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Heir Conditioning: Leaving a Legacy That’s a Blessing and Not a Curse

Heir Conditioning: Leaving a Legacy That’s a Blessing and Not a Curse. Jack N. Alpern , Attorney and Family Wealth Counselor. Why We Work…. Why We Work…. Pay our bills. Why We Work…. Pay our bills Support our families. Why We Work…. Pay our bills Support our families

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Heir Conditioning: Leaving a Legacy That’s a Blessing and Not a Curse

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  1. Heir Conditioning: Leaving a Legacy That’s a Blessing and Not a Curse Jack N. Alpern, Attorney and Family Wealth Counselor

  2. Why We Work…

  3. Why We Work… • Pay our bills

  4. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families

  5. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment

  6. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth

  7. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth • Self-esteem

  8. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth • Self-esteem • Independence

  9. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth • Self-esteem • Independence • In sync with rest of world

  10. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth • Self-esteem • Independence • In sync with rest of world • Emulate a role model

  11. Why We Work… • Pay our bills • Support our families • Sense of accomplishment • Sense of self-worth • Self-esteem • Independence • In sync with rest of world • Emulate a role model • Enable us to help others

  12. Reactions When Gifts are Received…

  13. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude

  14. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment

  15. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay

  16. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment

  17. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity

  18. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment

  19. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem

  20. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem • Expectation of more

  21. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem • Expectation of more • Lack of ambition

  22. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem • Expectation of more • Lack of ambition • Unrealistic idea of independence

  23. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem • Expectation of more • Lack of ambition • Unrealistic idea of independence • Lack of value in what is received

  24. Reactions When Gifts are Received… • Gratitude • Resentment • Obligation to repay • Embarrassment • Insecurity • Lack of accomplishment • Lack of self-esteem • Expectation of more • Lack of ambition • Unrealistic idea of independence • Lack of value in what is received • Entitlement

  25. Symptoms of “Affluenza” • Lack of personal identity • Feelings of failure: depression and anxiety • The Perennial Child • Shame • Reclusiveness • No interest in work • Social and emotional isolation • Being used by friends • Loss of self-esteem • Loss of self-worth • Loss of self-confidence

  26. Fixing the Problem Importance of a Family Mission Statement

  27. Fixing the Problem Importance of a Family Mission Statement Decide: How much is ENOUGH for each to inherit

  28. Fixing the Problem Importance of a Family Mission Statement Decide: How much is ENOUGH for each to inherit Have a “Fire Drill” Practice investment management with them NOW

  29. Fixing the Problem Importance of a Family Mission Statement Decide: How much is ENOUGH for each to inherit Have a “Fire Drill” Practice investment management with them NOW Staggering the receipt of wealth

  30. Fixing the Problem Importance of a Family Mission Statement Decide: How much is ENOUGH for each to inherit Have a “Fire Drill” Practice investment management with them NOW Staggering the receipt of wealth Matching/Ambition Trusts

  31. Putting It All Together… The Donor Advised Fund

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