Stories and Strategies from the South

1. Stories and Strategies from the South Brian Law School Counselor ASCA President 2010-2011

2. “This is not Atlanta, San Francisco, Dallas or Chicago, this is South Georgia.” Principal’s remarks when he told an employee that he could not be a gay school counselor in a southern Georgia school system. * *

3. A Picture can Change a Life Timeline: • Photo Taken January 2001 • Discovered on Yahoo.com June 2001 • Admit and Hold on for the ride – July 27, 2001 • State Elem Counselor of Year – November 2003 • National Elem Counselor of Year – March 2004/June 2004 • Denial of High School transfer May 2004 • Transfer to Middle School June 29, 2004 • Change systems May 2005- High School • GSCA President 2008-2009 • ASCA President Elect 2009-2010 • Top 10 in Nation January 2009 • State High School Counselor of Year November 2010

4. One System Versus Another CC VCS It is the policy of the Valdosta City Board of Education not to discriminate on the basis of gender, age, race, color, disability, religion, national origin or sexual orientation in the educational programs and activities or admissions to facilities operated by the Valdosta City Board of Education or in the employment practices of the Valdosta City School System. The Board shall comply with all aspects of Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Amended, 1973), Title II of the Vocational Education Amendments of 1976, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Amended, 1974), Title XXIX of the Age Discrimination Act of 1967, Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, and Americans with Disabilities (ADA) Act 1991. Colquitt County Board of Education does not discriminate againstapplicants or employees on the basis of race, color, national origin,creed, marital or family status, gender, age or handicap.

5. 2009-10 Georgia High School Counselor of the Year Principal Gary Boling attending the awards ceremony with his wife to support the employee – unconditionally.

6. A Forged Email- “I’m coming out..again”

7. Policies protect but do not end discrimination • October 30, 2008 – 5:00 AM Email is sent. • 7:00 AM – School Counselor and Security Guard learns of email from others. • 7:08 AM – School Counselor gets discriminating email from teacher. • 7:30 AM- School Counselor and Security Guard have conversation of support from Principal. • 8:00 AM- Principal, Gary Boling, sends a very supportive memo to staff explaining how this email was an act of a “coward” and that he intended to “investigate, find, and punish the person who was responsible”. • Investigation begins with Police Department. Superintendent and Board of Education is notified. • Two IP addresses are discovered, but results were unfounded. • A wealth of support and empathy pours out from colleagues. • School Counselor becomes Top 10 in Nation January 2009 and State High School Counselor of the Year November 2010. • Security Guard Wins Key to City for bravery in an unrelated case May 2009.

8. Mr. Law, Principal, Gary Boling and Mr. Watson chaperons the prom 04-2009

9. “God Hates Fags” Rev. Fred Phelps of Kansas----Speak OUT: Advocate AgainstWestboro Bapt. Church of Topeka, KS LETTER FROM South Georgia GLBTQI Ministry: Several of our members attended the funeral services of fallen Sgt. Ellis. This service was one that Rev. Fred Phelps had listed on his website to be picketed. They did not show, however, there were 100's of supporters that did show to demonstrate their support for the family during this time of loss. The Valdosta-Lowndes County Police Department was well prepared and only allowed those supporters with American Flags on the church grounds. They also had an area setup for those supporters who did not have flags. Let's not leave out the area that they set aside especially for Rev. Phelps and his family. This area was not a large area and was graciously filled with all the comforts that a South Georgia Swamp has to offer. It was in a drainage field that had sewage runoff, cat tails, and even a couple of snakes. I had a feeling that our South Georgia Rednecks were not going to allow Rev. Phelps to come for a visit without rolling out the welcome mat. All jokes aside, I do pray that God will open the eyes of Rev. Phelps and his followers. Love in Christ, Rev. Jerry Ethridge CA Attacked • WBC TO PICKET THE FAG-INFESTED SACRAMENTO COMMUNITY THEATER & THEIR PRODUCTION OF THE FILTHY FAG PLAY, "RENT" • 1400 J Street, Sacramento, CA • Friday, February 5, 7:15 to 8:00 p.m. • The children of this generation have been corrupted from the womb by parents who despise them (Ps. 58:3). You’ve flipped God’s standard on its head, teaching your children that good is evil and evil is good (Isa. 5:20). WBC will be at the Randall Museum Theatre to show you brutes and your children the true face of obedience to God WBC WILL PICKET THESE FAG-INFESTED, PERVERT-RUN CALIFORNIA HIGH SCHOOLS Friday, February 5, 2010, from 3:00 PM to 3:30 PM Rosemont High School, 9594 Kiefer Blvd., Sacramento Friday, February 5, 2010, from 3:15 PM to 3:45 PM McClatchy High School, 3066 Freeport Blvd., Sacramento We will give your children an opportunity to see what truth looks like, the face of what they were entitled to have from every adult that ever touched their lives! GA Speaks up

10. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Sen. SaxbyChambliss R- GA, who sits on the SASC,  stated during today’s hearing that "the military must maintain policies that exclude persons whose presence in the armed forces would create unacceptable risk to the armed forces' high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion." And "the presence in the armed forces of persons who demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts would very likely create an unacceptable risk to those high standards." We find it troubling that Senator Chambliss appears to be now disregarding the opinions of the military’s highest ranking leaders in his attempt to justify the continuation of a policy of bigotry and discrimination in our armed forces. We hope that Sen. Chambliss will show integrity and change his position to support strengthening our military by repealing DADT. We also hope that Sen. Chambliss will support the almost 34,000 gay and lesbian Veterans in the state of Georgia, whom he represents (Urban Institute, 2004). Source: Georgia Equality 2-2-2010

11. Military Regulations • Hair • Uniform • Jewelry • Inspection • Etc. • NOT SEXUAL ORIENTATION Sometimes students may have to make choices. How can a School Counselor Help? “If you adhere to our basic values, then you should not be treated differently from anyone else….I intend to repeal the Don’t Ask Don’ Tell Policy…” President Barack Obama 01-27-10 10:13 PM

12. Terminology Gay - men with an affection/sexual preference for other men to the homosexual culture. Lesbian- acceptable term used to indicate female homosexuals Out of the closet – one reveals their sexual identity to others Down Low (on the DL) – the hiding of and privacy of feelings or actions towards a person of the same sex. More frequently used in the African American Culture. Bisexual – people whose affectional and sexual orientation is for members of both sexes. Transgendered – persons who have ambiguous or multisex genitalia. Homophobia – fear of aversion to homosexuals and homosexuality including fear of one’s own homosexual feelings. Coming out – The process of becoming aware of, and expressing one’s sexual identity to oneself and others.

13. Symbols

14. GLSEN’s From Teasing to Torment: A Report on School Climate in GA • A majority of students reported hearing homophobic remarks, such as “that’s so gay” (82%) or derogatory terms such as “faggot” or “dyke” (75%), from students in their school. A majority (80%) reported hearing sexist remarks in their schools. • Negative remarks about a person’s gender expression, such as a girl acting “too much like a boy”, were also commonly heard in GA Schools- 66% heard negative comments about gender expression from their peers. • School authorities did not consistently intervene when hearing biased language in school. Less than a third students reported that teachers or other staff frequently intervened when hearing homophobic (23%), racist (26%), or sexist (30%) remarks in school. • Students heard biased language from school staff as well- a fifth (18%) heard homophobic remarks from staff. • Nearly half (49%) of Georgia Students reported bullying, name calling and harassment to be serious problem in their school, which was higher than for students nationally (36%). Only a third (34%) reported feeling very safe at school. • 48% of students reported they were frequently bullied or harassed based on sexual orientation. Source: Georgia Safe School Coalition 2009 via GLSEN (2006) http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584779,00.html

15. Basic Facts about Homosexuality • No one know what causes homosexuality (nature vs nurture). • Attempts to change homosexuals into heterosexuals have been largely unsuccessful (Conversion therapy). • Most homosexuals are unidentifiable by appearance or mannerism. • Homosexuality is NOT a mental illness. • Homosexuals are NOT sick, deviant or perverted

16. The Internal/External Experience Simultaneously struggling with self-identify as a homosexual and growing up. Internalized homophobia Harassment Social Isolation and Emotional Isolation Voluntary Isolation from peers, family and community Lack of healthy role models

17. Risk Factors School Counselors should know about LGBTQI Youth • Feelings of Difference • Lack of Social Support • School Performance • Homelessness • Substance Abuse • Suicide (4x more likely to attempt than heterosexual counterparts)

18. Coping Mechanisms Substance Abuse Promiscuity Suicide

19. School Counselors Lack knowledge of GLBTQ Issues Homosexual Biases Lack of Training

20. What Can School Counselors Do • Individual Counseling • Establish a rapport with homosexual students and create a comfortable atmosphere, the student will be able to ask questions, form opinions or ideas, and begin working towards a healthy self-concept. • For a student struggling with his/her sexual identity, a trusting relationship may be the only means of support. • The counselor may be the only person the students can confide in about their homosexuality.

