat an Entrée • Wait staff will always serve dishes from the left and clear them from the right and glassware is always filled and removed from the right. • Be aware of where the waiter is during the meal because there are times when you need to move slightly to accommodate a waiter • Use the Silence Service Code if you are still eating a course and leave the table, by placing your fork and knife crisscross with the fork pointed up on the plate, leaving space between the utensils • When eating a meat entrée, make one cut at a time and eat each piece before cutting the next piece and taking a bite • Between cutting the meat, place your knife on the upper edge of the plate • Remember to switch your fork to your right hand to eat and to the left hand while cutting with your knife • When finished with your meal, place your silverware parallel and close together on the plate to signal you are done eating

25. Dessert and Coffee • The dessert fork is used in the left hand as an anchor to hold various items in the dessert service in place, while the spoon scoops each bite • If you choose to use only a fork or a spoon, that is appropriate too • Between bites, place the fork and/or spoon on the plate • Coffee is usually offered during the dessert course • Turn your cup upside down if you do not want the beverage and pass your hand over the top of the cup, telling the server “No thank you” • If you want cream or sugar, ask the person who is closest to the item to pass them • If the items are closet to you, start circulating them around the table • If the serving piece has a handle, point the handle towards the person receiving it • Stir tea or coffee quietly if required with your spoon, placing the spoon on the liner • Tea may be brought in an individual serving pot with a teabag • Remove the teabag with your spoon and place in on the liner

26. Eating Difficult Foods • There are three ways to eat spaghetti without making a mess: • You can eat spaghetti with a fork, using the side of your fork to cut pieces of the spaghetti, then eat it • You can roll two or three strands of spaghetti on the end of your fork and eat it carefully • You can ask for a spaghetti spoon and use to roll the spaghetti in a controlled fashion • Use your fingers to eat finger-foods like corn on the cob, eating as neatly as possible • Take a few bites at a time, put the item down, eat some other items and then continue to eat that item • Hands should be placed in your lap to the napkin immediately after eating messy food • Wipe your fingers on your napkin after you have picked up finger-foods and clean off excess food from your hands

27. Practice: How to Eat a Course • Practice Activity Instructions: • I will name a course and you will practice eating it using the formal dining utensils and dishes in front of your place setting • I will circulate and provide you with feedback • We will continue this activity repeating the process through four courses that I will announce as we progress through the practice exercise

28. Best Practices from Module 1 • Remember the BMW code to locate your bread plate, meal and water glass • Use your utensils from the outside of the place setting inward with each course • Glassware is used closest to you first and working your way backward through the meal • Circulate bread and condiments to the right if the items are closest to you • When eating shellfish and fish, use the cocktail fork, fingers when appropriate and the fish knife and fish fork to skin and remove the fish’s bones, tail and head • Eat soup from the side of the spoon facing you, ensuring not to spill it • Cut items one piece at a time, then take a bite before cutting another piece • Switch your fork and knife from one hand to the other when cutting and eating • Place utensils in the 10-20 position to indicate you are still eating • Place utensils in the soup bowl, or parallel and close together on the plate for other courses to indicate you are finished eating • Always place items and condiments on the liner when not in use not on the tablecloth after they have been used

29. Break You have 15 minutes to take a break

31. Module 2 Formal Dining Etiquette on DiningBehavior and Conversation by Ellie Rest

32. Objectives for Module 2 • When you complete this module, you will be able to: • List different types of events where formal dining etiquette is used. • Explain what behaviors to avoid while at the dining table according to formal dining etiquette. • Describe basic principles of formal dining etiquette involving how to behave and interact with others while dining. • Identify what to do if there is a dining mishap according formal dining etiquette rules. • Generate a list of appropriate topics of conversation to engage in during various types of formal dining events. • Determine how to behave in various formal dining situations while applying formal dining etiquette.

33. Why is Dining Behavior Important? • Formal Dining Etiquette involves: • Using utensils, glassware and shared items appropriately. • Eating courses using the right tools and techniques. • But, it’s much more than that…it includes: • Avoiding dining behaviors that demonstrate poor etiquette. • Applying formal dining etiquette principles and techniques to various dining situations to exemplify etiquette protocol. • Interacting with dining attendees appropriately and professionally according to formal etiquette rules. • Overall, formal dining etiquette is exemplifying the character of a lady or gentleman, no matter what occurs during the event.

34. Formal Dining Etiquette Applies To: • Business meetings and company-sponsored events • Business interviews for a job or with potential clients • Celebrations, ceremonies, customs and services • Fund raisers and charity events • Awards, recognition and honorary events • Formal dinner parties with friends or family • Fine-dining restaurants

35. Video: Bad Dining Etiquette Show Video of Bad Etiquette at:http://www.monkeysee.com/play/2249-Basic-Dining-Etiquette-Table-Taboos

36. Dining Etiquette Behaviors to Avoid What behaviors did you see in the video that show poor dining etiquette? • NEVER: • Start a course before the entire table is served • Make comments that are sexual, derogatory or discriminatory • Call-out other attendees’ poor dining etiquette • Speak while chewing, eating or drinking • Drink alcohol in excess

37. Dining Etiquette Behaviors to Avoid • NEVER: • Answer or make phone calls or leave the volume up on your phone • Reach across place settings or eat off other attendees’ plates • Season your food before tasting it first • Switch name cards at an event that has pre-set seating arrangements • Take medication or discuss your health at the table

