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Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse. Toward Psychological and Pastoral Understanding. Stolen Childhood. Understanding Sexual Abuse. Sexual Abuse—Statistics. 1 in 3 females by age 18 1 in 5 males 50% pre-pubertal 6 of 10 rapes are adolescent victims 90% of offenders are familiar to victim

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Sexual Abuse

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  1. Sexual Abuse Toward Psychological and Pastoral Understanding

  2. Stolen Childhood Understanding Sexual Abuse

  3. Sexual Abuse—Statistics • 1 in 3 females by age 18 • 1 in 5 males • 50% pre-pubertal • 6 of 10 rapes are adolescent victims • 90% of offenders are familiar to victim • 80% of offenders/spouses are chemically dependent

  4. Sexual Abuse—Dimensions • Physical: inappropriate touching • Verbal: degrading, shaming, or evocative comments. • Visual: exposing body parts, inappropriate nudity, etc. • Psychological/spiritual: various forms of harassment or misuse of power.

  5. Abuse—Important Distinctions • Minors: Any sexual contact/behavior between an adult and a minor. • Adults: Any sexual contact/behavior with an adult who is… • Non-aware (sexual malpractice) • Non-consenting (sexual assault)

  6. Various Terms • Incest • Stranger abuse • Sexual assault • Child molesting • Pedophilia • Sexual malpractice (adults)

  7. Universal Issues • Why me? • Maybe I asked for it… • It only happened once, a few times…

  8. Universal Issues • It wasn’t penetration; I shouldn’t complain… • Maybe I’m making this up; I’m crazy… • It was wrong, but I still care for him/her.

  9. Clusters of Symptoms • Chronic depression • Low self-esteem • Somatic disorders • Relational difficulties • Suicidal thoughts/attempts • Eating disorders • Phobias, occluded memories, dissociation • Substance abuse

  10. Abuse by a Stranger • The shock & itsimmediate aftermath. • Being able to tell the story. • Getting immediate support & protection.

  11. Abuse by a Trusted Other • Confusion & ambivalence. • Betrayal of trust. • Secrecy and fear. • Inability to tell someone or get protection.

  12. An Aftermath of Confusions • Difficulty Interpreting Emotional Cues • Shame Based Self-Identity • Repetition Compulsion • Dissociation (‘leaving myself’) • Sexualizing Behavior/Intentions • Dichotomizing Reactions

  13. Severity of Symptoms: Determinants • Type, frequency, severity of abuse. • Presence of physical violence or threats. • Relationship of abuser to victim. • Interpretation given by child. • Presence of comfort in environment. • Secrecy.

  14. Effects on Adult Survivors I am ambivalent: • Close—Distant • Aroused—Unfeeling • Attracted—Repulsed • Involved—Detached • Trusted—Suspicious • Loved—Shamed • Exposed—Guarded

  15. Healing the Pain • Pastoral & Personal Responses to Sexual Abuse

  16. 3 Stages of Healing • Protecting the Victim. • Supporting the Survivor. • Affirming the Thriver.

  17. 1—Protecting the Victim • Breaking the secret, telling the story. • Identifying ‘triggers’ & developing messages of courage. • First steps in grieving and re-imaging self.

  18. 2—Supporting the Survivor • Accessing healthy anger. • Identifying & restructuring core-life messages. • Addressing family & relational issues

  19. 3—Affirming the Thriver • From survival patterns to adult growth. • Integrating trauma with other life experience. • Spirituality of healing: forgiveness & self-protection.

  20. What About Forgiveness? • Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation • Forgiveness is not condoning or forgetting • Beyond forgiveness to justice making

  21. Signs of Healing • Power of triggers diminishes • Intrusive thoughts decrease

  22. Signs of Healing • Abuse is no longer the “frame of reference” for relationships • Reduced need to talk about abuse

  23. Communities of Healing • Supporting families and communities of welcome and safety.

  24. Toward A Pastoral Response • Awareness • Support • Safety

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