Launch of the Catechetical Segment for Marriage Preparation June 2019

1. Launch of the Catechetical Segment for Marriage Preparation June 2019

2. Opening Prayer – Prayer to the Holy Family Jesus, Mary and Joseph, in you we contemplate the splendour of true love, to you we turn with trust. Holy Family of Nazareth, grantthat our families too may be places of communion and prayer, authentic schools of the Gospel and small domestic Churches. Holy Family of Nazareth, may families never again experience violence, rejection and division; may all who have been hurt or scandalized find ready comfort and healing. Holy Family of Nazareth,make us once more mindful of the sacredness and inviolability of the family, and its beauty in God’s plan. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, graciously hear our prayer. Amen.

3. Why do we Prepare Couples for Marriage? “So that the ‘I do’ of the spouses may be a free and responsible act …preparation for marriage is of prime importance. The role of pastors and of the Christian community is indispensable for the transmission of the human and Christian values of marriage and family… It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people…about the dignity of married love…” CCC #1632

4. The Goals of Pre-Cana • Divorce Prevention/Life Skills • The witness of married couples • A positive experience of Church • Insight into the spirituality of marriage -- How the sacrament is lived each day -- Inviting Christ into the fray -- Part of something greater greater than themselves

5. The Need for a Catechetical Segment Objective 4 of the Plan for Strengthening Marriage: To improve the effectiveness of marriage preparation so that it is more responsive and relevant to the needs of today’s young adults. (4.D) Integrate a comprehensive catechetical segment on sacramental marriage into instructional sessions for engaged couples.

6. Pope Francis on Marriage Preparation • There is a need for “A new catechumenate in preparation for marriage, …an appropriate path of preparation geared to rediscover marriage and the family in keeping with God’s design.” • “…preparation for marriage (is an) antidote that impedes the multiplication of null and inconsistent marriage celebrations.”

7. The Challenge Informed consent – The Church has declared many marriages invalid due to inadequate consent • Incapacity: Lack of due discretion of judgment about rights and duties of marriage (c. 1095) • Ignorance: Lack of understanding that marriage is permanent and ordered to procreation (c. 1096) • Error about marriage: mistaken about unity, indissolubility, or sacramental dignity (c. 1099) • Simulation: Despite words spoken, party/parties do not intend some essential element of marriage (c. 1101)

8. The Goods of Marriage • Permanence • Exclusivity/Fidelity • Fruitfulness of the union Marriage is unitive – for the good of the spouses, and procreative – open to life.

9. Marital Love Images Christ’s Love for Us • Free • Total • Faithful • Fruitful

10. Essential Elements of Catholic Marriage • Marriage as Covenant • Permanence in Marriage • Marriage as Partnership • Marriage as Sacrament • Marriage Continues Creation

11. Catechetical Segment – Determining the Format • Engaged Couples and their preparers have limited time together – an additional workshop may be considered a burden. • A resource document format allows for adaptability to parish situation. • Allows for customized preparation for each couple – meet them where they are. • Can be integrated into FOCCUS or PNI meetings. • Can be done with a mentor/sponsor couple. • Can be presented in a retreat or workshop format at the cohort level (along with the sponsor couple).

12. Marriage as Covenant – Key Points • Assume couples don’t have a personal relationship with God • Begin by explaining who God is • Explain the nature of God’s covenant • Explain why marriage is a covenant sealed by Jesus Christ

13. Marriage As Covenant • Assume couples don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ • Begin by explaining who God is • Explain the nature of God’s covenant • Explain why marriage is a covenant

14. The Value of Understanding Marriage as Covenant God’s covenant of love is eternal and immeasurable. While human love can never achieve the fullness of God’s boundless love, a covenantal approach to marriage enables couples to strive for the kind of self-giving love revealed to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

15. Questions to Consider • What are necessary qualities to live out the promises of a marriage covenant? • How might couples who understand marriage as covenant prepare for marriage differently? • What does a covenantal marriage look like? • Can a non-sacramental marriage (Catholic and non-baptized) be a covenant?

16. Permanence in Marriage – Key Points Marriage is permanent because… • God’s covenant of love is permanent • Jesus’ love for the Church is permanent • Marriage is a true sign of this permanence

17. From the Catholic Marriage Rite “Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”  

18. A Few Practical Applications • Daily prayer enables couples to invite God into their relationship so that their marriage and family life can become holy. • With the grace to forgive and be forgiven, couples can grow from conflict. • When couples unite their inevitable struggles with the cross, their suffering is redemptive and their marriage is strengthened.

19. Questions to Consider • How does the modern, secular view of marriage influence the notion of permanence? • How can we help couples to understand that a valid sacramental marriage is indissoluble according to God’s action (that divorce is not possible in a valid marriage)?

20. Marriage As Partnership -Key Points • Marriage is a “partnership of the whole of life.” (CCC #1601) • The marital partnership is a union of body, heart and soul. • Partnership presupposes a deep friendship between the spouses.

21. Marriage as Partnership – Key Points • Husband and wife are equal in dignity. Partnership implies mutual submission to Christ and mutual authority. • True unity in marriage requires sexual difference (complementarity).

