Helicopter Parents: The Advisor’s Role Christine Harrington Ph.D. September 25, 2006

1. Helicopter Parents: The Advisor’s Role Christine Harrington Ph.D. September 25, 2006

2. Helicopter Parents… • Hover, surveying the area for threats or perceived threats that may block son or daughter from success and are ready to land whenever necessary, often right on campus in your office! • Term coined by Strauss and Howe (Millenials Go to College: Strategies for a New Generation on Campus)

3. Why hover? • Technology (cell phones, e-mail) make it easier for increased contact • Parent involvement has been very valued • Disability services often shape good parent advocacy skills • Financial motives (college is more expensive so failure comes at a higher price tag)

4. Developmental considerations… • Identity vs. confusion (Who am I? -Erikson) • Autonomy/Independence (Is he or she ready to function independently?) • Parent-child relationships are re-defined during the college years • Commuting to school vs. living on campus

5. The Goal… • Both parent and college advisor want the student to take a road to success!

6. College Independence Choices Responsibilities Consequences Mistakes as learning opportunities Parents Parent involvement and help Prevent mistakes Mistakes are seen as painful and not desired When paths collide…

7. What colleges are doing… • Dual orientation programs for parents (ex. Northeastern University) • Separate tours for parents and students • Virtual classrooms for parents (ex. Arizona State University) • Designated staff person to respond to parent contact

8. The Positive Side of Hovering… • Concerned, caring parent (good support person) • Supportive of educational goals (financially and emotionally) • The Advisor’s ally (Yeah!) • Remember, the parent often plays a large role in enrollment, retention and graduation

9. The Negative Side of Hovering… • Loss of opportunity to build confidence around problem-solving and decision making skills • Increased pressure and anxiety for student and parent • College resources being directed toward parents takes away from students

10. Strategies… • Empathy • Communication (verbal and non-verbal) • Boundaries • Remember each situation must be dealt with on a case by case basis!

11. Empathy… • Seeing and experiencing the situation from the other person’s perspective is very powerful and productive • Parent involvement can be better understood with empathy • Connect with parent’s feelings through validation (not necessarily agreement)

12. Communication… • Direct questions to student first, ask for parent input as appropriate • Eye contact focused primarily on student with recognition of parent presence • Positively reinforce support provided by parent and offer guidance on how parents can be most helpful • Encourage problem-solving by student

13. Boundaries… • Consider meeting with student alone • Offer to meet with parent and student together at end of meeting • Clearly define roles and information that will and will not be shared (FERPA) in supportive not alienating way

14. Cultural considerations… • Recognize that not all cultures value independence and individual decision making • Helicopter spouses or other family members?

15. Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) considerations... • Understanding privacy rights of student • Responding to parents effectively without violating FERPA rights of student

16. On-campus supports… • Other academic advisors and faculty members • Department of Counseling and Career Services • Dean of Student Development • Campus Police

17. Middlesex County College Vision Statement Middlesex County College puts learning first and measures its success only by the success of its students. All members of the college community contribute to student success.