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How to Graduate

How to Graduate

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How to Graduate

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  1. How to Graduate formerly titled, “Mission Impossible” Immunology Program Stanford University October 2004 Dr. Brian Zabel, PhD

  2. Plan out a theme for your posters/defense. Things to do Immediately! Begin process of changing salutation on everything, especially credit cards. Come up with clever response for, “What’s your specialty?” hint: mention “stem cells” Response for parents/spouse/friends for nagging questions regarding gainful employment after graduation: “We don’t get jobs, we get opportunities.” --Dean Pizzo, Graduation 2004

  3. Time Table January 2003 - Eureka! Main experimental discovery required to graduate. February 2003 - Disaster! Another group will likely publish. February to October 2003 - Scramble! Try to scoop them. October 2003 - Curses! Officially scooped. January 2004 - Cut Losses. Request to graduate in June. February 2004 - Set Defense Date. April 2004 - Write Dissertation.

  4. Time Table April 24th - Dissertation Office review of manuscript. April 25th - Submit nearly complete version of dissertation. First week in May - Prepare Defense Presentation. May 8-10 - Post Posters. May 11th - Thesis Defense and Oral Exam. May 20-25 - Fix Dissertation per Committee’s indications. May 29th - Obtain Signatures/Submit Final Dissertation. June 12th - Graduation.

  5. “…there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know." --Donald H. Rumsfeld --quoted in Chapter 1, p.2 Dissertation Tips Entertain yourself

  6. It has been argued that the “irreducible complexity” and apparent “purposeful design” of the coagulation cascade violates the rules of Darwinian evolution, therefore requiring divine intervention and subsequently proving the existence of God. --Chapter 1, p.10 In particular, I’d like to acknowledge Snowy and Mikey, two of the best guys you’ll ever meet... And I’d like to thank my classmates for their camaraderie: Christine, Big Reem, Nicole, Jeff, Jenny, and Special K. And thank you to Maureen for keeping us all together. --Acknowledgements, p.vii Dissertation Tips Entertain yourself

  7. (not like this, Chapter 1 p.7) Under inflammatory conditions, however, pDC have been reported in a variety of diverse tissue sites often associated with lymphocytic infiltrates, including reactive tonsils , inflamed nasal mucosa , a variety of cutaneous lesions (herpes zoster , skin blisters simulating syphilic infection (triggered by lipopeptide analogues of Treponema pallidum) , psoriasis vulgaris, lupus erythematosus, contact dermatitis, but not atopic dermatitis , melanoma ), ovarian epithelial tumor , cerebral spinal fluid from MS patients or patients with Lyme neuroborreliosis , and synovial fluid from patients with spondyloarthropathy . Dissertation Tips Keep it concise Modify an approved dissertation template (i.e. my MSWord doc) Use styles (headings, body text) and fields (table of contents) Figures: modify in PPT, paste special as picture metafiles Save often/multiple backups Can’t save - copy and paste whole thing into new document

  8. Dissertation Tips Buy “big reems” of acid free paper (OfficeMax) Have your committee members sign multiple (10) copies of certification page (printed on acid free paper) Follow directions carefully/be prepared to write additional abstracts/summaries Minimize typos

  9. Defense Tips 55 slides total, ~40 “science” slides, 1 hr Add some “izzle” Start simple Enjoy the moment! Roast those needing roasting

  10. B. Zabel Thesis Defense Munzer Auditorium Noon “Identification and Characterization of a Novel Leukocyte Chemoattractant and Receptor”

  11. Eugene Butcher, PhD Advisor

  12. “I’m not so bad, once you get to know me.” --Smith

  13. “I’m not so bad, once you get to know me.” --Smith

  14. Acknowledgements My Thesis Advisor, Eugene Butcher


  16. Oral Exam 1 hr of moderate grilling Interspersed were a couple of easy, a couple of difficult, and a couple of “guess what I’m thinking” questions Tested knowledge of relevant/irrelevant literature

  17. Things to Remember Order your hood and gown if attending graduation (hood is royal blue). If you anticipate attending many graduation ceremonies, (or you just want to look bad-ass in the floppy hat) you may want to purchase regalia. Reserve Munzer or other venue as soon as you set a date. Save you receipts for everything, and request reimbursement ($105 binding fee, paper, extra copies of dissertation, etc.) Good Luck!