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Mate Selection

Mate Selection

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Mate Selection

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  1. Mate Selection

  2. Most people of the world marry • About 3% of US population never marries • U.S Census 1999

  3. Social pressures to marry • Legitimacy of children/relationship • Property • Stigmas against singlehood • Need for intimacy • Division of our world into public and private spheres because of industrialization

  4. Who We Date

  5. Dating in the Past • 19th Century • couples get to know each other at parents’ home (for marriage) • 1920 • courting with adult supervision begins (for marriage) • 1950’s until 1970’s • traditional dating & going steady (for fun &/or marriage)

  6. Contemporary dating • Casual dating • Pack dating • Serious dating (for marriage) • Personal ads • Mail-order brides • Internet • Marriage bureaus (match makers) • Dinner dates • Proms and homecoming

  7. How We Meet • 66% of married couples introduced by someone they knew • 32% introduced themselves

  8. The more we change the more we stay the same…. • Heterosexual dating behavior is very gendered (traditional) • Nontraditional dating behavior can create confusion

  9. There are many fish in the sea, but most of us choose to stay in our own pond. Demmitt • Homogamy • marriage btw. people w/ similar characteristics

  10. Social class & Dating • Upper Class • Most homogamy • Parental control through exclusive neighborhoods, private schools, country clubs, etc. • Middle Class • More freedom from parents but less than lower class • More likely to meet at school & church, parents more likely to move away from “undesirables” • Lower-Class • Least likely to use structured activities for the encounters

  11. Race & Ethnicity • Multicultural love is more color-blind than marriage •  Education & Religion

  12. Heterogamy Marriage btw. 2 people w/ dissimilar backgrounds.

  13. Dating desirability level and the principle of least interest • Individuals tend to date within their dating desirability level. • The person with the least interest in continuing the relationship has the power to control it. • The high-status person has less to lose by discontinuing the relationship and can make excessive demands on the lower status partner. Baca Zinn & Eitzen, 2002

  14. Hypogamy • woman marries man of lower status  • Hypergamy • woman marries man of higher status • Occurs more frequently in patriarchal societies where women are evaluated in terms of their husband’s social status rather than their own. • Therefore, women gain and men do not lose.

  15. What we want in our partner’s

  16. Buss 1990 • 10,000 people in 37 cultures were interviewed •  All wanted • Love • Dependability • Emotional stability • Maturity • Kindness • Understanding

  17. Buss 1990 • Men want • Physically attractive females • Women want • Ambitious & industriousness males

  18. Mate selection around the world • Dowries • Transfer of goods/money from bride’s family to grooms • Bride price • Gift given by the groom to bride’s family • Arranged marriages