Tips for Middle School Parents

1. Tips for Middle School Parents Forest Middle School Guidance Department Adapted from Middle School Parent Guidebook by Linda O’Brien, 2012, Woodburn Press

2. Tips for Middle School Parents • “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” • Ann Landers

3. Middle School Basics • Check the school website for information • School Calendar • Attendance Policies • School Rules/Code of Conduct • Extracurricular Activities • Teacher Webpages • Bedford County Public Schools Bullying Policy • Click here to go to BoardDocs • Click on the “Policies” tab • In the dropdown box labeled “Book”, select “BCPS Rules” • Select “J – Students” • Click on “JFD Bullying Prevention and Intervention”

4. Middle School Basics • Standardized Tests • All middle school students in Virginia take SOL tests • Most testing is done in May • FMS 6th Grade: Reading 6, Math 6, U.S. History II • FMS 7th Grade: Reading 7, Math 7 or Algebra I, Civics • FMS 8th Grade: Reading 8, Math 8 or Algebra I or Geometry, World History I • 8th graders also take a 2-part Writing test in March • Make sure your child is at school on test days, is well-rested, & eats breakfast • For high school credit courses, if you pass the class and the SOL test, you will receive a verified credit towards graduation

5. Help Your Child Succeed • Basic Supplies • Pens, pencils, paper, notebooks, agenda • Teachers will let you know of class-specific supplies • Contact the guidance department if you are in need of supplies • A Place to Study • Well-lit, Quiet, Comfortable • Stocked with supplies • Ample writing surface • Create a habit of doing homework at the same time and place every day

6. Help Your Child Succeed • Daily Attendance • Nothing can replace time in the classroom. • Look at all interims & report cards • Check school calendar for dates • Use rewards & consequences • Rewards are for achievements (e.g. improved behavior) • Consequences are for poor performance and/or behavior • Consequences work best when they are reasonable and logical • Make a point to recognize extra effort

7. Help Your Child Succeed • Organizational Skills • Use an agenda • Labeled folder/notebook/binder for each class • Put all papers in correct spot right away • Clean out locker & backpack every week • Help your child prioritize homework • Break large assignments into chunks • Get everything ready for the next day before going to bed

8. Help Your Child Succeed • Managing Homework • Determine the best time for your child to complete homework. • Use any free time at school to start on homework. • Homework is the child’s responsibility. • If your child is not doing his homework, ask him why. Then, come up with a plan to get the work done. The plan may involve asking the teacher for assistance.

9. Help Your Child Succeed • Encourage your child to become involved in school activities • Encourage independent problem solving • If your child has a question/problem, try to help him figure out how to take care of it on his own • Provide academic support • Offer assistance on assignments, but do not do the work for your child. • If your child is struggling in a class, contact her teacher and ask what you can do to help your child succeed.

10. Working With Your School • Show support and interest • Show your child that you support the teachers and administrators at your school. • Insist your child be in school every day. • Expect your child to work up to his potential. • Show an interest in what your child is studying. • Talk about the importance of getting a good education. • Expect your child to follow the school rules. • Attend parent programs and conferences. • Encourage your child to think about going to college.

11. Working With Your School • Communicate with your school • Do not hesitate to ask for information. • Contact your child’s counselor or an administrator if there is a situation that might affect your child’s attitude or performance (e.g. health problem, divorce, etc.). • Work with the school to resolve problems • It is important for students to learn how to succeed in subjects they may not enjoy. • Students must learn how to adapt to different teachers, expectations, and teaching styles. • If you feel you must intervene, contact your child’s teacher to discuss the problem.

12. Parent-Teacher Conferences • Making the most of conferences • Conferences allow parents to give and receive input • Make a list of any questions/concerns before you go • Consider bringing your child to the conference

13. Parent-Teacher Conferences • Discussion Topics • Homework – Is my child’s homework completed thoroughly, accurately, and on time? • Class Participation – Does my child ask questions, volunteer answers, & participate in discussions? • Organization – Does my child seem organized? Does he come to class prepared? • Academic Success – How is my child doing in this class? Is she working up to her potential? • Classroom Time Management – Does my child use class time wisely?

14. Parent-Teacher Conferences • Discussion Topics • Attendance – Is my child in class every day? Does he arrive on time? • Focus – Does my child pay attention in class? • Social Adjustment – Is my child respectful & courteous to teachers and classmates? Does my child appear to get along with other students? • Strengths & Weaknesses – What are my child’s strengths? What does my child need to work on? • Additional Comments – Do you have any suggestions for me or my child? What is the best way for me to contact you if I have a question or concern?

