Conflict Management and Negotiations

1. Conflict Management and Negotiations FCS 387

2. Conflict • Basic Definition: • Tending in different and opposite directions • Incompatible goals • Misunderstood issues and interests • All conflicts are about two issues: • power • self-esteem • Conflict is an innate human characteristic

3. Conflict Management • Trust • Conflict destroys trust…conflict management builds trust • Trust is an essential element in a happy and well-adjusted relationship • Conflict management is about problem solving….creatively

4. Misunderstanding Personality clashes Competition for Resources Authority issues Lack of Cooperation Difference over methods or styles Low performance Value or goal differences Causes of Conflict

5. Value of Conflict • Constructive • Opens up issues of importance, resulting in issue clarification • Helps build cohesiveness as people learn more about each other • Causes reassessment by allowing for examination of procedures or actions • Increases individual involvement

6. Value of Conflict • Destructive • Diverts energy from more important issues and tasks • Deepens difference in values • Polarizes groups so that cooperation is reduced • Destroys the morale of people or reinforces poor self-concepts

7. Conflict and the Work World • 85% of people experience conflict at work • Conflict at work affects peoples health • 1 in 4 people are unhappy at work • People become demoralized and depressed • Conflict affects businesses bottom line

8. People and Conflict • Most people do not like to be in conflict • Conflict occurs when parties view the system as not working • People see only one solution • People do not want to see common ground • Each person is doing the best they can for themselves • People must be willing to move off of their position to reach agreement • People have to be heard

9. Gender in Conflict • Women are more likely to avoid conflict • Men tend to have more power culturally • Men try to take control of conflict situations by speaking out • Women take listening roles • Men value autonomy and independence • Women value connection with others • Men tend to be more competitive, women may be uncomfortable competing with men

10. Lens Model of Conflict • Two things important in all conflict: • Communication behaviors • Perceptions of those behaviors • Each person has a view of: • Oneself • The other person • The relationship they are conjointly creating • Each person looks at conflict with a different lens – different perspectives

11. Perceptions • At the heart of all conflicts are people’s perceptions • Perceptions are people’s reality • Most people in conflict feel they have too little power and self-esteem and the other person has too much • People feel the other party is interfering – blocking us from getting goals

12. Goals • In all conflict, parties are trying to accomplish something • Goals are what we want • Goals are usually defined prior to the conflict • Conflicts intensify as people realize they have different goals • Early in conflict most people lack goal clarity

13. Issues – the what The overt agenda The substance of the dispute Tangible Interests – the why The unstated agenda The essence of the dispute Intangible Issues and Interests

15. Conflict Styles • Avoidance • Non-confrontational; denies issues are a problem. • This is the style of a highly dependent person without inner direction. • May postpone conflict or avoid it all costs. • Moving away, leaving, losing • A low level of concern for oneself and the other person

16. Conflict Styles • Accommodating • Agreeable, non-assertive; cooperative even at the expense of personal goals. • Yielding, moving toward the other person’s point of view, friendly • Low level of concern for oneself but high level of concern for the other person

17. Conflict Styles • Competitive • Uses power, position, personality, or status to get own way. Assertive and aggressive, forceful, moving against others • Highly concerned for oneself, but low concern for the other person

18. Conflict Style • Compromise • Aggressive but cooperative. • Tries to bargain, compromise and split the difference • A middle ground where each party cares about the other

19. Conflict Styles • Collaborative • High respect for mutual benefit. • Recognizes the needs and mutual benefits of both parties. • Strives for win/win or recognizes abilities and expertise of all. • Integrating, working toward solution with others • Factors in both one’s concerns and the other’s concerns

20. Power • Competitive and Avoidance • Both power over • Accommodation and Compromise • Power under • Collaboration • Equal power

21. Destructive Conflict • Communication types that lead to the end of the relationship: • Criticizing • Defensiveness • Stonewalling • Contempt

22. You have to do this…. It’s your fault…. Do you realize…. I know what is best….. You must…. I would do it this way.. You’ll feel better….. How can you? What’s wrong with you? Why? Conflict Obstacles

23. Conflict Management • Use I statements • You only speak for yourself in conflict • Why? – should not be used in conflict management • Use what, who, when, where and how • Goals need to be understood • Issues and interests need to be addressed

24. Conflict Management • Describe a person’s behavior not personality • Be tough on the problem, soft on the person • In conflict management goals are recognized and validated

25. Active Listening • Utilize body language • Minimal verbal interaction • Reflects back words and emotions to speaker • Reframe negative statements • Minimize interruptions • Use clear statements • Use “I” messages

26. Resolving Conflict • Resolve from the “inside out” • Change communication patterns • Make individual changes that will change others • Make small changes • Let go of the “benefits” of the conflict • Don’t wait for the others to make changes

27. Resolutions • Steps for positive resolutions • Commitment to find a resolution that is mutually beneficial • Trust • Frame of mind that there is more than one way to look at issues • Belief that a solution exists • Commitment to stay in the communication process

28. Win/Win Results • Gain participation from everyone involved in the conflict • State the reason to work on a solution • Have each party see the problem/situation from the other point of view • Identify key issues and concerns • Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.

29. Cooperation • If others won’t cooperate: • Walk away • Appeal to a higher authority • Confront Constructively • Communicate • Ask Questions • Plan • Plan well and have good self awareness to confront effectively

30. Attitude • Emphasize the positive • Accept reality and move ahead • Recognize the “big picture” • Focus on possibilities, not problems • Maintain a willingness to change • Remember, you always have a choice of ways to respond

31. Anger • Anger is a secondary emotion Perceived threat Fear Anger • Anger is a normal, usually healthy, human emotion • It is your own emotion

32. Aggression • Aggression is an attack • Behavior is a choice • Don’t accept inappropriate behavior • Calm yourself down • Acknowledge person’s feelings • Ask questions

33. Negotiation • Negotiation is the active phase of conflict resolution • people generate optimism • brainstorm • give and take • attempt to get their mutual goals met

34. Negotiation • Focus on interests, not positions • Focus on mutual gain • Acknowledge and validate parties interests • Start on a conciliatory note • “This is difficult, but we can work it out” • Use creative problem solving to invent options for mutual gain • Firm goals – flexible means

35. Negotiation • Brainstorm • Bring options to the table • Do not criticize or evaluate ideas • BATNA • Best alternative to negotiated agreement • What is acceptable to you • Invent a list of actions to take if no agreement is reached

36. Planning Conflict Awareness Needs Analysis Objectives Strategy Opponent Tactics Action Negotiation Assessment Evaluation Negotiation Life Cycle