Backbiting & Slandering

1. Backbiting & Slandering MLK Muslim Students Association

2. What is backbiting? • Backbiting means speaking about a person in his absence and saying things that he would not like to have spread around or mentioned.

3. Why do we do backbite? • We’re intelligent human beings and we use logic, reason, and rationality to guide us through life. So is it logical for us to talk bad behind someone’s back? • Why is it that our emotions and passion overcome our reasons? • What is the difference between an animal and a human? • An animal is guided by its emotions. A human is guided by logic and reasoning. • Conclusion: The more you backbite, the more you degrade yourself as a status of a human being. • Do we backbite because we find pleasure in it or because we’re afraid to confront the person?

4. Self-Evaluation • 1. Why did you backbite? • 2. Did you feel remorse afterwards? • 3. Did you think about your own flaws during, before, or after backbiting? • 4. Did you confront them? • 5. What would you change about the situation in retrospect? i.e. the situation itself, the aftermath/consequences, not backbite at all. • 6. What did you learn from backbiting? • 7. Is it a productive means of your time? • 8. If you faced your consequences of backbiting, have you ever done it again? Why or why not?

5. Quotes and Hadiths • “Who ever hides the fault of a Muslim, Allah (SWT) will hide his faults in the world in The Hereafter.” • Backbiting is forbidden in the Noble Quran and the Sunnah. The person who commits it is given the similitude of a person who eats the flesh of his dead brother.

6. Miscellaneous • When you point a finger, three fingers are pointing back at you. • When you talk behind someone’s back, your good deeds and transferred to them and their bad deeds and transferred to yours.

7. Definition of Gheebah When the Prophet was asked about backbiting, he answered: “To mention your brother in a manner which he dislikes”. Then he was asked, “What if my brother actually has (this failing) that I made mention of?” The Prophet said: “If (that failing) is actually found in your brother, you in fact backbit him, and if that is not in him it is a slander.” [Muslim]

8. Causes of Gheebah • Thirst for revenge. Backbiting one's brother and obtaining gratification from his anger. • Peer pressure. Desire to fit in with and be accepted by one's companions. • Desire to exalt one's self by degrading another. In the same way, one may become jealous when another is praised, and therefore seek to disparage him. • Jest and play. A desire to make others laugh. Some people even make a living out of this.

9. Why are we forbidden to backbite? • Islam is a religion of peace, love and compassion. Lies, suspicion, backbiting, slander and gossip are considered amongst the most destructive of major sins. • This is so because these sins cause hatred among the Muslim Ummah (nation), corruption, and lead to its destruction. • They cause hostilities between people of the same household, and between neighbors, friends and relatives.

10. What is an ideal relationship in Islam? • Islam demands that our relationship with mankind be one of sincerity and responsibility. It should be one where we have respect for the honor, reputation and privacy of others. • Islam teaches us that we are not only held accountable for our attitudes and actions, but also for anything over which we have control or influence in our society or the world around us.

11. Allah forbids backbiting • Allah states in the Quran: • "O you who have believed! Avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allaah; indeed, Allaah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful." [Quran 49:12]

12. Backbiting is worse than adultery • "Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allah will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allah until his companion forgives him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` as-Saghir, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

13. Minor Sins or Major? • Backbiting and Slander are Great Sins and Cannot be Treated with Indifference. • The Quran Says: • "When you received it with your tongues and said with your mouths that of which you had no knowledge and thought it was insignificant while it was, in the sight of Allah, tremendous." [Quran 24:15] • Many of us backbite and gossip without thinking. We think it is a minor matter, however, Allah reminds us to be careful, for even though we think we are doing something small, it is in fact very large in the sight of Allah!

14. The Best Muslim Defined • Prophet Muhammad was once asked: • "Who is the best Muslim?" • He replied: "He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands." [Muslim]

15. Are there other forms of backbiting? • Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is also a form of backbiting.

16. Hadiths • "Indeed, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Heaven. And, a man [continues to] tell the truth, until he is recorded before Allah as a truthful one. And, indeed, lying leads to evil, and evil leads to Hell. And, a man [continues to] lie until he is recorded before Allah as a liar.” [Bukhari, Muslim] • "Insulting a Muslim is impiety, and killing him is [a form of] unbelief." [Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi, Tabarani, Daraqutni.]

17. Cases in which Gheebah is permissible • One who has suffered injustice is entitled to mention the one who has committed injustice to someone who is capable of restoring his rights to him, such as a legitimate Muslim ruler or judge. • Seeking help to change an evil, or to reform the wrongdoer. • Asking for a fatwa (help). A person may say, 'My father/brother/wife has done such-and-such to me. What can I do about it? • However, it is more precautionary to avoid mention of names, for example by asking instead, "What is the verdict regarding a person who has done such-and-such?

18. …Continued • Warning a buyer that the merchant is a swindler, or warning a student that his teacher is an innovator or a deviant. Also, revealing the faults of weak narrators and forgers of Hadith, and giving someone a candid appraisal of a person whom the former is thinking of marrying. • If someone is commonly known by a nickname, although if there is some alternative way to refer to him, it is preferable. • Someone who sins openly, and has no qualms about his sins being mentioned. • However, it is not permissible to mention any of his secret sins. • "There can be no backbiting of one who casts off the mantle of modesty." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/519, from Bayhaqi.]

19. Cure for Gheebah • Realize that it exposes you to the displeasure of Allah, the Exalted. • Remind yourself that your good deeds will go to the person whom you are backbiting, and his sins will be borne by you. • Ponder over your own faults, and occupy yourself with correcting them. • Feel ashamed to discuss the faults of others when you, yourself, have so many faults. If you are rally free from fault, then occupy yourself with thanking Allah for His favor. • Just as you would dislike someone else backbiting you, out yourself in the place of the one whom you are inclined to backbite.

20. …Continued • Confront the person. However, take into consideration on how you approach them. • When you receive intentions/thoughts to backbite/commit gheebah, distract your thoughts. • Ask forgiveness and refuge from Allah. • A lot of the times we backbite because of the people we are around. Our companions affect the way we think. Change your companions if they affect you in a negative aspect.