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When Love Dies

When Love Dies. Presentation by Jamie Knopf PSY 546 Week 7 Additional Assignment. What is marital disaffection?. It “is the gradual loss of an emotional attachment...” (Kayser, 6). The demographics of the study. 49 spouses Ages: 21-68 None were married to each other

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When Love Dies

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  1. When Love Dies Presentation by Jamie Knopf PSY 546 Week 7 Additional Assignment

  2. What is marital disaffection? • It “is the gradual loss of an emotional attachment...” (Kayser, 6)

  3. The demographics of the study • 49 spouses • Ages: 21-68 • None were married to each other • Years married to their partner: 2-39

  4. The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment

  5. Disappointment • Feelings: • Anger, hurt, disillusionment. • Thoughts: • Awareness, unmet expectations, assuming responsibility. • Behaviors: • Attempts to solve problems, please partner, avoids and passively copes.

  6. The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment • Phase Two: Between disappointment and disaffection.

  7. Between Disappointment & Disaffection • Feelings: • Intense anger & hurt • Thoughts: • Negative traits are pattern; evaluating rewards and costs; considering staying or going • Behaviors: • Attempts to solve, but more directly; begins withdrawal from marriage

  8. The phases of marital disaffection • Phase One: Disappointment • Phase Two: Between disappointment and disaffection. • Phase Three: Reaching disaffection

  9. Reaching Disaffection • Feelings: • Anger, apathy, hopelessness • Thoughts: • Planning to end marriage; still evaluates costs & rewards; focusing on negatives & blaming the partner • Behaviors: • Actions to dissolve marriage; problem solving; seeks counseling

  10. What causes disaffection? • Mutuality and control • Lack of emotional intimacy • Ineffective conflict resolution • Attributions for problems • Individual Happiness more important • Alternative attractions

  11. For the CFLE • Importance of premarital ministry. • Marital support and ministry at the church or community organization. • Marriage resources.

  12. Most importantly… • “ Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ love us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” –Ephesians 5: 1-2

  13. Reference • Kayser, Karen. (1993). When Love Dies. The Guilford Press, New York, NY.

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