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Coaching Parents to form their own children

Coaching Parents to form their own children

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Coaching Parents to form their own children

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  1. Whole Family Catechesis Coaching Parents to form their own children

  2. If you want to read more… • Coaching parents • A plan to have much higher expectations of our parents www.PastoralPlanning.com

  3. Goals in this presentation • How can we succeed with restored order of initiation sacraments? • A conversation about the role of parents • What should it be? • What doesn’t that always happen? • What resources are there to support a greater role for parents? www.PastoralPlanning.com

  4. Question What is the toughest aspect of this for you as a parish priest? www.PastoralPlanning.com

  5. Decree on Bishops, #44From Vatican II Called for the development of a Directory to guide Catechesis

  6. Already at that time • International Study Weeks were underway: • Nijmegen, 1959 • Eichstatt, 1960 • Bangkok, 1962 • Katigondo, 1964 • Manila, 1967 • Medellin, 1968 A real turning point Shifted from teaching “about religion” to helping folks have an encounter with Christ

  7. The study weeks led to… A wave of activity aimed at renewing catechesis!

  8. The church makes a shift • ‘71: Gen’l Catechetical Directory • ‘75: Evangelization in our Time • Evangelii Nuntiandi • ‘79: Catechesis Today • Catechesi Tradendae • ‘88: Catechumenate: RCIA • ‘92: Catechism of the Catholic Church • ‘97: Gen’l Directory for Catechesis

  9. Evangelization Today • 1975 • Pope Paul VI • Very concise, very readable • One of the most important documents published in the church since Vatican II!

  10. Evangelization Today • Catechesis in a ministry of the Word • “It initiates church members… • …into the meaning of Christian signs and symbols” • It assumes that folks have consciously accepted the proclamation of Christ • Conversion precedes catechesis! • Catechesis is Christo-centric

  11. Catechesis in our Time • 1979 • From Rome • Repeats the Christo-centric themes from EN • Focus on catechesis • for the whole community • by the whole community • Calls for it to be lifelong

  12. 1988 The church… Restored the Catechumenate… after almost 1700 years of decline! A fantastic, new, and powerful understanding of catechesis emerged!

  13. Followed, in 1992 by… The Catechism of the Catholic Church

  14. Which led to… The revision of the General Directory for CatechesisSigned by Pope John Paul II in 1997 Places the catechumenate in a central place and role Sets the stage for lifelong faith formation for all ages!

  15. Which led to… The General Directory for CatechesisIn Plain English

  16. Two Great Goals Help folks turn their hearts to Christ, discover Christ in their lives & love the Church… Evangelization Offer all members some level of instruction in the faith to deepen their conversion… Catechesis

  17. We know • More than 90% of adult Catholics • are active today • because their parents were active • only about 10% come to the church as adults • What does this tell us? • Parents play THE vital role! www.PastoralPlanning.com

  18. A timeline to help until 1960 Formation in the home Mass every week Feasts & Seasons Fasting & abstinence Confession Religious Ed: filled in a tiny gap www.PastoralPlanning.com

  19. A timeline to help until 1960 1960-70s The old “Catholic culture” ended Television & media Huge cultural shift in West At Mass less often Religious Ed: bigger gap to fill www.PastoralPlanning.com

  20. A timeline to help until 1960 1960-70s 1980-90s Religion classes at parish or in schools …with the parents mainly absent Participation in Sunday Mass on the decline Home life more secular & media oriented Religious Ed: HUGE gap to fill www.PastoralPlanning.com

  21. A timeline to help We have to help develop the role of parents. until 1960 1960-70s 1980-90s Today The numbers tell the truth The leading indicator “Will they have faith?” The role their parents played in their formation. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  22. Two groups of parents • #1 Deeply engaged • Active in parish life • At Mass every week • Household of faith • #2 On the edge of the parish • Show up when the kids need it • Very tentative about faith • Religion not central in life www.PastoralPlanning.com

  23. These two groups • The engaged – only about 16-20% • Still reluctant about formation for their own kids • Believes this is the job of the parish • The unengaged – nearly 80-85% • Some are hungry for more • But many are distracted so they don’t even feel the ache or longing… • These are the ones we must love the most www.PastoralPlanning.com

  24. The outcome of this: • The passing of faith • from Generation to Generation • has slowed down or stopped. • Parents tend to remain absent… • as long as we agree to do it for them. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  25. Many parents • Feel un-equipped • Don’t know their own faith • Haven’t got the fire of faith in their own hearts • So they drop their kid at the parish • And go shopping www.PastoralPlanning.com

  26. And we at the parish • We accept these children • And we do a pretty good job • But we will always be only the substitutes • Parents form their own kids, even if they don’t take an active role www.PastoralPlanning.com

