The Tapestry of Friendship

1. The Tapestry of Friendship Ellen Goodman Lectured by Wen Lanfang

2. Arrangement ( 4 periods/8 hours) Background information( discussion) 1) What�s friendship? 2) What can friendship give? 3) What makes a good friendship? 4) What�s the kinds of friendship? 5) appreciation of different friendship

3. Structure analysis of the text Detailed study of the text questions to comprehension difficult language points Supplementary reading After-class reading and discussion

4. What�s friendship? F: Friendly R: Respect I: Integrity E: Encouraging N: Nice D: Diversity S: Sincerity H: Helpful I: Individual P: Politeness

5. Respect Always treating people the way you would want them to treat you. Friendly A Friendly person should always smile and say hello when greeting other people.

6. Integrity Doing something good for someone when no one is looking. Encouraging Always lift up your friends spirits with positive words and actions.

7. Nice Always being courteous, pleasant, and never misbehave. Diversity Always respect others differences: gender, abilities, culture, race, and ethnicity

8. Sincerity Always speak and act genuinely. Helpful You should assist others when they are in need.

9. Individual Do not be a follower. Do not sacrifice character. Politeness Always show consideration for others.

10. In conclusion, be FRIENDLY, treat each other with RESPECT, act with INTEGRITY, be ENCOURAGING, be NICE, encourage DIVERSITY, act with SINCERITY, be HELPFUL, be an INDIVIDUAL, and show POLITENESS.

11. What can friendships give? Fun Ways To Share Feelings Learn New Skills Find Understanding and Support Ways To Feel Needed And Useful You Can Be Yourself

12. What Makes A Good Friendship? Shared Interests Shared Values Trust Honesty Respect Cooperation Reliability Support Understanding Sensitivity Forgiveness Tolerance

13. How to make friends? Go where people are most friends you make who have the same interests you do. Be a friend to yourself- don�t put yourself down. Be cheerful- smile, don�t always wait for the other person to speak first.

14. Be yourself- no one is perfect. Your friends won�t expect you to be, so it is best to just be yourself. Don�t expect perfection in your friends -like you, your friends will make mistakes now and then. Laugh with them about it, but don�t put them down. Friendship is give and take- friendship is sharing things like feelings, plans, and dreams. To make and keep a friend, you have to give as well as take. Learn to compromise.

15.  Realize you will sometimes disagree with your friend- nobody agrees all the time. Disagreements don�t have to mean the end of a relationship. Give your friend space- almost everyone likes to be alone sometime. Give your friend space to have other friends, too. Be choosy about your friends- real friends will not ask you to do things that are harmful and against the law. Let people know that you are interested in them. Don�t just talk about yourself; ask questions about them.

16. So----- TO HAVE A FRIEND�BE A FRIEND! Remember the Golden Rule of Friendship�TREAT OTHERS AS YOU�D LIKE TO BE TREATED! SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, A FRIENDSHIP IS WAITING TO START!

19. International Friendship Day  August 6 is International Friendship Day for 2006, time to recognize your friends and their contribution to your life. Friendship helps to bring peace and positively to the globe - a great reason to celebrate! Friendship Day occurs on the first Sunday of August - only once a year - so make the most of it! :) Friends come in many shapes, sizes and guises: school friends, work colleagues, siblings, partners, parents, pets and neighbors. Pull out all the stops and let your friends know they are truly appreciated! http://www.friendship.com.au/friendday.html

20. Appreciation of friendship ?????? Westlife seasons in the sun

24. The kinds of friendships Same Gender Male-female Group

25. Friendship between male and female

26. Warm-up questions What�s your standard when you choose friends? Do you think there are real friendship between men and women? Please do the translation in page 73

27. Friendship between Women A woman didn�t come home one night.� The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend�s house.� Then man called his wife's 10 best friends.� None of them knew anything about it.

28. Friendship between Men A man didn�t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he slept over at a buddy's house.� The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.� Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed he was still there!

29. GENDER PATTERNS IN FRIENDSHIPS Women's Friendships Men's Friendships Friendships Between Men and Women Gender Patterns in Friendships Between People With and Without Disabilities After-class reading

30. Life is like an echo. What you give is what you will get. What you send is what you will receive.

31. About the author Ellen Goodman She is an American original. Her abundant talents--intellect, wit, style, news judgment--set her apart with an �lan uniquely her own. Her Pulitzer Prize winning commentary appears in more than 375 newspapers.

