2. Maintenance of Relationships

1. http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZKLCRQC 2. Maintenance of Relationships Key Question – Why do relationships keep going?

2. Starter – read the scenario and decide what factors make their relationship continue Harry and Jo have been together for 4 years. They share a flat in Leicester. They have separate hobbies but share a lot of social time with friends. In the evening Harry does the cooking and Jo does the cleaning. They have both been in a relationship before but not for a long time. They enjoy each other’s company but do argue at times.

3. Learning Outcomes • Outline the key features of two theories of maintenance of relationships • Describe research which supports these two theories • Evaluate using strengths and weaknesses these theories and/or the evidence to support it

4. Big Picture • Add notes to a handout individually • Watch video clips to demonstrate the theories • Choose a piece of research to accompany each theory of maintenance • Discuss in pairs the most valuable theory

5. Formation and Maintenance Theories The similarity theory and reward/need satisfaction theories explain why two people would choose each other as partners, other theories go beyond this and explain how relationships are maintained. The two most influential are Social Exchange Theory and Equity Theory. These are referred to as ‘Economic’ theories as they assume that couples calculate ‘costs and benefits’ and ‘investment’ during the relationship.

6. Satisfaction (profit) is determined by exchange of rewards (sex, affection, support) and costs (providing support & not always having your own way). We develop a comparison level (CL) as a product of our relationships with others and use this to judge the standard of the current relationship we are in Social Exchange Theory (Thibaut & Kelly 1959)

7. SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY Model of long term relationships Thibaut and Kelley’(1959) “There are four stages that long-term relationships go through they are…..” All these ‘stage’ theories can be criticised for being too rigid – individual differences are not considered. Will everyone go through all the stages?

8. Why does a Social Exchange type relationship breakdown? Theories referred to in terms of investment, profit, loss, costs & rewards etc. So if relationship is showing a profit then…. It will continue But if showing a loss (low amounts of positive satisfaction - few rewards) & High number of attractive alternatives. It will likely fail. Thibaut & Kelly stated that people in a relationship constantly compare their relationships with previous relationships and possible alternatives. If the present relationship compares well with others then the motivation is to maintain the current relationship.

9. Steve and Liz • Steve and Liz have been dating for 6 months. Steve recently lost his job and has become quite needy. He calls Liz 3 times a day and always wants to spend time with her. This means Liz doesn’t get to spend much time with her friends and she has recently started to miss her weekly attendance to swimming club. When together steve gets quite upset Liz has to spend a lot of energy trying to make him feel better. Steve lives with Liz and is quite messy so Liz often has to clear up after him. Steve tries to make up for this by cooking dinner for Liz when she finishes work. She also thinks he is a really good kisser and is quite good in the bedroom!

10. Liz and Claire • Liz broke off the relationship with Steve. She recently realised she is attracted to her gay friend Claire and they have started a romantic relationship. Claire is really independent and doesn’t rely too heavily on Liz for emotional support but they enjoy spending time together. They enjoy a hug and a kiss and sharing a bottle of wine together in the evening. Liz and Claire both go to the swimming club so they always enjoy attending each week together and never miss a session. They both recently moved in together and have found they are both really tidy and clear up after themselves.

11. Liz’s Comparison Level table This is formed by experiences in other relationships as well as our general view of what we expect from a current relationship. This is also affected by comparison level for alternatives.

12. comparison level for alternatives. Rewards from a different partner – costs of breaking up the current relationship = decision

13. Task On your handout or in your books write down ONE piece of research to support this theory • MUST – include details of what the research found • SHOULD – include some details of the method/sample • COULD – include evaluation of that piece of research

14. Balance is achieved more through perceived fairness, as in the matching hypothesis. Inequity results in striving to restore balance or in dissolution. This theory is similar to Social exchange but attempts to quantify what makes a relationship fair. EVIDENCE Hatfield et al (1972) interviewed over 500 students about equity in their relationships. Three months later the inequitable relationships were more likely to have ended. COMMENTARY Equity may be maintained by matching any attractive characteristics, such as looks, money or status. Individual differences, - Individuals low in exchange orientation don’t bother about equity (Buunk & VanYperen, 1991) Cultural Differences – equity is not a norm for all cultures. These two theories are called ‘economic theories’ because they explain relationships in terms of rewards & costs. Equity Theory (Walster et al. 1978)

15. Why does an Equity type relationship breakdown? Unfair (inequitable) relationships produce dissatisfaction. As long as the ‘loser’ feels there is a chance of restoring the balance (equity) they are motivated to save the relationship. This idea of restoring the balance has also been noticed by the advertising industry!

16. 2.RESRedressing the balance.wmv

17. Task On your handout or in your books write down ONE piece of research to support this theory • MUST – include details of what the research found • SHOULD – include some details of the method/sample • COULD – include evaluation of that piece of research

18. Evaluation of Social Exchange Theory • Martz (1995) Women in abusive relationships may stay as the high investment (children) and low alternative (nowhere to live) could be considered a reward situation therefore maintaining their relationship. (STRENGTH) • The theory can not explain why someone might leave a relationship without an alternative (LIMITATION) • Selfish theory – this theory suggests that people only in relationships for the rewards they get and not for any other reason

19. SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY & BREAKDOWN • However if the prospective relationship appears a better alternative than the present relationship – then the motivation is to end the current relationship. 2.RESLast rolo clip.mpeg

20. Evaluating Social Exchange & Equity Theory Social Exchange theory tends to see relationships as SNAPSHOTS at one point in time – whereas they are DYNAMIC constantly changing. This theory see people as CALCULATING (Selfish – What’s in it for me? Am I giving more than I am getting?) The theory doesn’t take into account the social context of the relationship E.g. Arranged marriages, religion, parenting, health traditions etc. Research evidence is inconsistent (Clark and Mills, 1979 identified two types of couples: THE COMMUNAL COUPLE – giving is motivated by concern and positive regard for the other ~ they give to meet each others needs – not expecting anything in return ~ shared responsibility for relationship. THE EXCHANGE COUPLE – As in social exchange – certain amount of ‘score keeping’ is evident. Expect a return on their investment ~ cost benefit analysis of relationship ~ give but expect same in return. There is also evidence that equity is not the same for everyone (Hatfield) Equity may be more important for females than males. (Gender Issue) Murstein et al (1977) Equity may only be a problem in troubled relationships. (Health of relationship issue)

21. Evaluation: Cultural Bias in Economic Theories THE KEY IDEAS Moghaddam (1993) concluded that Western Relationships were generally: Individualistic Temporary & Voluntary Whereas Non-Western relationships tended to be: Collectivist Obligatory & Permanent So remember : MOGHADDAM I.T.V. COP This means that many of the research studies and / or theories we have studied can be criticised for being:- Ethnocentric (relevant only to the society where the theory and / or study was based) and so lacking cultural relativism.

22. Other evaluative points Era Dependant (as social structures & norms generally change over time e.g. single parent families and cohabitation much more common now than 50 years ago) Assuming Heterosexuality (hetrosexual bias) (Most research is only completed on heterosexual relationships so can we apply them to homosexual with any confidence?) Some have Ethical Problems – what if no one wanted to date you! Many would be difficult to make generalisations from because the task or environment was artificial (lacked mundane realism) Walster not how we normally arrange a date etc.

23. Plenary Discuss in pairs – what theory is most valuable for explaining why relationships are maintained and don’t breakdown Feedback to the rest of the class