CLCNY Practice

1. Can We All Just Get Along?“Including the Child’s Voice in Custody and Visitation Mediation”A case study

2. CLCNY Practice our case study • Our Practice • Extralegal – What is that? • Voice of Reason • Role of AFC – Understanding and Advocating the Children’s Position • Appearance of Neutrality • Communicate our client’s voice • High quality representation • Integrate legal representation with social work • Listen to our clients • Develop the client’s sense of participation

3. High Conflict How do you approach a conflict case?  Do you know one when you see one?  Are they that easy to spot?

4. Possible Contributing Factors • Court System • Responsibility and Transference in Conflict • Attorneys, Parties, and Collaterals • Dysfunctional Relationship • Mental Disorders • Allegations • Criminal • Substance abuse • Domestic violence • Child abuse or neglect • Alienation

5. It Looks Like High Conflict – But is it? • Traumatic separation • Handling a child’s feelings vs. parent’s own emotional trauma • What makes these parents different

6. Issue Spotting • Religion • Mental Illness • Relocation • Allegations of Parental Interference and Alienation • Interfamilial Conflict

7. Behaviors to Look For Confiding in Child Asking Child to Spy Asking Child to Keep Secrets Referring to Targeted Parent by First Name Referring to SM or SF as Mom or Dad Withholding medical, social or academic information Changing Child’s Name Cultivating Dependency • Badmouthing • Limiting Contact • Interfering with Communications • Interfering with Symbolic Communication • Telling Child Targeted Parent Does not Love them • Forcing Child to Choose • Creating Impression Targeted Parent is Dangerous

8. Resolution in the Life of a Case • 10-15% • 50-55% • 20% • 10% • Filing • Settlement & Conferencing • Forensics • Trial

9. Our Case Study News Clip 1 our case study

10. Our Case Study News Clip 2 our case study

11. Case Study: Boonton NJ Shooting our case study • Immediately after the shooting • Funeral • Request for Visits • 40 Day Mourning Period • Filings

12. Court Intervention and Reaching an Interim Decision • Appointment of AFC • News Media • Friends and Family • Heightened Emotions Fueled Allegations • Scheduling of Emergency Hearing

13. Headlines On Custody Filings and Allegations our case study • The lawyer quoted the little boy saying, "If I would leave my seat, they would kill me the way they killed my mother.” • "There is a history of criminal misconduct and a history of domestic violence...It's not a healthy household for these children to be in."

14. CLCNY Team and Roles • Holistic Team • Gathering information – needs and wants of the child • Listen • Use the Information to assess dynamics and aid resolutions • How each family can meet and are willing to meet those needs • Service Referrals • Voice of Reason

15. Opponents to Voice of Reason • Representation by competing adversaries is the most reliable method of establishing the necessary facts upon which to base subsequent decision making

16. Tag Teaming our case study • Legal • Social Worker • Cultural

17. Strategy our case study • Voice/Participation • Interpersonal Respect • Trustworthiness

18. Voice / Participation our case study • “People feel more fairly treated if they are allowed to participate in shaping decisions that affect the resolution of their problems or conflicts”

19. Voice / Participation Legal our case study • Individualism • Trusted members of the family or other support system • When people feel that they have not been heard and respected in a legal setting, they are less likely to respect and abide by the outcomes.

20. Voice / Participation Social Work our case study • Engagement • Relationship with Children • Frequency of Contact • Child Development • Understanding of Family • Going beyond interviewing

21. Voice/Participation Cultural - Language our case study • Unfamiliar with the English Language and American Jurisprudence • Use of a Skilled Interpreter • Juggle Objectives • Specific Instructions • Familiar Face • Listen to Everything

22. Voice/Participation Cultural Whose Voice Is Heard? our case study • Paternalism • Figurehead • Every Family Member Individually and Collectively • Different Roles, Knowledge and Concerns • Voice of the Women • Voice of the Men

23. Interpersonal Respect our case study • “Studies suggest that being treated politely, with dignity and respect, and having respect shown for one’s rights and status within society, all enhance feelings of fairness”

24. Interpersonal Respect our case study • Judgmental and driven by self interest • Collaboration needs to be mutuality and respect • Providing acceptance, empathy and encouragement

25. Outcome - Trust our case study Bridging the Gap

26. Negotiating Interim Agreement our case study • 40 Hours of Interviewing • Collaterals • Field Work • Potential Obstacles • Bail Hearing/Criminal Case • ACS • Media/Social Media • Legal Posturing • Development of Position • Final Meeting

27. Interim Agreement • Family Time – Alternating Weeks • Continuity of Care • Therapy • Bail Request • Appearance of Cooperation • Court Appearance

28. Neutralizing and Normalizing our case study • Therapy • Focusing on Parenting • School • Continuous Contact • Addressing Agreement and Concerns • Gradually Stepping Back • Promoting Communication • Criminal Case Polarized • Forensic Evaluation

29. Final Settlement our case study • Meetings and Roles • FOG and Visitation • Parenting • Father’s Release • Change in Visitation • Change in Circumstances

30. General Lessons our case study • Early Identification and Acceleration • Frontloading and Planting the Seed • Impact of Cultureand Social Media • Neutralizing and Normalizing • Resources • Education • Communication • Fostering Reconciliation

31. Recent Updates and Q&A our case study • Criminal Court Case • Family Court Case

32. The Children’s Law Center 718-522-3333 Dawn J. Post dpost@clcny.org Michelle Grasso mgrasso@clcny.org Saira Khan skhan@clcny.org CLC NY CONTACT