6.0 Unbalanced The Trifecta

1. Unbalanced Divorce. Suicide. Cancer. + All Actions Have Consequences I have met many people over the years who can relate to any one of these three topics. The Trifecta 6.0 will talk about them all, from personal experience and beyond. The Donkey and Well “One day, a farmer’s donkey fell into a well. The frightened animal brayed loudly for hours while the farmer tried to figure out what he could do to get it out of there. After much pondering, the farmer thought that the animal was too old to continue working and that, since the well was dry and he had planned to cover it, it was not worth taking the donkey out. So he asked some neighbors for help. They all took their shovels and began to throw dirt to cover the well, with the donkey inside. The donkey, which is actually an exceptionally intelligent and problem-solving animal, began to realize what was happening, so it brayed even louder. Soon after, to everyone’s surprise, he calmed down and lay down, letting the dirt slowly cover him. However, after a few minutes of calm, the donkey opened its eyes and sat up, shaking off the dirt that covered its back and head. As the dirt fell, he got up again to get closer and closer to the mouth of the well. After a while, everyone saw how the donkey reached the top, jumped over the curb and trotted off full of renewed vitality”. Shake the Dirt Off! Bryan L. – The Cancer Warrior

2. Unbalanced Unbalanced /ŭn-băl′ənst/ Adjective Not in balance or in proper balance. Not evenly or properly distributed. "An unbalanced allotment of resources." Unbalance happens when we get physically, mentally or emotionally overloaded and we don’t do the right things to correct our ship. This concept of unbalance comes from years of addiction and the results that were reaped from those years. When the good goes away. What causes such great unbalances? Is it something we say, do, choices we make, What? Having cancer is like being inside a vacuum that keeps taking away that is good until we are staring a blank wall, that used to be beautiful. Who knew cancer could be so ugly. If there is any beauty in cancer it is the smiles of the Cancer Warriors who see a light as the end of the tunnel. Anyone in the cancer fight needs hope. How do we get from being unbalanced to re-balanced? Does that apply to mental, emotional, physical and spiritual or will taking care of one area apply to the others? I don’t know. Maybe we should break the re-balancing into mouse size bites and start in one area like our mind and find out how to do that one first. If that area is too much of challenge try another.

3. Don’t Look Back The Vine Says, “And let us run with perseverance the race, that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12.1 We Have Options! Let life teach us that experience is a lesson to be learned and not a location to live at. It has taken 5 years to dust the dirt off my heart and throw away the rear view mirror. At least with Divorce and Suicide. Living in the past pain will not help you or me move ahead. Consider yourself as a grapevine that needs pruning so you can bear better fruit. Loose the bad fruit so only the good fruit flourishes. I have not known a divorce to not have any residual pain or hangover effects. It takes great effort to clear our thoughts, emotions and lifestyle of the rear view mirror life we once had. Three Things! 1. Forgive the offense and leave it behind you. 2. Throw your rear view mirror in the trash and burn the trash. 3. Move forward only. But Bryan . . . . Yes I get you have strong feelings, kids, memories, lifestyle habits. I did too. Now they are all gone. MOVE ON. Perspective /pər-spĕk′tĭv/ Noun A view or vista. A mental view or outlook. The appearance of objects in depth as perceived by normal binocular vision. If all else fails get a fresh viewpoint.

4. Situational Ethics SE What we do becomes our history. Boy would I like to erase most of mine. Planning revenge against my x and kids was a very selfish idea. Remember this, a phone call prevented my death. When the shit hits the fan, call someone. Do not spin the wheel in your head trying to decide yes or no. I have seen people who chose self torture as their method of suicide and it did not work. Some people make it through life with soft pillows and butterflies by their side. Some of us do not. And the SE plan seems like a better option. A better option for who. The grieving family and friends that are left behind shaking their heads, what just happened. From Wikipedia Situational ethics or situation ethics takes into account only the particular context of an act when evaluating it ethically, rather than judging it only according to absolute moral standards. With the intent to have a fair basis for judgments or action, one looks to personal ideals of what is appropriate to guide them, rather than an unchanging universal code of conduct. The mind comes to the conclusion that there is no hope for beating this sickness, overcoming this situation or judgment again me from my family. I’ve seen and experienced this in my family. What happened to all three people? Two of them were successful at suicide. One was not. Where is the pain greater? The families of the two that died by their own choice or the one who lives with the pain of surviving? Moral, personal and ethical feelings are involved here. So tread carefully.

