Oh No. . . What Do I Say to THIS ? Sue Bohlin

1. Oh No. . . What Do I Say toTHIS?Sue Bohlin Probe Ministries – Probe.org SueBohlin.com

2. Relating Our Faith to Tough Questions in Our Culture

3. “True for You, Not True for Me” • Jesus – faithful monogamy – priorities – coffee flavors • Absolute truth vs. personal preference: two different categories • Classical definition of truth: what corresponds to reality • New definition: whatever works for you (The Emperor’s New Clothes!)

4. Truth as “Whatever Works” • Gravity doesn’t work for me • “Red means stop” doesn’t work for me • “$1 = one dollar” doesn’t work for me • “Jesus as the only way to God” doesn’t work for me • Open marriage works for me • Making my own spirituality works for me

5. Bottom-Line Questions • “Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.” —City of Angels • The question is not “Does it work?” but “Is it true?” • Who gets to define reality? • The Creator of reality • Belief, preference, or truth? • Is it intolerance and bigotry to believe in absolute truth?

6. “My Husband Uses Porn” • It feels like an indictment on you, but it has nothing to do with you. • Compartmentalization of the male brain • Spiritual warfare: • Easy access 24/7 • No fear of rejection • No work (no relationship) • Brain chemistry (substance abuse)

7. “My Husband Uses Porn” • Ask him: “Would you be hurt if I had an affair with another man? That’s what it feels like. Betrayal and pain.” • Pornography is mental adultery. • “. . .but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matt. 5:28

8. Resources • Every Man’s Battle Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker • SettingCaptivesFree.com The Way of Purity online course (free) • Boundaries in Marriage Henry Cloud, John Townsend • Accountability is key

9. “Is Porn Grounds for Divorce?” • What is God’s heart? (not the cold measuring rod of a verse) • God hates divorce: it tears apart adult hearts and children’s hearts • Purpose of divorce: grace for one in bondage to a hard-hearted spouse [Jesus] said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” Matt 19:8

10. “Is Porn Grounds for Divorce?” • Some people are looking for an excuse, a loophole • God doesn’t do loopholes • He judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart

11. “Is Cybersex Really Cheating?” • Good definition of an affair: “secret intimacy” • Would your husband be OK with what you were doing if he sat next to you at the computer? • Whether you’re married or not, aren’t you being sexual with someone you’re not married to? All sex outside of marriage is sin.

12. “How Do I Treat Someone Who’s Gay?” • Wounded and deceived • Scars of rejection • How would Jesus treat them? "A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;” Is 42:3 • Brokenness manifests in a variety of ways • Jesus’ love is what they need to heal and grow

13. “How Do I Treat Someone Who’s Gay?” • You can accept and bless a person without blessing their brokenness • Make a distinction between the person and their behavior • The grace of acceptance is the safety net that allows us to try something new and frightening, like considering leaving a gay life.

14. “What’s So Wrong with Gay Marriage?” • Look at the big picture: what’s marriage for? • Provides a safe, stable environment to grow a family (basic social unit) • Natural outgrowth of the complementarity of male and female • Earthly picture of the mystical union of Christ and the Church

15. “What’s So Wrong with Gay Marriage?” • Homosexual relationships and heterosexual marriages are not equal and parallel relationships • “A façade of normalcy” • Gay marriage is a way to secure society's legitimization and approval of their relationships

16. “A Lesbian Couple is Having a Baby” • The baby comes first • “Every child should be welcomed and valued” • Celebrate the baby: the circumstances of conception are not his/her fault

17. What's the Big Deal About Evolution? • In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1 • Evolution was invented as a means of explaining life and its diversity without a Creator. • Mechanistic theory without a mechanism • Cannot produce or explain much of life

18. This church thing isn't really working for me, and I can't wait to graduate so I don't have to go. • So much hypocrisy in the church • Jumping through hoops • Personal, intimate relationship with the Trinity has been lost

19. Living with someone before marriage just makes sense, especially with the high divorce rate. • Change in the way we think about sexuality • Pickle principle • Marriage changes people. Cohabitation not the same • “It's my body, why shouldn't I dress the way I want?” • Cost of sexual energies outside of marriage

20. Twitter, Facebook, iPhone, iPods. That’s where I live. So what? • Sexting and texting: the dangers • Balance: the more technology, the less educated kids get • No silence, no solitude, no depth • Urgent vs. Important

21. How do I raise gender-healthy children? • Gender spectrum • Understand gender differences and celebrate them

22. I love Oprah. What’s not to love about her? • Spiritually dangerous • Turned from Christianity to New Age beliefs • “Jesus is not the only way!” • Opinions shaped by the world, not the Word

23. Is it a sin or lack of faith to take medication like anti-depressants? • Bio-technology: dominion over the earth • James: 5:14 seek medical help (anoint with oil) • They help us function • I don’t believe in counseling. Isn’t God my counselor?