32. http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/goodman/ Ellen Goodman, is a Boston Globe Online columnist and a stylish writer with a humanizing touch on any issue, public or personal. She is widely acclaimed as a voice of sanity, and readers depend on her to help them make sense of their changing lives and relationships.

33. About the text This text is taken from Close to Home, which was published by The Boston Globe Company / Washington Post Writers Group in 1979. This text distinguishes two kinds of friendship: that between men and that between women. It can be divided into four parts.

34. Part I paragraph 1-2 In this part the author reveals what kind of film the woman had just seen and what attitude she had to it. What kind of film did the woman see? What did she think of it?

35. Part II paragraph 3-6 This part describes the woman�s observation of the shift of focus of the cinema and advances the argument for the distinction between the two types of friendship: that between men and that between women. Why does the author list the movies the woman had seen?

36. What led the woman to think that the cinema has drastically shifted its focus? What was the shift? Do you agree on the point of the distinction between the two types of friendship? Give your own reasons.

37. Part III paragraph 7-18 This part discusses in detail the distinctions between the Male Buddiness and the Female Friendship. Generally speaking, the former is action-oriented while the latter is emotion-oriented, i. e., the Male Buddiness is based on the need for co-operation in the activities that men are engaged in or in the adverse situations they are confronted with. In contrast, the Female Friendship borders on love, the need for mutual emotional support.

38. What�s the fundamental difference between buddies and friends? What are the conditions of men becoming buddies and of women becoming friends? Why was the woman shocked by men�s description of friendship?

39. Part IV paragraph 19 This part is the Conclusion of the text, which restates the distinction between the two types of friendship. What ways do buddies and friends differ? Buddies are those you can do things together with in your lifetime, but friends are those with whom you can share roses and thorns in your life.

40. Language Work It was, in many ways, a slight movie. : In many aspects it was a simple, ordinary movie. big-budget chase scene: a car-chase scene that costs a lot of money

42. cosmic: 1) very great This earthquake was a disaster of cosmic scale. 2)�relating to the universe The other great cosmic reality is time. What happens in their lives is influenced by ~ forces.

44. Slowly, it panned across the tapestry of friendship: Step by step it gave an all-sided view of the complex structure of friendship�

45. tapestry

46. Tapestry A heavy cloth woven with rich, often varicolored designs or scenes, usually hung on walls for decoration and sometimes used to cover furniture. tapestry carpet???????????? tapestry satin ??? Something felt to resemble a richly and complexly designed cloth: the tapestry of world history.

47. Budget a family budget ?????? budget plan ???? You have a budget of letters on your desk. ????????????? Vt. budget one�s time ??????? vi. budget for the project ??????? Adj. a budget dress ?????

48. drastic adj. a drastic remedy ????? take drastic measures ??????[????] drastic purgatives ? ?? a drastic debate ????? make drastic change ??????

49. Flick: crack flip jerk snap strike By a flick of his whip, he drove the fly from the horse's head. ?????????, ?????????? He flicked at the spot with a napkin. ?????? ????????? to flick the switch ?????? He hit the ball with just a flick of the wrist. "?????????,???????"

50. He turns the pancake over with a strong flick of his wrist. ????????????? He swished off the tops of the grasses with a flick of his cane. ????????????? By a flick of his whip, he drove the fly from the horse's head. ?????????,??????????

51. Hair flicking

52. Trendy: trendy clothes. Look at that trendy couple - kitted up all the latest gear! ???????,??????? The trendy rock group is only a flash - in - the - pan. ???????????????

53. Regional stereotypes have been part of America since its founding. Westerners are trendy, Mid-westerners are dull, Northeasterners are brainy, and Southerners are lazy. (Brad Edmondson) ????????????????????�?????,??????,??????,?????(???�????)

54. casual trendy formal

55. Binge A drunken spree or revel. A period of unrestrained, immoderate self-indulgence. A period of excessive or uncontrolled indulgence in food or drink: an eating binge. To be immoderately self-indulgent and unrestrained: �The story is like a fever dream that a disturbed and imaginative city-dweller might have after binging on comics� (Lloyd Rose). To engage in excessive or uncontrolled indulgence in food or drink.

