Wild At Heart Chapter 6

1. Wild At Heart Chapter 6 • The Father’s Voice • John’s Oregon story 98-99 • “The fact that he (Pop) believed (in me) made me believe it too. • Most of our life changing moments are realized as such later.

2. Desperate for Initiation • A man needs to know his name. He needs to know he has what it takes. • Not just knowledge of… • A deep knowing, the kind that comes when you have been there entered in, experienced it first hand in an unforgettable way. • Movie clip • This deep heart knowledge comes only through a process of initiation.

3. You have to know where you have come from; you have to have faced a series of trials that test you; you have to have taken a journey; and you have to have faced your enemy. • What does the church call a man to be? • Moral • This is pitifully insufficient. Morality is a good thing, but morality is never the point. • General Lee story 102 • Where do we go for our answers? to whom can we turn? To a most surprising source.

4. How God Initiates a Man102 • Gordon Dalby “The healing of the masculine soul” Despite a man’s past and the failures of his own father to initiate him, God could take him on that journey. • John’s reaction “Will you let me initiate you?” • “Who can give a man his this, his own name?” George Macdonald asks • “God alone. For no one but God sees what the man is”

5. Revelation 2:17 “…I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.” • Not “seagull” or “mama’s boy” • The new name is not really new at all when you understand that it is your true name, the one that belongs to you. • Psalm 139 • This passage makes it clear that we were personally uniquely planned and created, in our mother’s womb by God Himself.

6. He had someone in mind and that someone has a name. • This someone has also been under gone a terrible assault, and yet God remain committed to the realization of that same someone. • The history of a man’s realationship with God is the story of how God calls him out, takes him on a journey, and gives him his true name. • Adam • Abram-Abraham • Jacob-Israel • Saul-Paul

7. Even if your father did his job, he can only take you partway. There comes a time when you have to leave all that is familiar, and go on into the unknown with God. • Initiation involves a journey and a series of tests, through which we discover our true name and our place in the story. • Intitiation takes place in the field where simple lessons turn into larger lessons about life and self and God. • Instead of asking “God why did you let this happen to me?” or “why won’t you just… help me succeed, with my kids, fix my marriage?”

8. Ask the questions that take you into the journey of initiation with God. • “What are you trying to teach me here? • What issues in my heart are you trying to raise through this? • What is it you want me to see? • What are you asking me to let go of?” • God has been trying to initiate you for a long time. What is in the way is how you’ve mishandled your wound and the life you have constructed as a result.

9. Contempt for the Wound 105 • “Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound that hurts is shameful” “A wound that stops you from continuing to play is a girlish wound. He who is truly a man keeps walking, dragging his guts behind” Robert Bly • Our wound is an immense source of shame • Look at our movies • Most men minimize their wound “it’s not a big deal. Lots of people get hurt when they are young. I’m okay”.

10. Psalm 109:22 King David “For I am poor and needy, my heart is wounded within me” • Or they admit it happened , but deny it is a wound because they deserved it. They embrace their wound. • The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it. • God is fiercely committed to you and the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that can not heal. A wound you have embraced cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved cannot heal.

11. “The spiritual life begins with the acceptance of our wounded self” Brennan Manning • most men deny their wound-deny that it happened, deny that it hurt, certainly denying that it’s shaped the way they live today • God’s initiation will take us into the the very place we have been wounded.

12. Thwarting the False Self 107 • From the place of our woundedness we construct a false self. We find a few gifts that work for us and we try to live off of them. • Stuart’s story 107 • Brennan Manning story 107 • The imposter is our plan for salvation • In order to initiate us God must thwart our plan for salvation, he shatters the false self.

13. Our plan for redemption is hard to let go of, it clings to our heart like an octopus. • Brad’s story and letter 107-108 • Why would God do something so cruel? Why wound He do something so terrible as to wound us in the place of our deepest wound? • Luke 9:24 page 108 • God thwarts the false self and takes a man into his wound, so that He can heal it and begin to release the true self. • “The Natural” • This is the critical moment in a man’s life, when all he has counted on comes crashing down, when his golden bat breaks into pieces.

14. His investments fail, his company lets him go, his church fires him, his wife walks out, he is leveled by illness… • Will he stay in the game? Will he shrink back into the dugout? Will he scramble to try to put things back together. • The true test of a man actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he’s used all is life. • The real journey begins when the false self fails. • Roy Hobbs revisited

15. Stuart (left), Alex’s (died) stories revisited 110 • “In the middle of the road of my life, I awoke in a dark wood, where the true way was wholly lost” Dante • John’s story revisited 110 • This is a very dangerous moment, when God seems set against everything that has meant life for us: Satan spies his opportunity, and leaps to accuse God in our hearts • God is angry with you. • He’s disappointed with you • If He loved you He would make things smoother • He’s not out for your best , you know.

16. The enemy always tempts us back towards control, to recover and rebuild the false self. • We must remember it is out of love that God thwarts our imposter • 5 But you have forgotten that the Scriptures say to God's children, "When the Lord punishes you,  don't make light of it, and when he corrects you, don't be discouraged. 6 The Lord corrects the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own." Hebrews 12:5-6 (CEV) • We must be saved from what really destroys us • Brad, Stuart, Alex, John page 112 • We need to simply accept the invitation to leave all that we’ve relied on and venture out with God

17. We can chose to do it ourselves or we can wait on God to bring it all down. • If you have no clue as to what your false self maybe, then a starting point would be to ask those around you… • What is my effect on you? • What am I like to live/work with? • What don’t you feel free to bring up with me? • If you… 112 • Losing the false self is painful, even though it is a mask, it’s one we have worn for years and losing it can feel like losing a close friend.

18. Underneath the mask is all the hurt and fear we have been running from, hiding from. • “Steel bars” Andy Gullahorn 113

19. Walking away from the woman 113 • No, do not leave your wife • Stop looking to her to validate you • Stop trying to make her come through for you • Stop trying to get your answer from her • Passive men and violent men 113-114 • A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman • He needs a mission • A life purpose • He needs to know his name • Only then is he fit for the a woman. For only then does he have something to invite her into

20. The masuline journey takes a man away from the woman, in order that he may come back to her with his question answered • A man does not go to a woman to get his strength, he goes to her to offer it. • What are we seeking from the golden haired woman? • What ache are we trying to fill with her? • Mercy, comfort, beauty, ….. • God • What we are looking for is God • At our fall Eve took the place of God in a man’s life.

21. Adam was not decieved by the serpent, did you know that? • And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 1 Timothy 2:14 (NIV) • Adam Chose Eve over God 116 • If not why do we worship her with art, poetry, music, drama… • She is the pinacle of creation, the very embodiment of God’s beauty and mystery and tenderness and allure. • When we long for her we long for God

22. You will be compelled to return to this familiar ground when you feel lonely, beat up, or longing for comfort in some way. This will intensify the closer you come to your wound. This pull towards temporary comforters may seem overwhelming. • But if this is the water you are truly thirsty for, then why do you remain thirsty after you have had a drink? • Because it is the wrong well. • We must reverse Adam’s choice, we must chose God over Eve. We must take our ache to Him. • For only in God will we find the healing of our wound