21. . • Self-Image checklist for helping students who have low self-esteem • Look for indicators of suicide attempts or considerations and follow appropriate procedures for helping the student. • Guide the student through the “Coming Out” process. This is life long and the student will experience this again and again…when it is time.

22. What Can School Counselors Do? • Address the health issues which coincide with homosexual behavior • Sexually transmitted diseases (Be careful not to label a disease as a “gay disease”.) • Victimization • Alcohol and drug use • Physical or emotional abuse

23. What can School Counselors Do? • Parent Involvement • Provide support in dealing with their concerns and feelings of guilt, anger, confusion, and loss. • Provide accurate information on scientific research and “coming out”. • Refer parents to community resources such as PFLAG. • Offer suggestions in dealing with opposing views. • Aid their concern about HIV/AIDS. • Encourage them to make decisions that are in the best interest of their child.

24. What Can School Counselors Do? • Group Counseling • Confidentiality • Parent Consent • Community Support

25. What Can School Counselors Do? • Advocacy • Referral resources • Be a role model • Educate parent and school (professional learning) – cultural diversity training for staff • Atmosphere of office – “Safe Zone” – signs symbols

26. Create a Safe School • Classroom • Respect different points of view • Establish guidelines on name calling • Address name-calling immediately • Use teaching moments • Don’t assume all families are straight • Include gay and lesbian historical figures in classroom • School/District • Professional Learning • Address name-calling as soon as it happens and educate • Have LGBTQ books in media center • Sponsor diversity days • Review school forms for sensitivity to family structures • Support and create or maintain Gay/Straight Alliances • Include sexual orientation in all anti-harassment and discrimination policies • Use language in all district forms and newsletters that recognize that not all faculty, staff, and parents are straight

27. Solutions: When a Situation Arises: Questions to Consider • Am I aware of my own cultural biases and values? • Do I possess the skills and knowledge to handle the situation completely? • How would I respond if this were “any other student” or a student in a privileged group? • Are there any unique considerations that pertain to the LGBTQI student? “Remember it is not about granting certain populations “special” privileges; rather, it is about ensuring that all students feel safe and supported at school.” Source: Georgia Safe Schools Coalition, 2009

28. Advocating for Students • Girl’s Basketball Coach/School Counselor Publically stated, “ I am going to clean up the lesbian image of the basketball team this year.” • Students reported they did not try out for girl’s basketball for fear of being outed to their families or being cut for being gay. • School Counselor took a stand and advocated for students by taking issue to administrator and athletic director and sharing the system’s non-discrimination policy with the students.

29. Taking at Stand against a Parent for a child “ I want my daughter’s schedule changed so that she does not have classes or see that lesbian girl in the hallway who is trying to make her think she is a lesbian. I want her to eat lunch in the counselor’s office to keep her away from the gay agenda.”

30. I want to Die! From a student’s writing a teacher referred her to the school counselor. She stated that she wanted to die because she was going to Hell anyway. When asked why she thought that, she stated, “That is what the preacher said and a teacher who is a preacher told me to look up a Bible verse and read it.”

31. “Students don’t care as long as they know you care.” Brian Law • Students don’t care about your orientation as long as they know that you care and advocate for them. • We must let ALL of our students know that we care. • Advocating can be done with just a simple symbol. GLSEN.ORG

32. Little Things can Make A Significant Difference “School Counselors do not empower students; they merely create a space where students feel safe enough to empower themselves.” Dr. Anneliese Singh, University of Georgia http://georgiasafeschoolscoalition.org/

33. US Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools “Children can’t learn if they don’t feel safe. That is why we need school counselors in our schools to help protect and advocate for our student’s safety.” Kevin Jennings, Director of Office of Safe and Drug Free Schools – January 29, 2010 (Founder of GLSEN)

