Marriage and Family Strengths and Needs

1. Marriage and Family Strengths and Needs Recurring Themes Marital and Family Strengths Different Families, Different Strengths Kin and Community Strengthening Families Through Family Policy

2. Recurring Themes • A. Families are dynamic; they will always continue to change and there will always be families. • B. Families are diverse; they form a composite of race, ethnicity, social class, gender, and lifestyle variations. • C. Families satisfy important societal and personal needs; societal health and stability depend in large part on strong and stable families. • D. Families need societal support; the family needs greater societal and institutional support to overcome problems and grasp opportunities.

3. Marital and Family Strengths • A. Marriage may be seen as a forum for negotiating the balancing between the desire for intimacy and the need to maintain a separate identity through interpersonal competence. • B. Marital strengths versus family strengths: • 1. Childfree couples generally have more time for each other and substantially less psychological, economic, and physical stress. • 2. Many of our marital skills probably develop alongside our family skills.

4. 3. The relationships of families with children generally have greater stability because the emotional cost of a breakup is much greater when children are present; in addition, children help fulfill our need for intimacy. • C. Essential aspects of successful marriage: • 1. Numerous studies show a strong correlation between a couple's communicationpatterns and marital satisfaction.

5. 2. Commitment is a continual growing of a relationship, involving the willingness and ability to work together. Commitment to the sexual relationship within marriage is a very important aspect of marital strength. • 3. Commitment involves give-and-take in order to be together and nurture the marriage relationship. • 4. Commitment to success is an essential component in the formation of strong marriages and strong families.

6. Family Strengths • A. Family strengths are those characteristics that contribute to a family's satisfaction and its perceived success as a family. • B. Family goals are unique to each family. • C. Perfection in families exists as an ideal: Family quality can be seen as a continuum. • D. Family quality varies over the family life cycle: • 1. The overall cohesiveness of the family is severely tested at times; although it often emerges stronger, it may have experienced periods of distrust, disorder and unhappiness.

7. 2. Families are idiosyncratic; each is different from all others. • E. The Family Strengths Research Project found that six qualities stood out repeatedly in successful families including appreciation; spending time together; commitment; good communication patterns spiritual wellness; and ability to deal with crises.

8. F. Ten areas of strength in successful families include commitment; affirmation, respect, and trust; communication; responsibility, morality, and spiritual orientation; rituals and traditions; crisis management; ability to seek help; spending time together; a family wellness orientation; and a balance between cohesion and adaptability. • G. Commitment involves the promotion of growth of other family members: • 1. Commitment is a prevailing characteristic in strong families of all forms.

9. 2. Commitment to the family involves the participation of family members in a worldview that encompasses more than only self-centered interest. • H. Affirmation, respect, and trust are essential to family health. • 1. Supporting others in our family and being supported and affirmed in return are important in maintaining a feeling of satisfaction and wellbeing. • 2. According respect to our family members for their uniqueness and differences and encouraging members to develop their individuality is also important.

10. 3. Criticism, ridicule, and rejection will undermine self-esteem. • 4. The establishment of trust that family members can be relied on encourages the • development of self-confidence and a sense of responsibility for oneself and others. • 5. Parental role modeling is a crucial factor in the development of qualities that ensure personal psychological health and growth. • I. Our tones of voice, body language, eye contact, silences, a touch, or a gift are all forms of communication. • 1. In strong families, communication is direct.

11. 2. Strong families talk a lot, trust one another, and are good listeners. • 3. In times of conflict, strong families keep communication focused on the issues rather than the personalities of those involved. • 4. Communication has been described as a huge umbrella that covers all that transpires among human beings. • 5. Communication facilitates other family strengths. • J. Responsibility, morality, and spiritual orientation are important for healthy families.

12. 1. The acquisition of responsibility is rooted in a sense of self-respect and an appreciation of the interdependence of people. • a. Successful families realize the importance of delegating responsibility and of developing responsible behavior. • b. Parental acknowledgment of a job well done goes a long way toward building responsibility in children. • c. Healthy families know the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and face the consequences.

13. 2. Healthy families develop a sense of right and wrong, a moral code, in their children based on a firm conviction that the world and people around us must be valued and respected. • 3. Families with a spiritual orientation see a larger purpose for their family than simply their own maintenance and self-satisfaction. • 4. Spirituality gives meaning, purpose, and hope. • a. By traditions and rituals, families find a link to the past and a hope for the future. • b. Strong families often have a sense of family history, strengthening a sense of connection to its roots.

