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By Tommy Nelson

Song of Solomon. By Tommy Nelson. 1. The Art of Attraction. SOS. The Author & Presenter. Tommy Nelson has been Pastor of Denton Bible Church in Denton, TX since 1977 He’s a North Texas graduate (like Dr. Phil) He got his Masters in Biblical Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary

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By Tommy Nelson

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  1. Song of Solomon By Tommy Nelson 1. The Art of Attraction

  2. SOS The Author & Presenter Tommy Nelson has been Pastor of Denton Bible Church in Denton, TX since 1977 He’s a North Texas graduate (like Dr. Phil) He got his Masters in Biblical Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary He’s been Married to Teresa Nelson for 38 years. They have 2 grown sons, and several grandkids.

  3. SOS Song of Solomon How many of you have read the “Song of Solomon” (aka, “The Song of Songs”)? If so, tell us something you know about it. One of the “Wisdom” books. Only 8 short Chapters Author & Date: Unknown, but many believe it to be Solomon (hence about 1000 B.C.) Very sensual & descriptive language between two lovers: a man and his bride. Strikingly little of the typical spiritual verbiage as found in most scripture (e.g. God, grace, mercy, sin, repentence, etc.)

  4. SOS Song of Solomon • Interpretation – Ranges widely • From OT times on, the Jews have viewed it allegorically as a relationship between Israel & God. It was read on the 8th day of Passover (but only by married people or those over 30 yrs of age). • The early church tended to view the writing as an allegory of the relationship between God & his OT people (Israel) and Jesus & his NT people (the Church) • Luther tended to view it as an allegorical illustration of God’s political provision for his nation, Israel. Lutheran traditionwent along with an allegorical interpretation. • In modern times, folks have been more willing to acknowledge the poetic and sexual language of the song, and apply it to literal lovers(gasp) while acknowledging some allegorical views. • Some have seen it as describing the coming of a maiden into King Solomon’s Harem. • Others have chosen to see it as a description of a God-pleasing loving relationship between a man (likely King Solomon)and his wife (Tommy’s preferred interpretation).

  5. SOS Song of Solomon • Theme & Theology • Oddly, although likely written by a man, the dominant voice used in the song is that of the female lover (with lesser dialog by the male lover, and a few voices of others). • Love, as God’s great gift, is the over-arching theme. • The woman’s voice picks up on love’s beauty, delights, exclusiveness (v 2:16), spontaneity, preciousness, and power. • In modern times, we identify these things as good things, as God intended them within the context of marriage. • In ALL times, man (and to a lesser extent women) have frequently violated this perfect picture.

  6. SOS Song of Solomon • Literary Figures • This is a book that even a secular literary scholar could appreciate for it’s poetic language. • It doesn’t take much imagination to see sensual language within the text (hence the reason why the church has struggled with what to do with the book for 3000 years). • The Author of this series (Tommy Nelson) has chosen to view it as a sequence of relationship steps from attraction to dating to courtship to marriage.

  7. SOS 6-Part Series The Art of Attraction: Looking for the Right Kind of Person The Art of Dating: How to Spend Time Correctly The Art of Courtship: Moving Beyond Dating The Art of Courtship: Moving Toward Marriage The Art of Intimacy: God’s Blessing on Sex The Importance of Purity: God’s Reasons for Purity

  8. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionOpening Questions When you first meet someone, what are you more attracted to: their looks or their character? (be honest) Now imagine yourself married with children. Which will be more important then: looks or character? Why is it so critical that we stay committed to our Christian standards in dating?

  9. SOS Part 1: The Art of Attraction • Questions Addressed in Part 1 • What does the Bible say about how I should start a relationship? • What do I do if I think I like someone of the opposite sex? What’s the next step? • Two Questions are Key to this Section: • What kind of person should I be attracted to? • What kind of person do I want to be attracted to me?

  10. SOS Part 1: The Art of Attraction The Text: SOS 1:1-7 (female voice) 1Solomon’s Song of Songs.2Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. 3   Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you! 4 Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers. We rejoice and delight in you; we will praise your love more than wine. How right they are to adore you!

  11. SOS Part 1: The Art of Attraction The Text 5Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon. 6Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.   My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected. 7Tell me, you whom I love, where you graze your flock and where you rest your sheep at midday.   Why should I be like a veiled woman beside the flocks of your friends? Now, let’s watch the video…

  12. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionBible Text Questions • What is the significance of the statement, “Your name is ointment poured forth” in verse 1:3? • The point is that you have a good “name” or good “character” or good reputation. • In verse 1:6, the maiden says, “My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me caretaker of the vineyards.” Why is this important? • The maiden of the Song is responsible and submissive to authorities in her life.

