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TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE. February 28, 2012 By: Jacquelin Apsler and Erin Duggan Sources: Loveisrespect.org and Domestic Violence Services Network, Inc. Facts:. Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year .

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TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

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  1. TEEN DATING VIOLENCE February 28, 2012 By: Jacquelin Apsler and Erin Duggan Sources: Loveisrespect.org and Domestic Violence Services Network, Inc.

  2. Facts: • Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year. • One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.

  3. Facts: • Two in five tweens, ages 11 to 14, know friends who have been verbally abused via cell phone, instant messenger, and social networking sites. • Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence - almost triple the national average.

  4. Teen Dating Abuse Teen dating abuse is a pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive or controlling behavior in a dating relationship. It can involve digital communications and technologies or real world communications and physical interactions.

  5. Long Term effects: • Substance abuse • Eating disorders • Risky sexual behavior • Twice as likely to get a sexually transmitted disease • Six times as likely to become pregnant • 50% of youth who are victims of dating violence and rape attempt suicide compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.45 of non-abused boys

  6. Roles In Dating Abuse • Abuser: A person who physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally abuses or attempts to control an intimate partner. • Target: A person who is subjected to controlling behavior or is physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally abused by an intimate partner. • Bystander: A person who knows, suspects, or observes that someone is being abused in a dating relationship.

  7. Physical Abuse Any unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a mark or bruise. Examples: Shoving, punching, hitting, blocking a doorway during an argument.

  8. Sexual Abuse Any sexual behavior that is unwanted, nonconsensual, or interferes with the other person’s right to say “no” to sexual advances. Examples: unwanted touching, pressure for sex, coercion, rape, pressuring someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs, getting someone pregnant against her will.

  9. Verbal/Emotional Abuse Saying or doing something to the other person that causes the person to be afraid and/or have lower self-esteem. Manipulating or controlling a partner's feelings or behaviors. This can include online posts or digital communications designed to threaten, harass, or embarrass someone. Examples: mind games, name calling, insults, threats, blaming, controlling what the other person does, where they go, and who they see.

  10. Warning Signs:Your Teen • Apologizes and/or makes excuses for partner’s behavior. • Loses interest in activities that she/he used to enjoy; appears depressed or anxious. • Texts excessively. • Stops seeing friends and family members and becomes more isolated. • Casually mentions the partner’s violent or abusive behavior, but laughs it off as a joke. • Often has unexplained injuries or the explanations often do not make sense.

  11. Warning Signs:The Partner • Calls your teen names and puts him\her down in front of others. • Acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to your teen. • Tells your teen that you, the teen’s parent(s), don’t like the partner. • Controls your teen’s behavior, checking up constantly, calling or texting, and demanding to know who he\she has been with.

  12. Warning Signs:You • See the abusive partner violently lose his/her temper, striking or breaking objects. • Observe the abusive partner intimidate or demean your teen.

  13. Patterns of Dating Abuse: The Cycle of Abuse -- Phase One Tension Building Phase: Things begin to get tense between the your teen and his/her partner. Anxiety builds up in your teen. Your teen feels like he/she is walking on egg shells.

  14. Patterns of Dating Abuse: The Cycle of Abuse -- Phase two Explosion: The tension is released in a burst of • Physical • Sexual • Verbal and/or • Emotional abuse

  15. Patterns of Dating Abuse:The Cycle of Abuse – Phase Three Honeymoon Phase: The abuser tries to maintain the control over his/her partner by: • Apologizing and promising it will never happen again • Blaming the victim or some other force: stress, alcohol, drugs, etc. • Denying or minimizing the abuse • Showering the victim with gifts, apologies, compliments The victim hopes the abuse is over, wants to believe the abuser is truly sorry, forgives, and gives abuser another chance.

  16. Characteristics of Abusers:Part One • Seek control of the thoughts, beliefs, and conduct of their partner. • Restrict the partner’s rights and freedoms. • Punish the partner for breaking their rules or challenging the abuser’s authority. • Minimize the seriousness of their violence.

  17. Characteristics of Abusers:Part Two • Believe they are entitled to control their partner. • Use anger, alcohol\drug use, and stress as excuses for their abusive behaviors. • Blame the partner for the violence. • Escalate the abuse over time.

  18. Teens and Parents • Of the teens in an abusive relationships, fewer than one in three (32 percent) confide in their parents about their abusive relationship. • Three in four parents say they have had a conversation with their teen about what it means to be in a healthy relationship. • But 74 percent of sons and 66 percent of daughters said they have not had a conversation about dating abuse with a parent in the past year.

  19. If you have concerns about your teen’s relationship… • Be supportive, not judgmental! • Don’t demonize the partner. • Yet, let them know of your concerns without blaming. • Don’t punish your teen. • Help them think through options and scenarios for safety • Research teen dating violence yourself (e.g. loveisrespect.org; loveisnotabuse.org; cdc.gov/chooserespect). • Discuss what healthy relationships should look like and feel like.

  20. Thank You! Erin Duggan Youth Services Coordinator eduggan@concordma.gov (978).318.3043 Jacquelin Apsler Executive Director Domestic Violence Services Network, Inc. (DVSN-DVVAP) japsler@concordma.gov (978).318.3421

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