Balancing Personal Growth and Responsibility

1. Balancing Personal Growth and Responsibility

2. President Benson said that “men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, and pour out peace” (“Jesus Christ, Gifts and Expectations,” First Presidency Christmas Devotional, 7 December 1986).

3. MATURITY WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE MATURE? Elder Marvin J. Ashton said: “Personal conduct is the only true measure of maturity” (Ensign, May 1987, 65). In other words, it isn’t our age, or what we say or think or feel that are the true measures of our maturity. It is our actions, our conduct, what we do. Many prophets have spoken on the type of conduct evident in a mature person.

4. President Marion G. Romney said that a mature person is independent and self-reliant (Ensign, May 1981, 90). President Romney further stated that “Independence and self-reliance are keys to man’s spiritual growth…Man cannot be an agent unto himself if he is not self-reliant…If we increase our dependence, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act” (Marion G. Romney, “The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance,” Ensign, Mar 2009, 61–65).

5. Elder Boyd K. Packer said that if we are too emotionally and spiritually dependent on others, we will “lose the power of individual revelation” (Ensign, May 1978, 92). We then tend to look to others to solve our problems, answer our questions, or receive revelation for us. This can be especially dangerous if we look to those who have no stewardship or keys over us, because they are not entitled to revelation in our behalf.

6. Elder James E. Faust said that a mature person is “free from drugs that addict, habits that bind… and personal debt [that enslaves]…” (Ensign, May 1986, 21). Certainly one who has an addiction is not independent. They have has lost much of their freedom to choose. Bad habits bind or control us. They can control our thoughts, our time, and our money.

7. Elder Marion D. Hanks said that a mature person “truly cares about others, is considerate, kind and responsible” (C.R., Oct. 1967, 59). Elder ElRay L. Christiansen said that a mature person “can maintain composure when despitefully used and persecuted…” (C.R., Oct. 1966, 127). They control their tongue and their temper. They stay under control.

8. Elder Neal Maxwell said that a mature person has “the capacity to defer gratification” (Ensign, May 1985, 72). We postpone our gratification and pleasure of the moment for the joy and happiness of the future. This can also be seen in the habit of procrastination. Procrastination is evidence of our inability to defer gratification. We seek to do we want we want to do instead of what we should do.

9. Elder Derek A. Cuthbert suggested that a mature person is, among other things, a leader, one who is accountable and dependable” (Ensign, Nov. 1982, 54).

10. President Benson said that this one verse (Luke 2:52) “covers everything – physical fitness, mental [or intellectual fitness], social fitness, emotional fitness, and spiritual fitness” (So Shall Ye Reap, 140; TETB, 555-56).

11. AM I MATURE ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED? LUKE 2:52 And Jesus increased in: Wisdom = mind and understanding Stature = physical Favor with God = spiritual Favor with Man = social

12. Assessing My Personal Maturity A person may be mature in one area, yet immature in another. A good question to ask ourselves is: “HOW MATURE IN EACH AREA SHOULD A PERSON BE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED?”

13. Wisdom • I DEMONSTRATE GOOD JUDGMENT. In D&C 46:17 it says: “And again, verily I say unto you, to some is given, by the Spirit of God, the Word of Wisdom.” Elder Dallin Oaks said, “the spiritual gift referred to as the ‘word of wisdom’ has been explained as the wise application of knowledge. I would call this judgment” (“Spiritual Gifts,” Ensign, Sept. 1986, 69).

14. 2. My efforts in school demonstrate that I am serious about preparing for a career and acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to provide and care adequately for a family. 3. My actions at home (or apartment) show that I have the knowledge necessary to manage a household, including such skills as cooking, cleaning, creating and following a budget, home repair and maintenance.

15. 4. I have a clear understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. The Book of Mormon teaches that truth is knowledge of things as they really are (Jacob 4:13). Can you see yourself as you really are, giving credit where due and acknowledging weakness? 5. My thoughts are clean and pure, free of the addiction of pornography.

16. Physical Maturity 1. I exercise daily and follow principles of good nutrition. 2. I am obedient to the Word of Wisdom, free from the use of addictive substances, such as alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. 3. I follow the Lord’s counsel in D&C 88:124. “Cease to sleep longer than is needful, retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.”

17. 4. I live the law of chastity. 5. I am modest in my dress and speech.

18. Spiritual Maturity 1. My actions show that I have a firm testimony of the gospel. 2. I keep God’s commandments and obey the counsel of the leaders of the Church. 3. My actions show that I put the will of God ahead of my own. 4. When I sin, I repent quickly. Have there been any sins of misdeeds in my life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?

19. 5. My daily actions show a consistent pattern of personal prayer and scripture study. 6. I keep the covenants I have made and attend all my meetings. 7. I am willing to accept callings in the church and to serve when needed. 8. I am a full-tithe payer. 9. I am willing to give of my time, talents, and material means to help others. 10. My actions show that I am willing to make sacrifices to help others.

20. 11. I am teachable, willing to change when necessary. 12. I am honest in my dealings with my fellowmen. 13. I am quick to express gratitude to God and others.

21. A mission adds maturity. Two years make a tremendous difference in the life a young man. He goes out a boy and comes back a man. He goes out immature, he comes back mature and strong, gracious, a worker and willing to serve. He goes back to college in most cases and there he will make higher grades than he ever made before, because he has purpose in his life” (TSWK, 590).

22. Elder A. Theodore Tuttle said: “While a mission does not guarantee a happy and successful marriage, it stabilizes many things in your life that affects your marriage. Growing to maturity in the mission field brings a better marriage partner to both sides of the altar” (Ensign, Nov. 1974, 72). The average missionary will spend over 1,500 hours in gospel study and 7,000 hours in service. “If they will serve the Lord for 2 years or eighteen months, they will serve you and your family for eternity!”

23. 14. (For males): My actions show that I am ready to lead out on such things as church attendance, temple attendance, couple and family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening and accepting and magnifying callings. (For females): My actions show that I am ready to assist my husband in establishing the spiritual climate in our home through church attendance, temple attendance, couple and family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening and accepting and magnifying callings.

24. Social Maturity 1. I make friends easily. 2. I am a good friend to others. 3. I am willing to listen and consider other points of view or approaches. 4. In my relationships with others, I tend to be cooperative rather than competitive. 5. I am a good listener. 6. I can express my feelings, ideas, and opinions without offending. 7. I invite others to express their feelings, ideas and opinions.

25. 8. I am slow to criticize and quick to praise others. 9. I avoid gossiping and backbiting. 10. I can effectively resolve conflict when it arises. 11. I enjoy doing a variety of things and have developed a variety of talents. 12. I am willing to do what someone else wants to do even when I am not good at it or interested in it. 13. I am positive and optimistic even in negative situations.

26. 14. I look for and draw out the good in others. 15. I feel genuinely happy for the successes of others rather than becoming jealous.

27. 16. I handle stress, disappointment, and rejection well. 17. I am in control of my temper. 18. I am slow to take offense and quick to forgive those who offend me. 19. I am able to put the needs of others ahead of my own wants. 20. I manage my time well and am punctual. 21. I can get myself to do the things that need to be done when they need to be done.

28. 22. I can postpone the gratification and pleasure of the moment for the joy and happiness of the future. 23. I am responsible and dependant. 24. I am punctual. 25. I am able to get close to others and let others get close to me.