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Love

Love. Chapter 5. “All You Need is Love”-Lennon. Love, both as an emotion and a behavior, is essential to human survival.

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Love

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  1. Love Chapter 5

  2. “All You Need is Love”-Lennon • Love, both as an emotion and a behavior, is essential to human survival. • The family is usually our first form of love; it provides not only the necessary physical things to get by, but it also provides the necessary emotional support we need to grow up.

  3. Love Styles • Ludus • Views love as a game, refuses to become dependent, and does not encourage another’s intimacy. • Pragma • The love of the pragmatic, who is logical and rational. • Eros • A love style of passion and romance.

  4. Love Styles • Mania • The person with mania love style feels intense emotion and sexual passion but is out of control. • Storge • A calm, soothing, nonsexual love devoid of intense passion. • Agape • A love style that is selfless and giving.

  5. Romantic vs. Realistic Love • Romantic Love: • Characterized by such beliefs as love at first sight, there is only one true love, and love conquers all. • Symptoms of romantic love include drastic mood swings, palpitations of the heart, and intrusive thoughts about the partner. • Realistic Love: • Also known as conjugal love. • Conjugal (married) love is less emotional, passionate, and exciting than romantic love and is characterized by companionship, calmness, comfort, and security.

  6. Who is More likely to be in Love? • Men or women • Single or married? • What age group?

  7. Gender and Intimacy • Men and women show intimacy differently. Women link intimacy with being held, cuddled, and with communication. • Men link intimacy with sex. • For women, sex comes after intimacy, for men, sex is their way of expressing intimacy.

  8. Social Control of Love • Arranged Marriages • Race • Same sex attraction • How do parents and peers influence mate selection?

  9. How Love Develops in a New Relationship Society promotes love through popular music, movies, television, and novels. Probability of being in a relationship is influenced by the cultural ideal of physical appearance. The individual must be physiologically aroused. Self-esteem and self-disclosure are associated with the development of healthy love relationships.

  10. Jealousy Definition Types of Jealousy An emotional response to a perceived or real threat to an important or valued relationship Reactive Anxious Possessive

  11. What are Good and Bad Consequences of Jealousy Desirable consequences Undesirable consequences Signify that partner is cared for Learn that development of other romantic and sexual relationships is unacceptable Assess partners commitment Make individual miserable Cause a negative evaluation in the relationship experience Attacks can cause partner to end relationship Lead to stalking or violence.

  12. Cultural Aspects of Mate Selection • Fewer than 1% of persons marry someone outside their race. • Independent of sexual orientation, two forms of cultural pressure operative in mate selection are: • Endogamy - Expectation to marry within one’s social group. • Exogamy - Expectation to marry outside one’s own family group.

  13. Sociological Factors Operative in Mate Selection • The homogamy theory of mate selection states that we tend to be attracted to and become involved with those who are similar to us in age, race, religion, and social class. • The more couples have in common, the higher the reported relationship satisfaction and the more durable the relationship.

  14. Psychological Factors Operative in Mate Selection Complementary-Needs Theory Exchange Theory Parental Characteristics

  15. The Marriage Market • People enter the marriage market and bargain for the best “buy” they can get. • The resources individuals take with them to this “market” are their personal and social characteristics. • Which theory is this based off of?

  16. Exchange Theory & the Marriage Market • Relationships form and continue based upon rewards and costs they provide to each partner. • When one has choices, the idea is to maximize the rewards and avoid costs • Resources include? Costly attributes include? • How is this process similar and different for arranged and free-choice marriages?

  17. Filter Theory • According to filter theory, we sift eligible people according to specific criteria and thus narrow the pool of potential partners to a small number of candidates.

  18. The principle of least interest- The partner that is least interested in relationship has more power, more control • Less dependence, less interest in maintaining relationship=more control • Conversely, the dependent partner is more easily manipulated and controlled

  19. Sociobiology • Men and women select mates on the basis of their concern for producing offspring. • Men look for a young, healthy, attractive, sexually conservative woman who will produce healthy children and take care of them. • Women look for an ambitious man with good economic capacity who will invest resources in her children.

  20. Engagement • Prenuptial Agreement • Designed to specify how property will be divided if the marriage ends in divorce or by the death of one partner. • Reasons for a prenuptial agreement: • Protecting assets for children from a prior relationship. • Protecting business associates.

  21. Marrying for the Wrong Reason • Examples include: • Rebound • Escape • Unanticipated pregnancy • Psychological blackmail • Insurance benefits • Pity • Filling a void

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