TheChoicesI Make Student Counseling Services CHOICES Webshop Series
Every day we make hundreds, if not thousands, of choices. Many of these choices are unimportant, but some have a profound significance on our lives. Every time you answer your phone, you’re making a choice. Every time you go to the gym, you’re choosing health. Every time you go to class, you’re choosing academic success.
The problem is that many of our choicesare unconscious or automatic, and we fail to see the longterm consequences of them.
Recognizing the broad range of choices available, allows us to actively engage in making decisions in our lives.
You have an amazing ability to shape your lifebecause you havechoice – • In your relationships • In how you take care of yourself – physically, emotionally, spiritually • In your attitude • In how you treat others
Every day, you make many choices that impact your relationships. • How much time to spend with a person • How to handle conflict • What kind of behavior is acceptable • When to leave painful relationships
Choices in Self-Care • Getting enough sleep • Avoiding over scheduling • Eating nutritionally • Exercising moderately • Accepting your body size and shape • Avoiding perfectionism
Choices in Attitude Optimism Hope Mindfulness Peace
If our values are poorly defined, we can become caught up in minor, daily distractions. We fail to keep our long term goalsinsight. We often feel dissatisfied and our lives and work seem empty.
If you are unclear about your values, your decisions become haphazard, shallow, or meaningless. One way to make better choices in life is toclarifyyourvalues.
Authenticity Balance Commitment Compassion Concern for Others Courage Creativity Empathy Excellence Fairness Family Freedom Friendship Generosity Genuineness Happiness Harmony Health Honest Humor Integrity Kindness Knowledge Loyalty Openness Perseverance Respect for Others Responsibility Security Serenity Service to Others
If you could only pick 10 of these values, which 10 would you pick? If you could only pick 5 of these values, which 5 would you pick? If you could only pick 1 value, which value would it be?
Turn them into behavior! “Values that we fail to reflect in our behavior are ultimately empty. To be meaningful, a value must influence the choices that we make in our everyday lives.” - Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz
If concern for others is a value for you, how is this reflected in your life? Are you making time for relationships? Do you set appropriate limits and boundaries in your relationships? EXAMPLE 1: EXAMPLE 2: If health is a value for you, what are you doing to maintain or improve your health? Scheduling time for working out? Limiting drug and alcohol use?
Growth Use images as reminders of your values. Family Curiosity Beauty
Practice thevalues that are important to you. extend a helping hand to someone in need stand up against racism & violence engage in dialogues, not arguments treat others with respect & dignity See the positive, laughwith others
Change your thoughts & you change your world. NORMAN VINCENT PEALE “Seek not the good in external things; seek it in yourselves.” EPICTETUS Collectquotesthatinspireyou. • To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt. • MADONNA “If you can’t be happy where you are, it’s a cinch that you can’t be happy where you ain’t.” CHARLES “TREMENDOUS” JONES
Be aware ofpeer pressure. There are times when we are not in touch with our values and we rely upon the reason and choices of others to guide our lives.
We may imitate, copy, or follow the behaviors, thoughts, and actions of others. We may want to go with the flow and don’t want to rock the boat. We may not believe that we have the courage to stand up for our beliefs.
When we follow others, we have forfeited our power of choice and sacrificed our values.
We compose our lives Moment by moment Choice by choice The choices you make today – about your relationships, your study habits, your self-care – have profound implications on your life.
“Live your dreamby making deliberate choices, not just responding to whateverlife throws yourway.” - MARCIA WIEDER
“A momentofchoice is a moment of truth. It’s the testing point of our character and competence.” - STEPHEN COVEY
Suggested Readings &Resources: • Covey, S. (1989). Seven habits of highly effective people: restoring the character ethic. New York: Fireside (trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc.). • Loeher, J., & Schwartz, T. (2003). The power of full engagement. New York: The Free Press (a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.).
The end. Illinois State University Student Counseling Services 320 Student Services Building Campus Box 2420 Normal, IL 61790-2420 p 309.438.3655 | f 309.438.3004 www. counseling.ilstu.edu Music: “Laendler in C Minor” and “laid_back_guitars” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 2.0” http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/