CONSENT Do you have it? How do you know? What is the standard for knowing? Is it good? Could it be better?
Drawing the line • “Where is the line between coercive and consensual sex in a culture in which violence and domination are eroticized?” (text, p. 460). • IS IT: • How your partner is acting? • What your partner is saying? • What YOU think your partner wants? • What your partner wants? • What your partner has agreed to? • How do you know?
DRAWING THE LINE • NO MEANS NO? • What does it mean when someone says “NO”? (Reading notes, pp. 477-48) • Surveys suggest that neither college men nor women “have complete confidence that a woman’s no means no in a sexual situation.” • Token resistance: when no might mean yes….? • John Leo: “The mating game does not proceed by words alone.” • “no can mean ‘maybe’, ‘convince me’, ‘back off awhile’ or ‘get lost.’” • So, he concludes, no means no is a bad standard. Really?
Drawing the Line • Katy Perry, addressing the eroticization of dominance with her usual tact and subtlety with her friend Kanye, who always respects the ladies. • In a world where this and Twilight are popular, especially with young people, is there any surprise that we have problems with yes and no?
Drawing the line • Alcohol • Sex and drinking and consent, oh my! • Voluntary intoxication: a defense? A credibility wrecker? Both? Neither? • Camille Paglia quote, p. 473. IS THIS RIGHT? Do people think that? • Must married people consent? • Can it be inferred? • If you consented to one thing, do you consent to something else? • If you consented in the past, does it transfer to this time? • Rape shield laws: discussing consent at trial.
Walking THE LINE • ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT • Consent is not an on-off switch • Everyone is responsible for knowing that they have consent. • This means COMMUNICATION!!! • If it is not clear, ASK. • Is this feasible? Benefits? Complications? • How does it affect coercion and consent (acquaintance rape)? • Would this be a good alteration of public consciousness?
Whose line is it, Anyway? • Are women the “gatekeeprs of ‘no’?” • MYTH: Enthusiastic consent infantilizes women. • ONLY IF WOMEN ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING CONSENT (which is a lot of responsibility for an infant, yes?) • Are they the only ones who must give it? • Must they also get it? • What assumptions must be made for women to be the “gatekeepers of ‘no’?’ • Women don’t rape • All sex is heterosexual, so there is always a man to ask a woman and a woman to be asked. • ?? • http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/the-nonexistent-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-consequences-of-enthusiastic-consent/