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BEING ASSERTIVE

whilst:. preserving our own and others rights acting ethically. BEING ASSERTIVE. Adopting behaviour that increases the likelihood of achieving our goal(s). Chosen behaviour. DIFFICULT SITUATIONS. CONFLICT. Unthinking reaction. RESPONSE. OUTCOME. UNTHINKING REACTIONS. OUR PERSONALITY

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BEING ASSERTIVE

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  1. whilst: • preserving our own and others rights • acting ethically. BEING ASSERTIVE Adopting behaviour that increases the likelihood of achieving our goal(s)

  2. Chosen behaviour DIFFICULT SITUATIONS CONFLICT Unthinking reaction RESPONSE OUTCOME

  3. UNTHINKING REACTIONS • OUR PERSONALITY • OUR EMOTIONS • OUR CONFIDENCE • OUR CULTURE AND BACKGROUND • OUR HEALTH • PERSONAL CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE BASED ON:

  4. CHOSEN BEHAVIOUR • WHAT WE WANT TO ACHIEVE • RESPECT FOR OUR AND OTHERS RIGHTS • OUR FEELINGS • EMPATHY • UNDERSTANDING THE FACTS • SEEKING SOLUTIONS NOT BLAME • BUILDING LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS MAY BE BASED ON:

  5. RIGHTS • NOT TO BE THREATENED OR DEMEANED • TO ASK FOR WHAT WE WANT • TO MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS (AND TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES) • TO HAVE FEELINGS AND OPINIONS, AND TO EXPRESS THEM APPROPRIATELY • TO MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM • TO BE OURSELVES

  6. EFFECTS OF NON-ASSERTIVENESS PERSONAL COSTS • Frustration, anxiety and stress. • Poor self esteem. EFFECTS ON SERVICE • Standards compromised. • Inefficiency and unnecessary costs. TEAM COSTS • Unresolved conflict. • Individuals taking advantage. • Unacceptable conduct.

  7. MISSED GOALS LACK OF CONFIDENCE DAMAGED SELF ESTEEM & CREDIBILITY CYCLE OF FAILURE NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR

  8. KEY RULES • Control emotions. • Count to ten. • Express your emotions (appropriately). • Know what you want to achieve. • Short term objective(s). • Longer term goals.

  9. BEHAVIOUR BREEDS BEHAVIOUR BEHAVIOUR Behaviour = what we say and do. Providing we are dealing with rational people!

  10. KEY RULES • Control emotions. • Know what you want to achieve. • Understand the issues. • Focus on facts, not assumptions or opinions. • Listen. • Empathise (and show you do).

  11. USING EMPATHY 1. Active listening. 2. Try and see the issues from the other’s perspective. 3. Show you have listened and understood.

  12. KEY RULES • Control emotions. • Know what you want to achieve. • Understand the issues. • Be specific about what you want. • What, when, who.

  13. KEY RULES • Control emotions. • Know what you want to achieve. • Understand the issues. • Be specific about what you want. • Show personal commitment and responsibility. • Be positive, seek solutions. • Use the minimum amount of assertiveness.

  14. GOALS ACHIEVED SELF ESTEEM & CREDIBILITY ENHANCED CYCLE OF SUCCESS ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR CONFIDENT

  15. SUMMARY • Engage the brain - choose appropriate behaviour. • Stand up for your rights, respect others. • Know what you want to achieve. • Consider the ‘big picture’. • Speak up, say what you want - and why. • Be positive. • Use the minimum amount of assertiveness.

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