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This presentation by Jamie Knopf explores marital disaffection, defined as the gradual loss of emotional attachment. It examines a study involving 49 spouses and identifies three phases of disaffection: Disappointment, the transitional state between disappointment and disaffection, and full disaffection. Key factors contributing to disaffection include lack of emotional intimacy, ineffective conflict resolution, and prioritizing individual happiness. The presentation underscores the importance of marital support, counseling, and spiritual guidance to restore love and connection in relationships.
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When Love Dies Presentation by Jamie Knopf PSY 546 Week 7 Additional Assignment
What is marital disaffection? • It “is the gradual loss of an emotional attachment...” (Kayser, 6)
The demographics of the study • 49 spouses • Ages: 21-68 • None were married to each other • Years married to their partner: 2-39
The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment
Disappointment • Feelings: • Anger, hurt, disillusionment. • Thoughts: • Awareness, unmet expectations, assuming responsibility. • Behaviors: • Attempts to solve problems, please partner, avoids and passively copes.
The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment • Phase Two: Between disappointment and disaffection.
Between Disappointment & Disaffection • Feelings: • Intense anger & hurt • Thoughts: • Negative traits are pattern; evaluating rewards and costs; considering staying or going • Behaviors: • Attempts to solve, but more directly; begins withdrawal from marriage
The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment • Phase Two: Between disappointment and disaffection. • Phase Three: Reaching disaffection
Reaching Disaffection • Feelings: • Anger, apathy, hopelessness • Thoughts: • Planning to end marriage; still evaluates costs & rewards; focusing on negatives & blaming the partner • Behaviors: • Actions to dissolve marriage; problem solving; seeks counseling
What causes disaffection? • Mutuality and control • Lack of emotional intimacy • Ineffective conflict resolution • Attributions for problems • Individual Happiness more important • Alternative attractions
For the CFLE • Importance of premarital ministry. • Marital support and ministry at the church or community organization. • Marriage resources.
Most importantly… • “ Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ love us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” –Ephesians 5: 1-2
Reference • Kayser, Karen. (1993). When Love Dies. The Guilford Press, New York, NY.