Bullying and Taxing

1. Bullying and Taxing

2. For safe and healthy schools.. Understanding Dialogue Action

3. Making A Difference In BullyingInformation for Parents Prepared by: Heather Halman Coordinator of Educational Services May 1st, 2003.

4. What is Bullying? Bullying is a relationship problem The lessons that children learn early on school playgrounds transform and develop into other problems later in life. There is a clear negative impact on the development of both the bullied and the bully.

5. Key elements of bullying: • Bullying involves a power imbalance in which the bully has more power due to: • Age • Size • Support of the peer group • Higher status • Bullying is a repeated activity in which a child is singled out in a chronic manner. • Bullying has the intent to harm the targeted child. • Bullying includes: • Physical aggression • Verbal insults • The spreading of malicious rumors or gossip • Threats of exclusion from the peer group

6. Common Misconceptions About Bullying • children grow out of it • bullying is a natural part of growing up “boys will be boys” • ignoring bullying makes it disappear

7. What Does Bullying Look Like? • Bullying can be expressed: • Directly face-to-face • Indirectly behind the back • Sexually especially in later elementary and high school

8. Direct Bullying The most common form of bullying is overt and direct. This type of bullying has physically observable signs of damage ( physical injury, torn clothes, etc.) Everyone is aware of the identity of the bully. The following are examples of direct bullying: *open attacks *physical harm or threats *insults, taunts or name calling *telling a child that s/he cannot play

9. Indirect Bullying More difficult to recognize because the person being bullied may not be present when the bullying happens or may not know the identity of the bully. The primary purpose is social exclusion or the damaging of a child’s reputation or status. Examples of indirect bullying include: * spreading malicious rumors or lies * writing hurtful graffiti about a child * encouraging others not to play with a child

10. Is Bullying a males only issue? NO ! Observations of children’s behavior show that girls engage in bullying as much as boys. (Atlas & Pepler, 1998)

11. Sexual Bullying Sexual bullying occurs when one student is targeted with unwanted words, actions or images about sex. Examples of sexual bullying include: * unwanted jokes, comments or taunts about body parts * teasing about sexual orientation or sexual activities * passing unwanted notes or pictures *grabbing in a sexual way or forcing someone to engage in unwanted sexual behaviors.

12. Some Statistics By conservative estimates, 10% of school children are chronic targets of bullying, while the number may be as high as 20%. Almost all children have experienced occasional bullying or seen others being bullied. Each time a child is successful in the attempt to bully- his/her power increases

13. Developmental Perspectives The use of power and aggression in bullying is a key component of sexual harassment, dating aggression, workplace harassment, marital aggression, child abuse and elder abuse. • Studies reveal that in bullying situations the victim tries a social skills strategy each time- • Ignoring • Walking away • Using your words Children require adult help to gain their power and reduce their negative power of the bully.

14. Bullying is a Systemic Problem • Bullying does not occur in isolation and interventions must include: peers, school, parents community and society • Peers (witnesses) play an important role in promoting bullying problems- even when they do nothing. • Peers are present in up to 85% of bullying episodes. • Peers often pay positive attention to the bully. • In 75% of incidents, when peers join in, the level of arousal of the bully increases.

15. Who is at-risk for bullying and taxing? 75% of students experience no problems 15% of students have occasional difficulties 10% of students are at-risk

16. Four Questions To Ask • How long has the problem gone on? (duration) • How frequent are the incidents? (daily, weekly, monthly etc.) 3. How severe is the bullying? (verbal, physical?) • How pervasive is the bullying? i.e. how many places does it happen? in class? on the playground? on the school bus? with siblings at home?

17. Risk Factors for Bullying and/or Victimization • Characteristics of Bullies: • exhibit aggressive tendencies • have experienced rejection • are marginalized • have poor social skills • lack home support • have poor impulse control • lack anger management skills • lack empathy skills

18. Risk Factors for Bullying and/or Victimization • Victims: • have reputation problems • have experienced rejection • are isolated or marginalized • have low self-esteem

19. Peers Are Important • Peers presently intervene in 10-20% of incidents. • More frequent than teachers- who intervene in approximately 4-10% of incidents.

20. Peers Are Important IN FACT: Peer interventions are successful in stopping bullying within 10 seconds in 57% of episodes! Bullying is about dominance, so when a peer intervenes or questions the bully, the power and dominance of the bully decreases.

21. Are There Harmful Consequences? • For Children Who Bully- Aggressive behavior in childhood persists into adulthood. Olweus (1991) found that 60% of males identified as having serious bullying problems between 6th and 9th grades had at least one criminal conviction by age 24. As these students reach the upper grades they are more inclined to engage in aggressive behavior- a pattern contributing to the development of adolescent gangs.

22. Are There Harmful Consequences? Victims of bullying often experience: severe ostracization peer rejection low self-esteem depression loneliness and anxiety insecurity Research has also established a link between being bullied and having both emotional and academic difficulties.

23. Protective Factors For Bullying And Victimization All children must be given an arsenal of strategies and skills. • Social Skills- social awareness problem solving strategies assertiveness training emotional regulation communication and behavior strategies • Language Skills- communication abilities expressive abilities to break the Wall of Silence

24. Parents, Teachers And Communities As Partners Parents must strive to: provide a supportive, warm and consistent home environment foster positive attitudes and beliefs teach resilience in the face of adversity guard against over-protectiveness take an active and pro-active approach

25. Warning Signs • Shows a disinterest or refuses to go to school. • Takes an unusual route to go to school. • Withdraws from activities- wants to be alone. • Is hungry after school- not eating at lunch hour. • Goes directly to the bathroom when coming home from school. • Is sad, sullen or scared after phone calls, e-mails. • Problems sleeping, headaches, stomachaches. • Stops talking about peers and daily activities • Has injuries not consistent with explanation. • Uses demeaning language when referring to peers.

26. Do’s for the bullied child and their parents. • Assure your child that you believe them and that they are not alone with the problem. • Affirm that this is not their fault. • Establish that there things that can be done and establish a plan. • Report the bullying to the school.

27. Don’ts for the bullied child and their parents • Don’t minimize or rationalize the bully’s behaviour. • Don’t rush to solve the problem for your child- unless they are in physical danger. • Don’t tell your child to avoid the bully. • Don’t tell your child to fight back. • Don’t confront the bully or the bully’s parents alone.

28. Parents, Teachers And Communities As Partners Teachers and other adults must strive to: model positive problem solving skills be consistent and fair model respect invite open discussions help children develop empathy for differences walk the talk

29. Parents, Teachers And Communities As Partners School communities must strive to: gather information andevaluate the situation- pre and post testing adopt a multi-faceted program intervene early establish clear school-wide and classroom rules about bullying teach peer intervention skills support students who are “at-risk”

30. What Skills Do Children Need to Cope with Bullying? • Assertiveness Training- When children use problem solving strategies such as assertively standing up for themselves, the bullying tends to end sooner. • Friendship Skills- Friendship plays an important role in both preventing bullying and in helping children cope. Children with at least one friend are less likely to be bullied and having a friend decreases the effects of the bullying. Peers must strive to: be part of a school culture where it is “cool to help others”

31. Where Do We Go From Here? The trouble with bullying is that it often works. We can make a difference through: • Programs in schools • Adult leadership and commitment. • Promoting cultures of awareness and openness. • Commitment to changing attitudes and behaviors • Teaching children to be responsible bystanders • Societal commitment of resources

32. Food For Thought Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it politic? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular- but one must take it because it is right. Martin Luther King

33. Bullying and Taxing