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Many artists study their craft by imitating the masters. For this assignment, you are to reproduce the pattern of Hamlet’s “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, but using your own ideas and words to replace the character's. This "emulation" is not a paraphrase or parody, but a unique composition inspired by the form of the original.
Emulation Example: “To Snooze, or not to Snooze”by Colleen Myers
Discuss the ways in which Myers has retained Shakespeare's structure while replacing it with her own meaning. To Snooze or Not to Snooze To Be or Not to Be To snooze or not to snooze – that is the question: Whether ’tis easier to rise on time And face the harsh light of early day, Or to stay huddled under the quilt, And, by hiding, avoid the rays. To rise, to hit the snooze button— No more – and by rising to say I face The early-morning preparations for the events That each day holds— ’Tis a situation I do not wish to face. To be or not to be—that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep— No more—and by a sleep to say we end The heartache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to— ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished.
To snooze, to sleep— To sleep, perhaps too long. Ay, there’s the problem, For in oversleeping what events may come about When we are hiding from the alarm’s harsh call Must make us stop and think. That’s the idea That makes disaster of sleeping in. For who really wants to face the 6 a.m. sun, The first period’s quiz, The morning person’s obnoxious cheeriness, The disappointment in decaffeinated coffee, The dance class’s early rehearsals, The overly chipper song of the early bird, And the cold looks That early-risers send in my late-sleeping direction, When they too may sleep in On weekends free from tribulations? To die, to sleep— To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub, For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life. For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes, When himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin?
Who would heed the alarm’s early call, To squint and yawn through the first hours of the day, But that the horror that something may be missed while dozing, The unknown events that have occurred which The gossips discuss While we stand in a confused daze, Wishing we had risen on time Instead of seeking those futile thirty minutes? Thus the chance of missing out does make early risers of us all, And thus the bliss of sleeping in Is tainted by eye-opening thoughts of lost news, And peaceful moments of dreams and sleep With this regard their paths are cut short And lose the dark in favor of the harsh light. Who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscovered country from whose bourn No traveler returns, Puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pitch and moment With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.
Your assignment is to write your own emulation of the soliloquy. You are encouraged to replace just about every word from the speech with a word of your own that serves the same grammatical purpose. You may use the same prepositions and helping verbs as in the original. Be sure to describe an actual choice that you are facing, have faced, or could face. This choice can be something important and of a serious nature (i.e. to go to university) or something light and meager, even humorous (i.e. should you or shouldn’t you pick your nose at the present time).