22. Practical Applications • In a true marital partnership, the marriage comes first before all other human relationships. • All healthy, successful marriages involve dying to self, sacrificial love, forgiveness, and a daily decision to love. • Through each of these aspects of marriage, couples cooperate with God’s grace and are strengthened by it. • The marital partnership is exclusive – all sexual fulfillment is within the marriage. Pornography is a form of infidelity that damages the relationship.

23. Question to Consider • What does it mean to be a partner “of the whole of life”?

24. Marriage as Sacrament Marriage is a visible sign of the invisible reality of Christ’s love; it is a sacred union ordained by God that was raised by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament, and it gives grace.

25. Valid Catholic Marriage • A valid Catholic marriage comes into existence when a man and woman who are capable, • Give consent to a true marriage (permanent, exclusive, open to life), • And exchange this consent in the proper form for Catholic weddings.

26. The Three C’s of Valid Catholic Marriage • Capacity • Consent • Canonical Form

27. Capacity • Psychological capacity – emotional maturity and stability • Physical capacity – ability to fulfill duties of marriage • Freedom from impediments (e.g,. Prior marriage vows, vows in a religious order, etc.)

28. Consent • To a lifelong marriage • To an exclusive marriage • To a marriage that is open to children

29. Canonical Form • To be married in the presence of a Catholic bishop, or a priest or deacon delegated by either the pastor or bishop, and two witnesses according to the Order of Celebrating Matrimony.

30. Marriage as Sacrament • Outward sign • Instituted by Christ • To give grace

31. Outward Sign The love of the couple is the efficacious sign –it signifies and makes present the love of Christ for his Church.

32. Instituted by Christ • Jesus taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning. • Permission given by Moses to divorce one's wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts. • The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it "what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.“ (CCC #1614)

33. To Give Grace The sacrament of marriage is the imprint of God on the souls of the married couple…a seed sown in the soul bearing fruit through the whole of married life. Through the divine action of sacramental grace, they have something in their souls that truly unites them. (Catechetical Segment, #42)

34. Actual Grace versus Sanctifying Grace • We first receive sanctifying grace in Baptism, which removes original sin and gives us supernatural life. Sanctifying grace stays in the soul and makes it holy. • Actual grace is a supernatural “push” or encouragement from God. It acts on the soul from the outside.

35. Actual Grace The sacrament of marriage confers a strict right to all the actual graces necessary to lead a Christian conjugal life. It also confers the right to all the material and spiritual helps required for the establishment of a home(Catechetical Segment, #44).

36. Questions to Consider • How does sacramental marriage differ from civil marriage? • Why is full access to grace so fundamental to a sacramental marriage?

37. Marriage Continues Creation

38. Marriage Continues Creation – Key Points • The sexual encounter in marriage is sacred – it unites the couple and, if God wills, enables them to be co-creators with God. • Children are the crowning glory of creation – a gift from God (not a right). • Married couples are called to exercise responsible parenthood. • Families have a duty to the Church and society - they make God’s love present in service to others.

39. Responsible Parenthood • Christian married couples should be responsible in using the gift and privilege of transmitting life. • The Church affirms the couple’s right to determine the number of children and the distance between births. • The criteria for regulating birth is avoiding conception for good, not selfish reasons, without external coercion, using means that are morally acceptable in the Church.

40. Natural Family Planning • Natural Family Planning (NFP)is morally acceptable in keeping with the dignity of man and woman, respecting the natural, healthy functioning of the female body, and demanding mutual affection and consideration. • NFP is ecological, holistic, healthy, and an exercise in partnership.

41. Artificial Contraception • The Church rejects all artificial means of contraception – namely chemical methods (the Pill), mechanical methods (condom, IUD), and surgical methods (sterilization). • These methods separate the sexual act from its procreative potential, block the total self-giving of husband and wife, can be detrimental to the woman’s health, can have an abortifacient effect, and can be detrimental to the couple’s relationship.

42. Infertility All assistance in conceiving a child through research and medicine must be stopped when the generative bond of conception and parenthood is broken by a third person or when conception becomes a technological act outside of sexual union in marriage (CCC 2374, 2377).

43. Family as Domestic Church The family is a “church in miniature” – a domestic church. Every family is an image of God’s love in human fellowship; marriage is perfected in openness to others, to the children that God sends, in mutual acceptance and being for others.

44. Areas for Consideration – Common Pastoral Issues • Sex outside of marriage is considered a “grave sin” in the Catholic Church. Such grave sins cannot co-exist with sanctifying grace in the soul. • Grave sin also blocks the specific sanctifying grace of Matrimony. • The Sacrament of Reconciliation before marriage restores sanctifying grace. • Encouraging couples to learn a method of NFP helps ensure the availability of sanctifying grace.

45. Question to Consider/Q and A • What are the most important things that couples need to understand about Catholic marriage to ensure validity of the sacrament?

46. Catechetical Segment for Marriage Preparation • Peg Hensler, Associate Director for Marriage Ministries and NFP, phensler@dioceseoftrenton.org; 609-403-7156. • Rev. James Grogan, Pastor, Nativity Parish, Fair Haven, Diocesan Marriage Ministry Team Member, frjim@nativitychurchnj.org. • Deacon Dennis Slavin, Our Lady of Sorrows-SA Parish, Diocesan Marriage Ministry Team Member, dslavin@dioceseoftrenton.org.