38. Video: Proper Formal Dining Etiquette Show Video of Appropriate Dining Etiquette: http://www.monkeysee.com/play/2246-Basic%2DDining%2DEtiquetteS

39. Formal Dining Etiquette Rules to Exemplify What were some best practices you observed in the video of formal dining etiquette? • Wait until the host sits down before taking your seat • Males should assist females in sitting and getting up from the table by pulling out the chair and pushing it in as the female sits • Immediately place your napkin on your lap once seated • Excuse yourself by quietly stating “excuse me” • Place your napkin on your chair if you leave the table • Signal to the server when he or she is nearby if you need something • Only stand during a toast or when excusing yourself from the table

40. Etiquette Rules to Exemplify (cont.) • If a shared item is placed in front of you, always circulate the item to your right at the even if you are not using the item • Ensure the item fully circulates around the table before taking a helping • Always pass the salt and pepper together as a pair • Cut food into small pieces that are easy to chew and take small bites • Order simple foods that are easy to eat and not messy • Keep pace with the table by ending your meal if everyone else is finished

41. How to Appropriately Deal with a Mishap • If you drop a utensil, never pick it up • If you spill food, leave it and don’t try to hide it • If you spill a drink, don’t try to clean it up; get a server’s attention who will clean up the spill • If you are served the wrong dish, wait until a server approaches and quietly explain the error • If you are allergic to a food, do not announce it at the table; politely ask the server if there is another option • If you spill on yourself or have something in your teeth, politely excuse yourself and clean up in the restroom

42. Activity: Dining Scenarios and Reactions Practice Activity: Determine How to Respond in Various Dining Scenarios Objective: Determine and write down how you would react to various formal dining scenarios applying formal dining etiquette principles. 10 minutes 10 minutes Scenario Worksheet THEN • Fill-in this Scenario Worksheet individually on how you would react to each scenario applying formal etiquette rules. • using formal dining etiquette. • Group discussion about how to react to different scenarios on the worksheet using formal dining etiquette.

43. Ways to Enhance Dining Conversation • Read and watch current new and events • Research the company, charity, clients or event’s purpose • Think of interesting, unique or intriguing stories that will entertain others • Ask open-ended questions and listen to the answers attentively • Respect other people’s opinions and perspectives • Thinking before speaking, using simple language and choosing your words carefully • Avoid interrupting other people • Don’t dominate the conversation • Avoid controversial topics

44. Activity: Dining Conversation Topics Practice Activity: What Topics of Conversation Are Appropriate? Objective: Adapt the rules of formal dining etiquette to various types of events and determine appropriate topics of conversation to discuss that demonstrate your knowledge, respect and engage others. : 5 Topics of Conversation Group’s Formal Dining Event • Each team presents for 5 minutes on their 5 topics • Teams include an explanation for topics • Repeat until all groups have presented • Assign 1 Event Card per table with different formal dining events • Teams have 10 minutes to discuss and flip chart 5 key topics of conversation for the event

45. Best Practices in Dining Conversation What were some best practices you discussed at your tables about having a conversation using formal dining etiquette? • Prepare for the event by researching charity, company, attendees and the event’s purpose and/or objectives • Respect other dining cultures and customs, using words carefully • Ask engaging questions to clarify responses and show understanding • Listen attentively and let people finish what they are saying • Participate in discussions and invite others to join the conversation • Make good eye contact when speaking to others • Make an effort to speak to everyone at the table

46. Key Takeaways from Module 2 • Formal dining etiquette: • Applies in various types of dining events • Involves eating techniques, behaviors, interactions and overall dining performance • Avoid behaviors that would be embarrassing and give poor impressions • Focus on why you are at the event, what makes a good impression and how dining etiquette rules can be adapted • Use formal dining etiquette principles to show professionalism, courtesy and graciousness. • Prepare for formal dining events by planning appropriate conversation topics that will engage others, demonstrate your listening and inquiry skills, and display confidence.

47. Break You have 15 minutes to take a break

49. Final Practice: Mock Formal Dinner Practice Activity: It’s Time to See Formal Dining Etiquette in Action! This is an informal individual assessment, so I can observe the application of your formal dining etiquette principles and techniques in practice. You will get feedback on your performance, but this is not a graded activity. Instructions: Sit at your assigned place card, using formal dining etiquette throughout this activity from when you sit to when I tell you it is over. Your place settings are set for a pre-fixed meal that will appear on the slide. Act as if you were attending a real formal dining event, using appropriate conversations, manners and techniques to “eat” each course. I will announce when a course starts at which point you should use your utensils appropriately, pretend to cut and eat the meal or eat the soup. Use as many techniques as you can as you go through the meal.

50. Final Practice: Mock Formal Dinner Instructions (cont.) Use appropriate dining behavior and conversation during the course and pretend to eat the course until I instruct you to stop. Once utensils are placed on the dishware to indicate you are finished with your course, I will tell you to move used dishware to the center of the table. Continue applying formal dining etiquette and “eating” each course per my instruction until the entire meal is completed. To make things interesting, I will randomly handout “Instruction Cards” to individuals who must follow the instructions on the card without revealing the card to anyone else. I will be observe how you and your tablemates respond to a situation. At the end of the meal, we will discuss best practices and I will provide you with feedback. Any questions?