14. L. Research consistently identifies the capacity to deal effectively with family crises as a characteristic of strong families. Members of a strong family unite to face the challenges of a crisis. • 1. The cumulative effect of other family strengths enables strong families to deal with crises. • 2. Strong families are able to accept changes resulting from crises and to see possibilities for growth in them. • M. Effective crisis management is associated with the family's ability to be open to resources outside itself.

15. 1. Strong families acknowledge their vulnerabilities. • 2. Strong families' experiences of interdependence within the family better equip them to recognize the interdependence among families and community. • N. Making time for family is an interlocking trait that brings together other characteristics found in strong families: It expresses commitment to the family. • 1. Spending time together is necessary to develop adequate communication and to build cohesion.

16. 2. Healthy families give play and leisure time high priority. • O. Having a family wellness orientation means making a conscious decision to live our lives in ways that move us toward optimal health in physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and social dimensions. • 1. Wellness is positive, proactive, and focuses on being healthy and whole. • 2. Families oriented toward wellness take advantage of educational opportunities that help them gain perspectives on family developmental processes.

17. Different Families, Different Strengths • A. recognition of the commonality • B. Ethnicity is a complicated and ever changing phenomenon. • C. Family strengths associated with African-American families include: (1) an extended kinship network; (2) flexibility of roles; (3) resilient children; (4) egalitarian parental relationships; and (5) strong motivation to achieve.

18. D. Latino families often live in nuclear families near other families in the extended family network. • 1. Latino culture emphasizes the family as a basic source of emotional support, especially for children. • 2. In Puerto Rican families, the role of mother is central and is expressed in the term marianismo. • 3. Mexican-American families tend to emphasize the needs of the family above those of the individual: A child's padrinos (called compadres by the parents) are an important part of the family support system

19. 4. Family strengths associated with Latino families include: being family centered; strong ethnic identity; high family flexibility; a supportive network of kin; egalitarian decision making; and family cohesion. • E. Responsibilities to aged parents and to close relatives are fundamental to the family institution of Asian-American families. • 1. In Chinese-American families, the concept of hsiao (filial piety) involves a series of obligations of child to a parent.

20. 2 . Strengths of Japanese-American families include: (1) close family ties indicated by strong feelings of loyalty to family; (2) low divorce rates; and (3) a complex system of values and techniques of social control. • 3. Due to patterns of immigration and disruption of family relations, Vietnamese-Americans have developed variations in their traditional extended family household and kin system. • 4. Strengths of Asian-American families include: filial piety; family as a cohesive unit; value of education; feelings of loyalty; and extended family support.

21. F. Native Americans are a diverse group.1. In general, Native American families see human life as being in harmony with nature. • 2. Relations with kin are often characterized by residential closeness, obligatory mutual aid, active participation in life cycle events, and the presence of central figures around which family ceremonies revolve. • 3. A special role for the elderly has historically been recognized as a strength in Native American families.

22. 4. Strengths of Native American families include: extended family network; value placed on cooperation and groups, respect for the elderly; tribal support system; and preservation of culture.

23. Kin and Community • A. Whether we are married or single, we have relationship needs. • 1. We need to nurture others by caring for a partner, children, or other intimates both physically and emotionally. • 2. Social integration involves being actively involved in some form of community, through knowing others who share our interests and participating in community or school projects. • 3. The knowledge that assistance from others is available keeps us from feeling anxious and vulnerable.

24. 4. We need intimacy with people who will listen to us and care about us. • 5. We need reassurance as to our skills as persons, workers, parents, and partners to maintain self-esteem. • B. Few aspects of family life exist to which relatives do not make a significant contribution. Even when extended families are separated geographically, they continue to provide emotional support. • C. In addition to kinship networks, many families have extensive networks of affiliated kin and friendships. The strength of kinship ties depends more on feeling than biology.

25. 1. The wellbeing of the family depends not only on its own resources, but also on the support it receives from the community in which it is embedded. • 2. Despite the complexities of modern life, the families that love, shelter, and teach us remain America's greatest national resource: They deserve to be nurtured, strengthened, and protected.