  27. Add to that… • Restored order of Confirmation • The “carrot” will be gone • What will hold them? • If they stayed only for the carrot, • Our formation wasn’t working anyway • We aren’t losing very much

  28. What seems to work A combination of 3 things: • Focus on the goal of helping people know Christ • Coach parents to form their own kids • Participatory liturgy www.PastoralPlanning.com

  29. From the GDC #53 General Directory for Catechesis Conversion is first. It is the full and sincere adherence to the person of Christ and the decision to walk in his footsteps. Faith is a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, the making of oneself a disciple and it demands a permanent commitment to think, judge, and live like him. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  30. From the GDC #98 General Directory for Catechesis What we find at the heart of all catechesis is not a book or a theology system, but a person! The fundamental task of catechesis is to present Christ and everything in relation to him leading people to follow Christ in their lives. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  31. The Question of the Week Year B is available on the site now -- FREE • Breaking Open the Word • A process used in the RCIA • A two step process: • Re-proclaim part of the readings from Sunday Mass • Then ask first: • what touched me? • what word or phrase did I hear? • Followed by: • how does this affect my life?

  32. The witness of pastors • When you share what you believe • In simple but honest words • Others see belief as more possible for them • You may need to rehearse or practice this in front of a mirror or with each other.

  33. Living Christ retreats • Friday evening and Saturday all day • About 30 folks per retreat • Leaders and host team from parish • Working with your local team • Brendan, Chris et al. • Deepen communion with Christ • Grow in your ability to “die in Christ” www.PastoralPlanning.com

  34. Living Christ retreats • Use YOUR leaders • Do not make this complicated • Start with those in your parish who are already evangelized through Cursillo or other retreats • Provide follow up • Questions of the Week • Mini-Course gatherings or bible study • Be ready with follow up pastoral care

  35. Resources There are many resources to help you implement this at www.PastoralPlanning.com

  36. What seems to work A combination of 2 things: • Focus on the goal of helping people know Christ • Coach parents to form their own kids • Participatory liturgy www.PastoralPlanning.com

  37. From the GDC #226 General Directory for Catechesis The religious awakening which takes place in the home during childhood is, simply, irreplaceable. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  38. From the GDC #227 General Directory for Catechesis The local parish must, therefore, help parents by whatever means works best, to prepare for and assume their responsibility, of educating their children in the faith. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  39. Whole Family Catechesis • A new form of religious education • One where parents take the lead • With their children • If parents can’t… • Grandparents • Older youth or others from the parish The parents are the teachers. www.PastoralPlanning.com

  40. Coach your parents. • When you coach parents to form their own children • The parents also grow in their faith • You can’t just “send home a book” • Parents are intimidated • It’s not community based www.PastoralPlanning.com

  41. Coach

  42. To succeed • You need 3 things: • #1 Leadership & vision to see the whole picture of what it takes to grow up Catholic • #2 A Parent-friendly resource • #3 Motivate the parents to jump in www.PastoralPlanning.com

  43. Coaching Parents Baptism Prep for Confirmation and First Communion & Confirmation Secondary school years The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 Key years after the First Sacraments www.PastoralPlanning.com

  44. Growing up Catholic These live in a “Catholic” home Baptism prep materials from a Catholic publisher are usually enough The goal here is: Evangelization Instead of the usual three night prep process, a three night retreat-like experience • A dual approach • One avenue for parents who are active and engaged • Another for those who are on the edge of parish life and faith Baptism www.PastoralPlanning.com

  45. I Claim You for Christ • One example of a retreat-like process • Three sessions • Journey of Faith from their own baptism to the present moment • Dying in Christ – Reconciliation • Living in Community – Eucharist • A covenant about raising their kids in faith www.PastoralPlanning.com

  46. Here’s what it looks like • Found on the web site • An E-product www.PastoralPlanning.com

  47. Coaching Parents • Post-baptism care • Who stays in touch? • Again, a dual approach • More for those who are not engaged than for those who are Baptism The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 www.PastoralPlanning.com

  48. Entrusted to Your Care Who’s got time for this? • One example of a method for staying in touch • E-product • Reproducible • Letters, e-mail, calendars, invitations, & prayers • The key: Stay in touch • Relationship! www.PastoralPlanning.com

  49. Here’s what it looks like • Found on the web site • An E-product www.PastoralPlanning.com

  50. Coaching Parents • An ideal time to launch coaching • Parents expect to be more involved • Parents & kids attend together • They work as a family through the lesson. Baptism Prep for early Sacraments The years after Baptism …until about age 5 or 6 www.PastoralPlanning.com