Winners vs Losers To understand that individuals can control their attitudes and actions by choosing their self-talk (thoughts)
Objective: • To identify how negative thoughts lead to the loser’s position. • To identify how positive thought lead to the winner’s position. • To differentiate between winners’ and losers choices.
Event + Response = What you get • What you get, what happens to you is a result of actions you take. • Your actions are a result of your feelings or attitudes. • Your feelings or attitudes are a result of your vocabulary, the words you use orally land silently (self-talk). • What vocabulary you use is a choice you make
Winners vs Losers “Saying that winners choose positive thoughts and self-talk, does not let us know HOW they do that, because we all know that it is not always an easy choice to make.
Winners do 3 things: • First, they recognize that every situation has a positive and negative aspect. • Second, they recognize that there are always more positive aspects than negative. • Third, they pick out the positives and concentrate self-talk on these.
Knowing those three steps, how do you think losers end up in a negative position?” “We are going to examine a few actual situations to see how people go through the steps of choosing the thoughts they will have. These will illustrate how, based on what they think, people end up either losers or winners. We will look twice at each situation; as a loser and then as a winner.” Winners vs Losers
Event + Your Response =What you get (example A) • L You and a friend Negative thoughts • O plan to go to the -nothing ever turns • S movie on Fri. out right for me. • E -he must not like • R Fri afternoon the me very much. • friend calls and -he probably found • says they aren’t someone else he • going. wanted to be with • to do something. • -if I can’t go to the • movie tonight I • don’t want to do • anything. • Feelings • -bummed out • -negative about self • -bothered, irritated • Actions • -sit around the house -have a bad time • and complain -are in a bad mood • -not find something -have a boring eve • else fun to do -turned control of your life over to • someone else
Event + Your Resonse =What you get (example A) Positive ThoughtsResults: W -sometimes plans -have a good time I change -are in a good mood N -there are lots of -have a nice eve N other things I can -took control of E do this eve your life R -there are other people I can be with to do fun stuff Feelings -accepting -positive about self -content -eager about finding a new activity Actions -find something else to do -find someone else to do something -enjoy your own company
Event + Your Resonse =What you get (example B) Negative Thoughts Feelings L Your divorced - I want my real mom -angry O Parent gets & dad to be together -frustrated S remarried - this will never -hurt E work out -resentful R You now live in - I’ll be left out -left out a new family - I am not going -neglected w/ a stepparent to like this new -unhappy & stepbrothers family &stepsisters Actions -withdraw from new family -not cooperative w/ new family -not friendly toward new family members -get in a lot of trouble at home -live in a family with a lot of strife and stress -are preoccupied w/ negative thoughts about your family situation & that drains your energy -don’t feel goodabout yourself & that keeps you from getting on with your life
Event + Your Resonse =What you get (example B) Positive ThoughtsResults: W -I understand my - are not always in trouble I real parents made - have an easier life at home N a choice not to live - live in a family that N together anymore gets along better & E -I wonder how we can there is less fighting R all work together - have positive thoughts -I don’t know this new about your family situation family very well so you have more energy & can focus that energy in ways that will help you Feelings- feel good about yourself -acceptance & that allows you to get on -calm with your life -open-minded -content -cheerful -positive Actions -participate in new family -cooperative with new family -friendly toward new family members
Group Activity • Get into groups of two and complete the situation sheet. • Fill out front and back. • Then share with group.