Evangelism from a Bowen Theory perspective. Or Murray Bowen meets Jesus

1. Evangelism from a Bowen Theory perspective.OrMurray Bowen meets Jesus

2. THESIS: • That if the Church is to take seriously its task of Evangelism, then it needs to take into account not just the biblical, ethical and theological context, but also the context of human relationships in which it takes place. This means that Evangelism must be rooted not just in sound theology, but also in a credible understanding of human functioning.

3. Given these assumptions, What is Evangelism? Given then this particular definition of Evangelism, what then is needed in the training process to implement it?

4. THEOLOGICAL ASSUMPTIONS • Theology needs to be relational rather than propositional • The power of relationships • God • The Gospel • Church • As Institution and as • The Kingdom of God • The Mission

5. ASSUMPTIONS FROM BOWEN THEORY

6. THE EIGHT CONCEPTS OF BOWEN THEORY • Differentiation of self • Nuclear Family Emotional Process • Family Projection Process • Triangles • Multigenerational Transmission Process • Emotional Cut-Off • Sibling Position • Societal Emotional Process

7. TOGETHERNESS - INDIVIDUALITY • Individuality is a biologically rooted life force (more basic than being just a function of the brain) that propels an organism to follow its own directives, to be an independent and distinct entity. • Togetherness is a biologically rooted life force (more basic than being just a function of the brain) that propels an organism to follow the directives of others, to be a dependent, connected, and indistinct entity.Kerr p64

8. The togetherness forces are derived from the universal need for “love,” approval, emotional closeness, and agreement. Bowen p.277

9. The individuality force is derived from the drive to be a productive, autonomous individual, as defined by self rather than the dictates of the group. Bowen p.277

10. There is never a threat of too much individuality.Bowen p.279

11. QUESTIONS FOR EVANGELISM • Can Evangelism at times be a process that pushes for togetherness at the expense of individuality? • Do evangelism programmes imply a togetherness of thinking and acting with little tolerance for self definition or individuality? • What is the goal of evangelism?

12. How does Jesus function in relationships? • Does the relationship with Jesus enhance individuality? Togetherness? Or both? • Does salvation enhance or restrict individuality?

13. Two Key Variables: • Anxiety • Differentiation of Self

14. ANXIETY

15. Since the response to the perception of a threat is anxiety, the more easily people are threatened, the more anxiety they experience. Since anxiety undermines a feeling of emotional well-being, people automatically act in ways designed to reduce anxiety. Kerr p74

16. The greater the emotional interdependence of a relationship, therefore, the more easily people are threatened, the more anxiety they experience, and the more energy is invested in actions aimed at reducing that anxiety. The more actions people feel compelled to take to reduce anxiety and to avoid triggering anxiety, the less the flexibility of a relationship.Kerr p74

17. ANXIETY DEFINED Anxiety is an organism’s response to a threat real or imagined.

18. Questions • How does the Church’s anxiety about itself affect its outreach? • How does anxiety affect the Church’s perception of those outside of the church? • Can evangelism be subverted into a programme to manage the anxiety of the church?

19. DIFFERENTIATION

20. What isDifferentiation of Self? This difference between people in the proportion of life energy prone to be invested and bound in relationship is described by the concept of differentiation of self.

21. The “I position” defines principle and action in terms of , “This is what I think, or believe” and, “This is what I will do or will not do,” without impinging one’s own values or beliefs on others. It is the “responsible I” which assumes responsibility for one’s own happiness and comfort, and it avoids thinking that tends to blame and hold others responsible for one’ own unhappiness or failures. Bowen p495

22. The “responsible I” avoids the “irresponsible I” which makes demands on others with, “I want, or I deserve, or this is my right, or my privilege.” A reasonably differentiated person capable of genuine concern for others without expecting something in return, but the togetherness forces treat differentiation as selfish and hostile. Bowen p495

23. Differentiation has two dimensions: • Focus on self • And is undertaken in relationships, especially with those who are emotionally significant to one.

24. The togetherness needs of a very poorly differentiated person, which are overriding in their influence, are felt as deep yearnings to be loved, accepted and guided through life. As differentiation increases, individuality is better developed, togetherness needs are less intense, and emotional reactiveness is better modulated.

25. Autonomy does not mean selfishly following one’s own directives it mean the ability to be self-determined. Self-determination could result in the choice to be guided by the best interests of the group. Kerr

26. Differentiation is: Being self-focused but not selfish. Being other focused without the loss of self. Kerr

27. QUESTIONS • How will you know if Evangelism is a process of self differentiation i.e. a process that arises out of a more thoughtful and calmer place in self or when it is an emotional process that reflects the anxiety of the Church? • What is the relationship between autonomy and salvation?