  13. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionReview Questions • What kind of a woman “veils herself by the flocks of your companions” in verse 1:7? • This is a woman that won’t compromise her character (e.g. “do anything” to get a man). • “A man is not ready to be a husband until he is a bride.” What is meant by that, and what should a man’s life and heart look like at that point? • It means he is a “bride” to Christ. He is a Christian who is FIRST and FOREMOST married to Christ, one who is lead by God. He has a heart after God, and it is reflected in the way he lives his life.

  14. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionReview Questions • What is a “rouge male” and what are the consequences of marrying one? • This is a man who does not know Christ and take his responsibility to Christ and loved ones in his life seriously. Tommy said this person will either “abuse you” or be “irresponsible” to you. (Discuss this.) • Why does Tommy say it should be a red flag if a girl rebels against her parents or other forms of authority in her life? • In marriage and in life she will always want to go her own way. If she doesn’t take direction from authorities, she likely won’t take direction from God either.

  15. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionKey Points • Looks vs. Character • Looks don’t ________.

  16. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionKey Points • Looks vs. Character • Looks don’t last. • Looks can __________ ______. Character will not.

  17. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionKey Points • Looks vs. Character • Looks don’t last. • Looks can deceiveyou. Character will not. • Looks are always _________ ___ by character.

  18. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionKey Points • Looks vs. Character • Looks don’t last. • Looks can deceiveyou. Character will not. • Looks are always cancelledout by character.

  19. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionKey Points • You’re ready to get married when you have these 3 things: • You have a profile of the kind of person you would like to marry. • You are not willing to compromise on that profile. • You have become the type of person that your “profile” will want to marry.

  20. SOS Coming soon… • Youth Group Tonight • Skiing/Tubing Next Sunday • Meet at church 3 pm • Ski/Tube 4-6:30 pm • Return to Church around 7 pm • Cost $10 – Need Waiver Signed • By tonight, let me know if you will be skiing/tubing next weekend. • In 2 Weeks: Super Bowl Party at Skarshaug Home

  21. The Art of Attraction: Looking for the Right Kind of Person The Art of Dating: How to Spend Time Correctly The Art of Courtship: Moving Beyond Dating The Art of Courtship: Moving Toward Marriage The Art of Intimacy: God’s Blessing on Sex The Importance of Purity: God’s Reasons for Purity Song of Solomon By Tommy Nelson 2. The Art of Dating

  22. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionIn Review • Over long haul, choose character over looks • Looks don’t last. • Looks can deceiveyou. Character will not. • Looks are always cancelledout by character.

  23. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionIn Review • To prepare for attracting someone • Have a profile of the kind of person you like. • Know what you can’t compromise on. • Become the type of person that your “profile” will want.

  24. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingHow to spend time together Have you ever been in a relationship and then broken up? Was it painful? What is dating for? Why is there so often hurt involved? In this message, Tommy defines a date and shows how this experience can fit into God’s plan for biblical love and romance.

  25. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingText: Song of Solomon 1:8-12 8 If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. 9I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh. 10 Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. 11We will make you earrings of gold, studded with silver. 12While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance.

  26. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingText: Song of Solomon 1:13-17 13 My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. 14 My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi. 15How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. 16How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. 17The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs.

  27. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingText: Song of Solomon 2:1-4 1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. 2Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens. 3Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.   I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4 He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.

  28. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingText: Song of Solomon 2:5-7 5 Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. 6 His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:   Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

  29. SOS His Banner Over Me is Love D (A7) (D7) He brought me to his banqueting table A (D) (Em7) His banner over me is love. (Repeat above 3x) A7 D His banner over me is love.

  30. SOS His Banner Over Me is Love D (A7) (D7) We are the sheep and he is the shepherd A (D) (Em7) His banner over me is love. (Repeat above 3x) A7 D His banner over me is love.

  31. SOS His Banner Over Me is Love D (A7) (D7) He is my beloved and I am His, A (D) (Em7) His banner over me is love. (Repeat above 3x) A7 D His banner over me is love.

  32. SOS His Banner Over Me is Love D (A7) (D7) He is the vine and we are the branches, A (D) (Em7) His banner over me is love. (Repeat above 3x) A7 D His banner over me is love.