15. Tips for Middle School Parents • Changes • Physical • Reassure them that physical changes are normal • Teach them about appropriate personal hygiene • Emotional • Mood changes are normal in teens and pre-teens • You can help by providing encouragement, support, love, & a stable home environment

16. Tips for Middle School Parents • Changes • Intellectual • Ready to explore and learn • They can think more abstractly & can handle complex tasks • Help your child develop intellectually by including him in serious discussions, giving her opportunities to express her opinion, & showing respect for their ideas. • Social • Middle schoolers are susceptible to peer pressure and wanting to fit in • Activities with family provide a sense of security

17. Tips for Middle School Parents • Be aware & informed • Know where your child is going and with whom • Talk to their friends’ parents • Get to know your child’s friends • Pay attention to your child’s music, TV, and online habits • Keep computers with internet access in common areas • Talk to your child about internet safety – children should never give out personal information or agree to meet someone they’ve met online • Talk to your child about the dangers of alcohol, drugs, & smoking

18. Tips for Middle School Parents • Communicate with your child • Timing is important – look for times when they seem most open to conversation • Tell them what you want them to do (e.g. “Please put your book away” instead of “Don’t leave your book out”) • Ask open-ended questions • Be specific in communications (e.g. “Be home by 8:00” instead of “Be home early”) • Stay calm when your child “tests the waters” • Don’t be afraid to apologize or admit you were wrong • Recognize nonverbal communication • You don’t have to fix every problem – your child may just want someone to listen

19. Tips for Middle School Parents • Teach your child responsibility • Increased independence brings increased responsibility • Base your child’s freedom on how responsible he acts • Talk to your child about the importance of making good choices • Offer yourself as an excuse for your child to get out of a difficult situation (e.g. “My mom just texted me – I have to go home now” or “My dad always knows when I do something wrong”)

20. Tips for Middle School Parents • Teach your child responsibility • Teach your child how to problem solve & compromise • Teach your child basic social behaviors • Teach financial responsibility through an allowance and/or a savings account • Allow safe rebellion; pick your battles • Be a good role model – children learn their behaviors & attitudes from their parents more than anyone else

21. Tips for Middle School Parents • Tips for effective consequences • Understanding that there are consequences for poor choices is part of growing up • Use logical consequences when possible • Don’t take away a positive activity (e.g. sports) as a consequence • Make consequences specific and for a set period of time • Consequences do not have to be immediate – take time to think; tell your child you will let him know the consequences later

22. Parents of Athletes • Be involved • Attend meetings • Get to know your child’s coach • Demonstrate good sportsmanship • Set a good example • Support coaches and players • Support your athlete • Be positive • Encourage your child to talk to the coach if there are any problems

23. Career & Education Options • Middle school is not too early to start thinking about career options! • Identify abilities & interests • Look at strengths, talents, interests, & values • There are many talents that aren’t measured in school, such as leadership & creativity • Help your child see that personality traits can be valuable • Look for after-school/summer activities that support your child’s interests

24. Career & Education Options • Explore career options • Explore careers online or by talking to people in various careers • Virginia Career VIEW is a great place to start! • Interest, Skills, & Values Assessments • Statistics for careers in Virginia • Career Aisle has numerous videos about career options • Click on “Students” • Click on “Middle School” • Click on any of the 16 career clusters to view the videos • Click here for sample video: Trauma Surgeon • Mapping Your Future has information about careers, college, and financial aid

25. Career & Education Options • Educational Options • Most careers require some form of education/training after high school. • Encourage your child to continue his education right after high school – it is easier to manage if done before going to work full time and/or starting a family. • Lifetime earnings increase along with amount of education “The College Payoff,” Center on Education and the Workforce, Georgetown University, 2011

26. Educational Options • High School Career & Technical Program • Hands-on training while in high school • Students typically have the skills needed to get a job upon graduation • Bedford Science & Technology Center (BSTC) • 15 programs available for juniors and seniors • Most programs take 2 years to complete • Students attend BSTC ½ day & base high school ½ day • Students must have good attendance • Students apply to BSTC during their sophomore year

27. Educational Options • Four-Year College • Wide range of options for majors • Some schools specialize in particular fields • Students often live on campus • Costs vary by college • Students may apply for financial aid • Many schools offer work study, a program in which students work on campus to earn money (often part of the financial aid package) • Numerous extracurricular activities • Students should prepare themselves for college-level work by taking rigorous courses in high school • A four-year degree is required for many careers

28. Educational Options • Community College • State-supported schools that are typically more affordable than four-year institutions • Can take career-oriented courses toward a certificate and/or Associate’s degree • Can take 2 years of general courses before transferring to a four-year college • Students who graduate from one of Virginia’s 23 community colleges with an Associate’s degree & certain GPA are guaranteed admission to over 20 colleges in Virginia. (Click here for a list)

29. Educational Options • Career/Trade School • Short-term training programs (up to 2 years) • Cost varies by school • Take time to research the school’s accreditation • Examples: Cosmetology, Welding, Mechanics • Apprenticeship • Hands-on training for a specific field • Learn through both classes and on-the-job training • May be run by local community college • Work done while apprentice may not be paid since you are still learning – check with specific program

30. Joining the Military • Military • Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, Navy • Active duty are full-time soldiers & sailors • Reserves work civilian jobs & are called to duty as needed • Trained to serve and protect our country • There are requirements to enlist, including having a high school diploma and passing the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude (ASVAB) test • Salary for work & free job training while enlisted • Often will travel for training; there is possibility of deployment overseas • There is a lot of information about joining and being a member of the armed forces at www.military.com

31. Final Tip • If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact the school • For concerns about a specific class, contact that teacher directly via phone or email • For general concerns or questions, you may contact any of your child’s teachers or your child’s counselor • FMS Phone: 434-525-6630 • FMS Website: http://bedfordfms.sharpschool.net/home • Teacher email addresses available on FMS website