Choosing Your Pond Wisely: Navigating Relationships for Success
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Presentation Transcript
Fishing Who’s in the Pond With You?
VIP’s – Make great decisions! • Spouse • Friends • Siblings and parents • Co-workers – be careful • Employees • Neighbors • Priest, preacher, Rabbi, etc. – Religeous leader • In-Laws – be even MORE careful.
SIP’s (Sort of Important)- Watch It. You don’t know yet. • Friends of friends • Short termers – people you haven’t known very long, yet have commonality • Re-entry people – you haven’t seen them in years. The “Brenda” people. • Kids’ friends’ parents – the commonality is probably short term; and you’ll know who isn’t. • Service providers – banker, accountant, etc.
Red Flags • Takers – Is your cup getting filled? • They want something from you • Anyone who talks about you behind your back and doesn’t confront you • Who’s betrayed your trust? • The jealous crowd • Politics – everything’s on the table • People are judgemental; and they’re watching.
The Importance of Loyalty • We’re not alone • We need allies • Who are yours? • Trust is earned • Respect is earned • Loyalty is timeless, especially with people who knew you before you were “somebody” • Smart people generally move up and succeed • You WILL need help someday. So will everyone else.
Follow the Leader • Who’s by your side is critical. Who’s out in front is “life or death.” • Your people are and will always be your best and most important asset • Inclusion, positive feedback, and independence = loyalty. • Pushing, demanding, and expectations of respect = miserable work experience. (Matt C.) • Seek great leadership. Learn and emulate.
Everyone has “Stuff” • Throwing problems into a pile in the middle of a room. • God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle. • Smart advice – ‘when you wonder what people think of you, remember…they don’t.’ • The best “you” is the right “you.” Anyone who wants you to be different isn’t worth swimming with. • Who wants to dunk or splash you? (Make you look bad) • Who wants to watch you show off with a swan dive? • Who wants to see you drown? • Beware. Someone wants what you have. • Is that food or bait?
Mentors and Managers • Your best interest or their best interest? • Who might care? • Are you stuck or are you agile and mobile? • Who’s got your back? • Who do you trust? Who’s on your team? • What is your goal? Common or selfish? • Who might get in your way? Why? • Where do you want to go, and who’s willing to help you get there? Who might fight you?
Your NetworkBelieve it or not, you don’t need all those people! • Friends • Family (I put them second for a reason – you need them for more than networking) • Customers • Co-Workers • Parents and their friends • Coaches • Teachers • Who was your biggest ally? Your best teacher? Who did you go to for help?
Deciding Who and Accepting You • Everybody’s in your life for a reason, but that doesn’t mean they have to stay there. • You’re helping, accepting, or wasting time. • You’re allowed to waste time – however, know the limits. Some people are fun and don’t add anything. • Misery loves company. And people have a word quota. • Be okay with allowing people to leave your life • Know who you want to let in, and why! • You can learn from everybody, even if it’s “how not to.” • You cannot be all things to all people, and you can’t expect anyone else to be. • You will be let down. How will you handle it? • This is your life. It’s the only one you have, and it’s okay to put your needs first. Nobility has limitations.
Life’s too Short • What does this person add to my life? • Convenience or usefullness? • Fulfillment or an energy sucker? • Needy or Needed? • Friend or foe? • Do you want your kids around this person? • Can I learn? Can I improve? Can I teach? Can I help? • Spiritual support or devil in disguise? • Addition or subtraction, and addition BY subtraction! Sometimes when someone exits, be grateful. Tim H.
The Golf Analogy • Would spending 4 hours with you be time well spent? • Time is valuable – are you worth it? • Positive attitude or throwing clubs cursing at the world? • What do people see when they see you? Are you good to be in the pond with? • Are you better off in a boat; ON the pond and coming and going rather than in it? What’s your investment? • The 19th Hole – who’s buying and why? How long do you stay? • Would you play again? Would your partners?
Application • In business, your attitude and charisma are critical • Your life dictates your state of mind, and people affect your life • Good people = confidence, grounding, and great presentation • Poor choices go away. Poor decisions last a long time. Don’t allow outside influences affect your best.