5. Bonus - “All Actions Have Consequences” Consequences /kŏn′sĭ-kwĕns″, -kwəns/ Plural Form of Consequence / Noun Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition. synonym: effect. A logical conclusion or inference. The following concept is from Season 21 Episode 3 of MidSomer Murders, where the murderer says “All Actions Have Consequences”, got my attention. So, The Cancer Warrior 6.0 is a collection of Actions and Consequences from the entire seven part series of the Cancer Warrior. Lets roll. Actions & Consequences You drink some coffee – Action. Coffee cup becomes empty – Consequence. Habits become so invisible that we only see what needs to happen, refill the cup, but we do not see are the actions that lead to the refill. The same goes with cancer sickness. You eat something – Action. You get sick to your stomach – Consequence. Personally many foods have been eliminated from my diet because the consequences were not worth it. Becoming aware of something is the battle. Once you have pinpointed the what caused the consequence the actions can change. Back to the definition for a moment. “Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition.” If the doctor tells us these are our options, then our actions are really choices or decisions we have to make and the consequence is the result of what we have selected. “The truth is... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.” Countee Cullen

6. The Money Gap & Cancer Warrior “If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” Anita Roddick Your Money Gap will be what you are not planning for - Like Cancer, By Bryan L. 1. Actions Two lessons I have learned. One, invest differently. Two, learn how to make hard decisions every week until all resources are spent. Consequences These two lessons are hard enough, then having to accept the responsibility for not planning better and then coping with the constant drain of non-insurance cancer expenses until a financial hole was dug with no end in sight has become the hardest of the learning experiences. 2. Actions My math education ended at 8th grade due to dyslexia. Fast forwarding I watched an Andrew Carnegie special on how he managed money and I follow that plan today. Consequences Moving forward to today, my investment portfolio has been reduced to basically one investment after the majority of my properties have been sold off to pay for non-insurance cancer expenses. The point is do not allow excuses to prevent you from achieving the impossible. And again my investment portfolio will come back to life at some point because of learning a skill on investing talents wisely. Who Has Influenced you?

7. The Bigger Money Gap & Cancer Warrior Does a Fly Bother You? Bryan L. The Third Staffer (Taken from Parable of the Talents) Actions What did the third staffer do with their money? That person not only wasted the opportunity to invest for future income but also wasted time. Wasting time is worse than wasting money. Money gain can be made up for money loss, but time cannot. Consequence The Parable of the Talents is even more about a judgment made by the third staffer. Not money, even though money is used to create the results. Judgments against the boss prevented the third staffer from prospering. Here’s the conversation. The third staffer - He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ If you want the right to judge some else then you have to accept their judgments against you. Actions The Story of the Filly - The Power of Being Broken. A Filly must be yoked with an oxen for a period of time to help learn to pace itself for the long haul. Consequence The point is if you are not willing to go through what is necessary (the breaking in period) to become a full power race horse, do not misguide yourself into believing you can shortcut the process. Short Cuts Do Not Win!

8. The Original Cancer Warrior My first business mentor said, "You are the average of, the five people you spend the most time with." Jim Rohn “The difference between living and dying becomes a very thin line, when the doctor asks the question, do you want to be revived? These words come from my 32 hour bleed out and life saving surgery. Bryan L. This mini e-book has been started, deleted and restarted three times. Its a tough one to write from a personal experience point of view, since I am still in my Cancer-BPH war with more surgeries to go. (as of 10/8/24) The quotes and stories that are written here have kept me going when I didn’t want to, as some of us are faced with. Whether you are just starting your journey, in mid stream, have a clean bill of health or your days are coming to an end – This mini e-book is for you. Actions “The difference between living and dying becomes a very thin line, when the doctor asks the question, do you want to be revived? I said no. These words come from my 32 hour bleed out and life saving surgery. Consequence I was told this was a high risk surgery. God or Angels must have intervened cause I woke up! Actions I calculated one day that I had either a test of some sort, surgery, procedure every month for the last 42 months. With the four surgeries in a 17 month period. If I had known 43 months ago what I’d have to go through to remain in game of life I would of graciously said no. Consequence I’m still a Cancer Warrior. Tired and wondering how much longer I can take this. I spend my time with some pretty awesome people. How about you?

