Parenting Power Point 2

1. Be a Parent First Parenting Power Point 2 It is great to be a friend to your child but it is more important to be a parent first and foremost. It is important to set boundaries. And….make sure there are consequences to going outside of those boundaries. Being the adult in charge!

2. Why do this? What is the need? Not only children but sometimes adults feel they should do what they want. It is certainly true we all have our rights but we have responsibilities as well. You want your child to realise they cannot just do what they want without considering others. If they do not understand this, the child can develop an attitude problem with you or others. This can affect their behaviour at home, at school and socially with their peers.

3. Some things to watch out for! • Does your child behave at home but is always naughty when they are not with you? • Does your child sound like a different child at school to what they are at home? • Have you developed distractions to get your child to do things at home which will not work in other environments and are not healthy?

4. If your child is always good at home but misbehaves when they are out with others there is the possibility that you are being a little strict with them and they let their hair down when they are somewhere else and become unruly. • However, if you are letting them get away with too much they may think they can behave like this all of the time. • It is possible to confuse your child by being inconsistent with your rules, behaviour and boundaries. It is OK to behave like this one minute and not another is a very unclear message.

5. It is not easy but what we are looking for is punishment that is productive short and does not escalate. When you ban a child form something for being naughty it needs to be something that is in the now. Something where possible they were about to do that they will miss and by the time they start behaving again it does not seem like they are getting punished for being good. It has to be something you will carry through, not too harsh and don’t get into the pattern of saying “Well now it is a longer time now your not going out for a week, a month, a year”!

6. Can I Encourage You to spend time with your Children. Mine are 20 and 18 and the years have flown by. The best bit of advice I was given was to enjoy each stage they go through. It is to easy to end out in a situation where your children have everything in the bedroom they need so they lock themselves away and do not interact with you. For as long as you can go out on bike rides, picnics, to the park, play board games, share a hobby, do sport with your children. Watch films with them and talk about what happens in them. Plan and spend as much time with your children as you can, make sure you praise them for the good things they do and most of all for trying and behaving. You need to praise your children far more than you criticise them.

7. This way you can be a parent and role model to your children. You will not influence them as much as their friends if you do not spend time with them! Lots of praise and encouragement for the children Shared activities and lots of fun. For the children and parents Boundaries and moderate consequences for the children Being a Parent First