28. Can evangelism be an invitation to fuse i.e. give up self to the church? • What would evangelism look like when it is an expression of the church’s differentiation?

29. How can we know if the witness of the Christian is an expression of the solid self? • Can evangelism be understood as the Christian’s “I” statement?

30. Triangulation • The basic building block of any emotional system is the “triangle.” When emotional tension in a two-person system exceeds a certain level, it “triangles” a third person, permitting the tension to shift about within the triangle. … The emotional system is composed of a series of interlocking triangles. Bowen p.174

31. The theory considers the triangle – a three-person system – as the molecule of any emotional system, whether it exists in a family or in a social system. … The triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. A two-person system is an unstable system that immediately forms a series of interlocking triangles. The triangle has definite relationship patterns that predictable repeat in periods of stress and calm. Bowen p198-199

32. QUESTION • Can evangelism programmes be a triangling process in which Christians project and bind their anxiety about their own future onto non-Christians? • What can the church expect from evangelism programmes when the driving force for its action is anxiety?

33. Emotional Cut-off We have come to use the term emotional cut-off or simply cut-off to refer to emotional distancing, whether the cut-off is achieved by internal mechanisms or physical distance.Bowen p535

34. The one who runs away does have a different life course. He needs emotional closeness but is allergic to it. He runs away kidding himself that he is achieving “independence.” The more intense the cut-off with his parents the more he is vulnerable to repeating the same pattern in future relationships. Bowen p.535

35. The person who runs away from his family or origin is as emotionally dependent as the one who never leaves home. They both need emotional closeness but are allergic to it. Bowen p382

36. QUESTIONS • Is emotional cut-off from families a characteristic of people living on the West coast of the USA? • If those who cut-off from their families are allergic to too much togetherness, how can Christians witness to them without triggering their reactivity and distancing? • If they are distancing from their families how can the Church minister to them without pursuing them?

37. GIVEN THESE THEOLOGICAL ANDBOWEN THEORY ASSUMPTIONS,WHAT THEN IS EVANGELISM?

38. Evangelism defined: EVANGELISM IS THE PROCESS OF DEFINING ONESELF AS A CHRISTIAN TO THE WORLD AROUND ONE.

39. A Systems View of the Evangelism Process • Evangelism is relational. It concerns God’s relationship with humankind and nature and our relationship with God, others and nature. Evangelism therefore needs to be rooted in a relational theology that provides a broad relational understanding of life.

40. Evangelism focuses on the relational processes of God’s activity and uses a number of scriptural images such as: Love, justification, healing, liberation, separation, peace, celebration, teaching, listening, breaking of bonds, conversion, caring, restoration, salvaging etc,

41. Evangelism is the witness to the presence of God in the world, others, nature and self. • Evangelism is grounded in the Gospel of Jesus the Christ. • Evangelism is the work of the Holy Spirit. • Evangelism is about the Kingdom of God.

42. Evangelism is a process of defining a self. It focuses on self rather than on the other. • It is the “I” statement of Christians. This is not a selfish focus on self, but the taking of personal responsibility for self in relationships. • Evangelism is about Christian self-definition, and not about defining or attempting to change others. Changing others is the work of the Holy Spirit.

43. Evangelism relates to the “thoughtful” aspects of life rather than to the emotional. • Evangelism as a thoughtful process of self-definition, and is an essential and integral aspect of the Christian life. As such it is an expression of the “solid self” of the Christian.

44. Evangelism is a thoughtful response of the Christian to the call in 1 Peter 3:15 Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence.

45. Evangelism is always undertaken in the context of anxiety both in the “evangelist” and in the one to whom he or she relates. This means that evangelism requires a high degree of self-management by the Christian. • Evangelism affirms that God is involved in the lives of all people – both believers and unbelievers.

46. Evangelism is not judgmental. • Evangelism is a process and not an event or a programme that one takes, studies or implements. • Evangelism honours the differences between people and does not seek togetherness as sameness of thinking, feeling or behaviour.

47. Evangelism finds it source of strength in the Holy Spirit. • Evangelism is not to be equated with “church growth.” Evangelism may or may not lead to an increase in church membership.

48. Assumptions Underlying A Systems Perspective of the Evangelism Process • That Christians are often not familiar, or comfortable with telling their own, or their family’s faith story. • That awareness of their own faith story as well as that of their family, is normative for evangelism since this is the only authentic story for each Christian.

49. Question • What process needs to be provided in order to assist Christians to define themselves?

50. Goals of the Evangelism Process • To provide Christians with the opportunity to reflect on the presence of God in their own and their family’s life. • To provide an opportunity for Christians to tell their own and their family’s faith story so that they can give “an account of the hope that is within them.”