9. Cancer Warrior 2.0 “Your mind is programmable – if you’re not programming your mind, someone else will program it for you.” Jeremy Hammond Actions “Do the difficult repeatedly.” Bryan L. Consequences I meet a lot of people with cancer and learn valuable insights on how to keep going. I also meet a lot of people to share my 32 hour bleed out and survival and that gets their attention to help make them aware of what other people are going through. Actions A time to reflect. Consequence Reflection - “Character is who you are after everything has been stripped away.” Bryan L. Things to Consider How do you get through when it seems impossible? You don’t stay in your own head. “Cancer is only going to be a chapter in your life, not the whole story” Joe Wasser "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” Cayla Mills “Today we fight. Tomorrow we fight. The day after, we fight. And if this disease plans on whipping us, it better bring a lunch, ’cause it’s gonna have a long day doing it.” Jim Beaver, Life’s That Way

10. Aftermath 3.0 “You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably, not even aware of the things they've taught me.” Scott Adams Actions “When the Tornado Stops the Damage Becomes Clear.” Bryan L. Consequence I was not expecting Aftermath 3.0. But after adding Soft Pillows and Butterflies to 2.0 I got thinking about how much Cancer and BPH Disease has personally cost me. There are times when a cancer warrior goes from storm to storm but wants some calm where they can rest for a bit and evaluate the damages. This is where the financial costs come in from many different aspects. As the battle rages on the Aftermath will continue to add up to unbearable prices financially, mentally and emotionally. Some times difficult choice are made and the results are, what they are. Aftermath /ăf′tər-măth″/ Noun A consequence, especially of a disaster or misfortune. A period of time following a disastrous event. A second growth or crop in the same season, as of grass after mowing. Aftermath always leaves a result – good – bad – indifferent. The questions becomes, what can you live with?

11. The Lost Chapters 4.0 “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. Napoleon Hill Actions “Being lost is temporary.” Bryan L. Consequence The Cancer Warrior was partly written a couple years ago and my notes were deleted because I did like the content. So as it stands The Lost Chapters 4.0 is the final in The Cancer Warrior Series unless some unforeseen miracle happens and “Recover 5.0” gets written. There is a scene at the end of Cast Away where Tom Hanks is standing in the middle of an intersection in Northern TX looking for the Angle Wing Welder. He looking at his map not sure which way to go and this old pickup pulls up and this beautiful woman asks him if he needs directions. She is the Angel Welder who gave Tom the idea in movie to take the broken part of the plastic outhouse and turn into a wing to get over the waves to escape the island. Tom was not “Lost” in the scene of being able to connect all the dots together, he was just mid-located in a part of TX that was unfamiliar to him. Maybe we have all the dots, were just mid-located temporarily. The question to myself is how do I get un-lost and stay connected to others for perspective, instead of allowing life events to dictate my view of where I am.

12. Fight to the Finish 5.0 “Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long after they have departed.” Jim Rohn Actions The Columbus Day Storm of 1962 sweeps over the coast range at 115 mph and destroys as much as it can in the hours that waiting for end of it to come. The Columbus Day storm of 1962 is considered to be the benchmark of extra- tropical wind storms. The storm ranks among the most intense to strike the region since at least 1948. The storm is a contender for the title of the most powerful extra-tropical cyclone recorded in the US in the 20th century; with respect to wind velocity. We all get storms. Some are more abrasive than others. Some storms are for a short period of time with definite results. And yet others storms mix with other storms and create a storm front, that seems overwhelming to get through. Consequence Get your coffee, boots, some snacks and love in your backpack cause this storm carries a heavy punch. Fight to The Finish 5.0 is dedicated to all the Cancer Warriors with an overwhelming storm front in their path. Together we win or loose. “Storms Always Pass.”

13. In Closing In the end who did you love and who loved you? That can carry a Cancer Warrior a long way. No matter how rough the story went, it’s important to have a great ending. LOVE WELL! With Respect to all Cancer Warriors, Bryan L. - One of many Cancer Warriors On LinkedIn Support this Cancer Warrior You can download the entire Cancer Warrior Eight Part Series Slide Share https://www.slideshare.net/BryanLong20 which includes - 1.0 The Money Gap & Cancer Warrior 2.0 The Bigger Money Gap & Cancer Warrior The Original Cancer Warrior 1.0 The Cancer Warrior 2.0 Aftermath 3.0 The Lost Chapters 4.0 Fight to the Finish 5.0 Unbalanced 6.0