Words of Encouragement

1. Words of Encouragement How to influence your daughter toward greatness through the power of action and words.

2. Parent-child relationship and Parental modeling • A child’s self image and gender-identity begins with parent-child relationships and most children will pattern their interactions and gender-role identity by modeling their parents’ behaviors. • If within the home, the domestic duties of cooking, cleaning and childcare are delegated to females, young girls raised within the environment may grow-up continuing the pattern of 3rd shift work and young boys may grow-up believing that domestic chores are a woman’s obligation. • Encourage male participation in domestic duties, while simultaneously encouraging young girls to participate in lawn care and maintenance.

3. Girls can play too! • Encourage young girls to participate in team-oriented sports that allows the female athlete to compete and develop relationships. • Participation in team sports will increase her self-esteem and drive to succeed, which will carryover into her career. • Later in life if she is excluded from the boardroom, she may find the courage that was instilled from athletics and will demand her seat at the table.

4. Avoid purchasing gender-specific toys • Purchase toys based upon your daughter’s personal interest. Avoid the assumption that because she is a girl she should receive pink, fluffy items; she may not identify with the manufacturer’s image of ideal toys for girls. • Toys marketed to boys encourage: invention, exploration, competition, mobility and problem solving.

5. Self-esteem starts at home • When a young girl witnesses negative body imaging from her mother, she will often grow-up to also have negative body image issues. Encourage your daughter to love and embrace her physical appearance, without falling into the schemes of the fashion and beauty industry to tell her how she should look and feel. • Fathers, it is understandable that you want to treat your little girl like a princess. However, the detrimental message of a Disney princess leads your little girl to believe that she is expected to look pretty in a frilly dress and will have no discernible contribution to society.

6. What the princess culture is teaching your daughter

7. Harmful phrases to avoid that discourage young girls • “You can’t do that, you’re a girl”…actually anything that starts with “you can’t do that…” in relation to your daughter’s future. • “Girls aren’t very good at math (or science)” • “Girls should be polite and quiet, like little ladies” – which sets her up as a ‘pleaser’ later on in life. • “Girls should not get dirty playing outside like a boy.” • “That: toy, clothing, shoes, activity, sports, color…is for boys.” • Appearance based compliments, that are not counter-balanced with compliments about academics and achievements.

8. Parents hold the key • Gender differences in self-perceptions of their abilities may lead females and males to select different educational training programs, and to aspire to different occupations. • If parents’ hold gender-differentiated perceptions of, and expectations for, their children’s competencies in various areas, then through self-fulfilling prophecies, parents could play a critical role in socializing gender differences in children’s self-perceptions, interests, and skill acquisition.

9. Help her achieve her full potential • Boys are rewarded at an early age for: • Being leaders • Taking risks • Being competitive • Girls are taught to be: • Communal • Accommodating • Non-challenging • As a parent of a young girl, it is your responsibility to encourage freedom of choice and expression. In order for your daughter to reach her full potential, parents must assist in breaking down gender barriers that would otherwise impede her academic and career growth.

10. Monitor your child’s media exposure, both quantity and content Miss Representation Extended Trailer

11. In order to achieve it, you need to be able to dream it • The three “P”s of achievement – passion, persistence and practice. • Encourage your daughter to step outside of traditional gender roles filled by women. Let her know that through Passion, Persistence and Practice, any career is achievable.

12. References • Cimpian, A., Mu, Y., & Erickson, L. c. (2012). Who Is Good at This Game? Linking an Activity to a Social Category Undermines Children's Achievement. Psychological Science, 533-541. • Eccles, J. S., Jacobs, J. E., & Harold, R. D. (1990). Gender Role Stereotypes, Expectancy Effects, and Parents' Socialization of Gender Differences. Journal of Social Issues, 183-201. • Ettus, S. (2012, February 2). 5 Ways to Close the "Ambition Gap" for Girls. Retrieved August 3, 2014, from Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/sites/samanthaettus/2012/02/02/sheryl-sandberg/ • LearnVest. (2012, June 28). 7 Ways You're Hurting Your Daughter's Future. Retrieved August 3, 2014, from Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/sites/learnvest/2012/06/28/7-ways-youre-hurting-your-daughters-future/ • Miller, S. A., & Booth Church, E. (2014). Ages & Stages: "I'm a boy & you're a girl!". Retrieved August 6, 2014, from Scholastic: http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/ages-stages-i39m-boy-you39re-girl • Miss Representation. (2011, October 13). Miss Representation Extended Trailer. YouTube video.

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