56. Binge on drink

57. a week-end binge ???? a shopping binge ?? a gambling binge ???; An eating binge ?? an orgy of spending ????? They went on a binge last night. ???????????

58. across millions of miles of celluloid .: in large numbers of movies Cull: choose from various sources Here are a few facts and figures I�ve culled from the week�s papers. It�s a collection of fascinating stories culled from a lifetime of experience.

59. Primal/ attachment Primal: Money was a primal necessity to them. ????,???????? attachment: an attachment to one's motherland ?????? the attachments of a bicycle ??????

60. Adversity affliction disaster distress grief hardship misfortune trouble n. Mr. Huang has been a good friend to me in adversity or in prosperity. ???????????, ??????????? A friend is known in adversity. ?????????(??)??? A-is a good discipline A-is a great schoolmaster. .[?]????????????

61. A-makes strange bedfellows. [?]?????,????? A-acquaints men with strange bedfellows. Palpable: a palpable mistake ????? palpable results ???????

62. confidence a vote of confidence ???? confidence in currency ?????? business confidence ???? I'm telling you this in strict confidence. ??????????

63. She lacks confidence in herself. ??????? We have full confidence that we shall succeed. ???????????? He has the confidence to deny it. ????????? with (great) confidence ?????, ?????

64. Restraint: incitement His rage was beyond restraint. ?????? I am under no restraint whatever. ???????? restraint of trade ???? restraint on export and import ?????

65. Grievance The trade union leader spoke about the grievances of the workers. ????????????? have a grievance against sb. ????; ?...???? pour out grievance ??

66. inherit only men� inherited a primal capacity for friendship: only when� were born with the instinctive capacity of making friends.

67. inherit: 1)receive (money, a house etc.) from someone after they have died When I took on the job of manager, I inherited certain financial problems. 2)��be born with (a physical or mental quality that a parent, grandparent or other relative has) Rosie inherited her red hair from her mother. The child has an inherited disease which attacks the immune system.

68. �through the wars: together � corporate or athletic or military: through the commercial, athletic or military strives together. They had to soldier together: had to struggle together

69. The only relationship that gave meaning to the claustrophobic life of George Babbitt had been with Paul Riesling. What made the claustrophobic life of George Babbitt meaningful had been his relationship with Paul Riesling; without his relationship with Paul Riesling George Babbitt would have found his claustrophobic life meaningless.

70. Structural Analysis In the text the author discusses the differences between a buddy and a friend in a forceful way. We can summarize the author�s viewpoint with the following sentence: A buddy is a fine life-companion but a friend is that part the race with which you can be human.

71. The more specific differences between a buddy and a friend are: 1.��Buddies bonded, but friends loved. 2.�Buddies faced adversity together, but friends faced each other. 3. Buddies seemed to �do� things together; friends simply �were� together.

72. Rhetorical Features To show the differences between buddiness and friendship effectively, the author of the text coordinates sentences in various ways. Sometimes he uses conjunctions such as but, yet and while. And sometimes he simply puts two clauses together without using any conjunction at all.

73. For example: 1) Buddies bonded, but friends loved. 2) Buddies faced adversity together, but friends faced each other. 3)Men affect each other in the reflection of noble or friendly acts, whilst women ask fewer proofs and more signs and expressions of attachment. 4)�Men often keep their buddies in these categories while women keep a special category for friends.

74. proverbs I cannot be your friend and your flatterer too.????????? Keep good men company and you shall be of the number.????,????? Life without a friend is death.????,????? He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.?????,??????

75. Everything is good when new, but friends when old.??????,??????? Friends agree best at distance.??????????? Friends are thieves of time.????????? Friends must part.?????????????

76. Birds of a feather flock together.????,????? Books and friends should be few but good.?????,?????? Choose an author as you choose a friend.?????? Even reckoning makes long friends.???,????

77. A good book is a good friend.?????? A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.????,????? hedge between keeps friendship green.???????? A joke never gains an enemy but loses a friend.????????,????????? A man is known by his friends.????????? 

78. A friend in need is a friend indeed.?????? A friend is easier lost than found.????,????? A friend is never known till a man has need.???????? A friend without faults will never be found.??????????

79. Friendship( ???) Snoopy�s friendship My friend Children friendship Of friendship (Bacon)