  33. SOS His Banner Over Me is Love D (A7) (D7) He brought me to his banqueting table A (D) (Em7) His banner over me is love. (Repeat above 3x) A7 D His banner over me is love. Now, the video…

  34. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • How did Tommy define a date? • Sharing a common event with a person of the opposite sex (with no expectation of physical intimacy or a long-term relationship) • Why did Tommy distinguish between the noun “date” and the verb “dating”? What is the difference? • A date is an event. • Dating is a relationship. • What is the difference between dating and courtship? • Dating is a sequence of dates or events with the same person. • Courtship involves a commitment where the two people are going to consider the viability of a long-term relationship. It may involve gradual and limited—but appropriate*—physical intimacy. • *Appropriate: hug, holding hands, arms around shoulders, short kiss • What do you think of this?

  35. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions Tommy said “With the way dating works in our culture, many people have already been emotionally divorced three times before they ever get married.” What did he mean by that? Remember, our husband-wife relationship is meant to be a “copy” of our human-Christ relationship, so our “copy” ideally will be singular.

  36. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Verse 8 reads “If you do not know, most beautiful of women, follow the tracks of the sheep and graze your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. “ How does the man treat the woman in this verse? • Tommy (and others) sometimes attribute vs. 8 to the man. Most attribute it to her friends, “the daughters of Jerusalem.” • The woman is treated with respect & kindness • What effect does this have on the woman? • She is emboldened to get to know the man. • It’s kind of like a date—an opportunity to become acquainted or get to know one-another.

  37. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Verse 2:7 reads ”Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:   Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. “ Explain this verse. • The woman, in speaking to her friends, realizes the passion she has for her man. • She advises caution to her friends. Why? • The attraction between a man and woman is a God-designed thing. Some say this attraction is like magnets attracting. How so?

  38. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • How should the person you date affect your spiritual life? • Remember the race analogy. Ideally you are running a race, not to get married to an earthly spouse, but to get to heaven to your creator. • Whoever you choose to run that race with (who needs to be running the same race) should assist and encourage you along the way.

  39. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions Why is it important that the guy takes the leadership in exercising self-control in the area of passion? How can the woman assist in this? The TRICK is this: like magnets, we are not designed to resist God-given passion, so we need to avoid placing ourselves in positions where this passion is inappropriate.

  40. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Tommy said “When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid.” What 3 things did he say the coals are in a good relationship? • __________ • ________ • ___________

  41. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Tommy said “When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid.” What 3 things did he say the coals are in a good relationship? • Godliness • ________ • ___________

  42. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Tommy said “When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid.” What 3 things did he say the coals are in a good relationship? • Godliness • Respect • ___________

  43. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Tommy said “When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid.” What 3 things did he say the coals are in a good relationship? • Godliness • Respect • Character

  44. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingDiscussion Questions • Tommy said “When you are starting a fire, you need to get the coals burning down deep, not just on the surface with lighter fluid.” What 3 things did he say the coals are in a good relationship? • Godliness • Respect • Character • He said these are coals on which you can build a fire that will last a lifetime.

  45. SOS Coming soon… • Today: Super Bowl Party at SkarshaugHome • Starts at 4 pm • Pizza & Lemonade Provided • The cake boss is bringing a cake • Optional: Snacks to Share • Looking at possibly rescheduling skiing/tubing

  46. The Art of Attraction: Looking for the Right Kind of Person The Art of Dating: How to Spend Time Correctly The Art of Courtship: Moving Beyond Dating The Art of Courtship: Moving Toward Marriage The Art of Intimacy: God’s Blessing on Sex The Importance of Purity: God’s Reasons for Purity Song of Solomon By Tommy Nelson 3. The Art of Courtship: Moving Beyond Dating

  47. SOS Part 1: The Art of AttractionIn Review • Choose character over looks • To prepare for attracting someone • Have a profileof the kind of person. • Know what you can’t compromiseon. • Become the personyour “profile” will want.

  48. SOS Part 2: The Art of DatingIn Review A date is sharing an event with a person Datingis a sequence of dates or events with the same person: Non-Exclusive & Non-Intimate Courtship involves a commitment where the two people are going to consider marriage: Exclusive & Appropriate Intimacy

  49. SOS Part 3: The Art of CourtshipText: Song of Solomon 2:1-4 1 I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. 2Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens. 3Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men.   I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4 He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.

  50. SOS Part 3: The Art of CourtshipText: Song of Solomon 2:5-7 5 Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. 6 His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. 7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field:   Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

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