34. Legal: You got to Challenge to Win Pride V. White County School District When students in White County, Georgia attempted to start a GSA, the school board reacted by announcing it would ban all non-curricular student groups the following academic year. In spite of this announcement, other non-curriculum clubs continued to meet on campus. In response, the ACLU of GA filed a lawsuit against school officials for illegally banning the GSA (under EAA). The ACLU reached an agreement whereby the school board would enact an anti-harassment policy to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender students from bullying. School officials also agreed to provide faculty members with annual training sessions deigned to prevent anti-LGBTQQ bullying. Source: Georgia Safe Schools Coalition, 2009

35. Kerry Pacer – Student of White County High School who led the challenge becomes 2005 Advocate Magazine Person of The Year The small Southern town of Cleveland, Ga., used to be the kind of place where homosexuality was hardly ever talked about. When it was, it was denounced from the pulpits of the many fundamentalist Christian churches that share space with poultry farms around this rural municipality of two stoplights and about 2,300 residents.

36. Congratulations Austin Laufersweiler GLSEN Student Advocate of Year 2009 “Last year I was another gay student trapped in the proverbial closet…In spite of my pain and isolation, denial seemed easier than the alternative….I was bullied and called a “faggot”. I faced harassment in the hallways and was forced to change my route to class. Several days later I stopped by the SC office to ask about my schedule…I noticed a Safe Space Sticker on her door….presumably insignificant to most students, this sticker gave me a feeling of safety I had never experienced at school and it reignited within me that familiar hunger for change. I asked the counselor to consider being a sponsor of a GSA; she excitingly complied which led to: Day of Silence, Think B4 You Speak and modified Safe Space training for faculty members. I am working in the middle schools to do mentoring programs for LGBTQQ students and workshops for faculty members….and to think it all started with a sticker." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kftkpuoMLuk

37. Opposition ~ Take A Stand for Students

38. Organizations/Resources/Hotlines • American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) www.aclu.org • Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLADD) www.glaad.org • Gay & Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) www.glma.org • Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) www.glsen.org • Gender Education and Advocacy (GEA) www.gender.org • Human Rights Campaign (HRC) www.hrc.org • Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund www.lambalegal.org • National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce (NGLTF) www.ngltf.org • National Latino Lesbian and Gay Organization (LLEGO) www.llego.org • National Transgender Advocacy Coalition (NTAC) www.ntac.org • National Youth Advocacy Coalition for GLBT youth www.outproud.org • Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)www.pflag.org • Gay and Lesbian National Hotline 888-843-4564 • National Hotline for GLBT Youth 800-347-8336 • Trevor Helpline (24 hour suicide hotline) 866-488-7386

39. References • Gonisorek, J. (1998) Mental health issues of gay and lesbian adolescents. Journal of Adolescent Health Care, 9, 114-122. • Herdt, G (1989). Introduction: Gay and lesbian youth, emergent identities and cultural scenes at home and abroad. Journal of Homosexuality, 17, 1-42. • O, Connor, M. (1992). Psychotherapy with gay and lesbian adolescents , INS. Dworkin & F. Guiterrez (Eds.), Counseling gay men and lesbian: Journey to the end of the rainbow. Alexandria, Va: AACD. • Dillon, F.R., Worthington, R.L., Savoy, H.B., Rooney, S.C., Becker-Schutte, A. & Guerra, R. M. (2004). On Becoming Allies: A Qualitative Study of Lesbian-Gay-, and Biseuxal Affirmative Counselor Training. Counselor Education and Supervision, 43(3), 162-17. • Sobocinski, M. R. (1990). Ethical principals in the counseling of gay and lesbian adolescents: Issues of Autonomy, Competence, and Confidentiality. Professional Psychology, Research and Practice, 21 (4), 240-247. • Mauer, Lisa (n.d.) Ten Tips for Parents of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender Child. http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/experts/maurer2.htm Special thanks to Shanna Henderson, Tiffany Short and CatriceWarthen Valdosta State University Graduates of School Counseling, Valdosta, GA

40. Brian Law ASCA President 2010-11 Professional School Counselor 2009 ASCA Top 10 Finalist 2009-2010 Georgia High School Counselor of the Year 2010-11 Top 40 Educator in GA GA Safe Schools Coalition blaw@gocats.org 229-251-3306 (cell) 229-671-6000 Ext. 4004 (work) SCOY Video