Plain Language

1. Plain Language

2. Presentation Outline Introduction Benefits of Plain Language Plain Language Principles Work with County materials, using Stylewriter

3. Presentation Outline Introduction Benefits of Plain Language Plain Language Principles Work with County materials; using Stylewriter

4. Introductions Logistics Goals for today Definition of plain language

5. Goals for today Know the definition of plain language, and the importance of audience Understand the benefits of plain language Recognize common style faults in County materials that decrease clarity Know how to use plain language techniques to improve clarity Understand how to use Stylewriter to improve style and clarity

6. What is Plain Language? Material is in plain language if readers can Find what they need Understand what they find Use it to fulfill their needs And they should be able to do this the first time they read or hear it!

7. The most important principle: Think about your audience! You must understand your audience’s knowledge of and familiarity with a topic. What is plain language for one audience may not be plain language for another audience.

8. Presentation Outline Introduction Benefits of Plain Language Plain Language Principles Work with County materials; using Stylewriter

9. Some benefits of plain language Plain language saves time and money for both the author and the audience. Plain language also results in better compliance with instructions. People think you’re smarter when you write in plain language.

10. Let’s talk about some examples.

11. Veterans Benefits Administration One office, in Jackson, MS, decided to rewrite one standard letter into plain language. The result –Significantly fewer calls from customers.

12. Fewer calls from customers

13. Federal Communications Commission Revised regulations about radio operations on pleasure boats to improve their clarity. A Washington-based firm studied the ability of users to find answers to questions in the old and new versions. The test groups included both new and experienced users.

14. Less time for users to solve a problem (in minutes)

15. Canadian Government An extensive project revising forms into plainer language and format. As a result, they saved time for their agencies and achieved a higher rate of compliance with requirements.

16. Name of Form Original Version Plain Language Version Operating Grant Application Staff processing time – 20 minutes Staff processing time – 3 minutes Grant Report 25% return rate 50% return rate Tree Nursery Order Form 40% error rate 20% error rate Shorter processing, more returns

17. British government The British government also had a huge “forms project” to redo many forms into plainer language and format. As in Canada, they decreased the workload of their staff and achieved a better response from the public.

18. Form to claim lost baggage Error rate Cost of rewrite Savings Old form 55% Plain Language form 3% $3,500 3,700 staff hours, $45,000 each year Fewer errors, less staff time

19. Veterans Benefits Administration Every several years the Veterans Benefits Administration sends a letter to all veterans, asking them for an up-to-date beneficiary. If a veteran dies and the beneficiary listed in his VA file isn’t valid, the VA must find a valid beneficiary. It costs the VA several thousand dollars to do the research to find a valid beneficiary.

20. Higher response rate, lower costs Estimated savings $8 mil every mailing cycle

21. Private sector Research project to study the effects of using plain language on the performance of a financial services company, BANCO. The researcher translated scripts used by Banco’s service staff to answer customer questions over the phone. Two groups of 30 subjects – one used the original document, the other the plain language version. (Neither had experience with the topic covered by the document.)

22. The PL group was 61.2% more satisfied with their documents than the original document group. The PL Group preferred all aspects of their documents. The PL group said their documents improved their ability to find, understand and use information required for their jobs.

23. Predicted improvements based on the two sample groups

24. Presentation Outline Introduction Benefits of Plain Language Plain Language Principles Work with County materials; using Stylewriter

25. Overview of Plain Language Techniques None of the techniques we’ll discuss define plain language – rather, they are ways to achieve plain language. Together, these techniques help you be clear and concise.

26. Use: Logical organization Informative headings Active voice Pronouns Lists and tables Common words

27. Avoid: Abbreviations, jargon, legal terms, Latin Confusing constructions Unnecessary words Information the audience doesn’t need Long sentences

28. A general principle – Less is more! Plain language usually – but not always – helps you be more concise.

29. Organize logically for the reader There are several standard ways to organize: Chronological Most important first General first, special and exceptions last If you find material more than once, suspect poor organization

30. What would you be looking for first if you had to go to these sites? Abducted child Building permit Dog bite

31. Headings There are three types of headings Questions – Why should we use headings? Statements – Headings help guide readers Topics - Headings

32. The most useful headings Are question headings, because people generally come to our documents with questions. But don’t make up the questions – use question headings only if you know the audience’s questions. Let’s look at a County document with question headings.

33. Use active voice The best sentences are like the ones you first learned in school. Subject, verb, predicate – Who, does what, to what or whom. We charged the incorrect amount.

34. Avoid passive voice Passive voice is one of the major problems of bureaucratic writing. Passive voice is harder to understand. Passive voice can confuse the audience because it’s not clear who does what.

35. What is passive voice? The actor follows the verb. Some form of the verb “to be” is combined with the past participle of another verb. The frog was swallowed by Fred.

36. Can disguise who does what: A frog was swallowed. Passive Voice Active Voice Makes it clear who does what: Fred swallowed a frog.

37. Is often longer: The application must be completed by the applicant and received by the grants office by June 1st. 17 words Passive Voice Active Voice Cuts the number of words: We must receive your completed application by June 1st. 9 words

38. Use pronouns to speak to the audience Research shows that people relate better to information that talks directly to them by using pronouns. Using general nouns such as “beneficiary” or “purchaser” requires the audience to “translate” before they can be sure you are talking to them.

39. How to use pronouns • Refer to your organization as “we” • Refer to the reader as “you” in the text and as “I” in questions • Make sure you define “we” and “you”

40. Let’s use pronouns and active voice to improve a couple of your sentences. In the event that a graffiti removal request is reported that may not be the responsibility of the Los Angeles County Department of Public Works, you will be directed to the appropriate agency.(33 words)

41. If you submit a graffiti removal request that is not our responsibility, we will direct you to the appropriate agency. (20 words)

42. Easy access to information and resources concerning long-term care issues for seniors and the disabled has been made available on a new website developed by the County Department of Community and Senior Services. (33 words)

43. We developed a new website to give you easy access to information and resources about long-term care for seniors and the disabled. (22 words) You can easily get information and resources on long-term care for seniors and the disabled on our new website. (19 words)

44. Do not use these “pronouns”! He/she His/her S/he

45. Using lists and tables Lists can be a very powerful way to convey information. Make sure that all the items in a list are constructed in a parallel way – each item should start with the same part of speech. Using conjunctions (“and”) and disjunctions (“or”) improperly can confuse the audience, and even give incorrect information.

46. Lists, cont’d Try not to mix “and” and “or” in one list. Consider this confusing list.

47. You may be able to receive a temporary supply of that prescription. You can receive a temporary supply if: • You are within the first 90 days of coverage under the new drug plan AND • You were auto-enrolled into the plan and they don't cover your drug OR • You didn't know that your drug wasn't covered OR • You didn't know that you could request an exception to the formulary.

48. You can read this list two ways: • It requires bullets 1 and 2; or just bullet 3, orjustbullet 4. It requires bullet 1 and bullet 2 or 3 or 4.

49. I would say: You may be able to receive a temporary supply of that prescription if you are within the first 90 days of coverage of your new plan. You must also meet one of the following conditions: • You were auto-enrolled into the plan and they don't cover your drug; or • You didn't know that your drug wasn't covered; or • You didn't know that you could request an exception for your drug.

50. Lists, cont’d • Don’t make lists too long Research suggests that 7 items is the maximum number of items that can be understood easily. For verbal delivery, I’d say 4 or 5 is the most you should use. You have lists much longer.