Bullying & Harassment

1. Bullying & Harassment ENG1P1 Ms. Prince

2. What is It? • In groups of 2, brainstorm a response to the following questions: • What is bullying? • What is harassment? • Is there a difference? If yes, what is it? • Have you ever seen someone being harassed? • Is harassment always physical? • How can you stop a bully? • Discuss your answers • Q. Have you changed your mind? Why or why not?

3. Q. What are some things that you think about when you hear the word harassment? Brainstorm together: • Come up with both positive and negative words • Ex. Rejection, help, defend, gossip • Is harassment/teasing a big deal? • How do people harass each other? • Is there any such thing as a ‘typical’ harasser or bully? • Is there such thing as a ‘typical’ victim or target? • Do boys and girls differ in the way they harass? • How does harassment hurt people? • How can a target or victim stop a harasser? • What should bystanders do? • What should targets and bystanders NOT do?

4. They punch me in the jaw, strangle me, they knock things out of my hand, take things from me, sit on me. They push me so far that I want to become the bully. ~Alex It feels like everybody just turned against me. It was like nine of them, nine or ten of them, calling me stupid and dumb, and they started throwing things at me, and one of the guys said something to me, and he threatened me, telling me what he was going to do to me, and he’ll fight girls, and everybody was laughing. ~Ja’Meya If it involves repeated, malicious attempts to humiliate a helpless victim, if the victim is fearful, does not know how to make it stop, then it’s bullying. ~Kim Zarzour We knew why Tyler did what he did. There was no doubt in our minds. When you’re in the shower and your clothes are taken, and you have no way of getting out of the gym other than walking out naked. When you’re standing in the bathroom urinating, and kids come up and push you from behind up against the stall and against the wall, and you urinate on your pants. When you’re sitting in the classroom and someone grabs your books and throws them on the floor and tells you, “Pick ‘em up bitch,” those are the things that happened to Tyler. ~David Long, Tyler’s father You can always count on something happening when you’re walking down the hall at school, in the classroom, after school when I’m walking home, when I’m walking through the parking lot in the morning to school. I wasn’t welcomed at church. I’m not welcomed in a lot of people’s homes. ~Kelby

5. What is Bullying? • Bullying involves an individual or a group repeatedly harming another person – physically (ex. Punching, pushing), verbally (ex. Teasing, name-calling), or socially (ex. Ostracizing or spreading rumours) • Sometimes these actions are plainly visible, but other times (such as gossip & rumours) are hidden • Bullying behaviour might include assault, tripping, intimidation, rumour spreading and isolation, demands for money, destruction of property, theft of valued possessions, destruction of another’s work and name calling

6. Anything else? • With the invention and growth of the internet, bullies are able to be a bigger presence in the lives of their victims through cyber-bullying. • Researchers define cyber-bullying as “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” • Bullying often does not happen in an isolated context or with a single tormentor and victim. There may be multiple bullies or multiple victims, and there are almost always peers, adults and other community members who know about the bullying taking place.

7. Often, the person targeted is socially vulnerable because they have some characteristic that makes them different from the majority. • A person might be singled out because of their… • Race • Ethnicity • Sexual orientation • Religious beliefs • Physical or learning disabilities • No apparent reason • Regardless of the reason, the person being bullied does not know how or does not have the power to make it stop!

8. Harassment Statistics • Every day 160,000 students skip school for fear of being bullied or harassed • 83% of girls and 79% of boys said that they had been harassed during school time • A majority of middle and high school students feel unsafe at school • Two-thirds of all attackers in school shootings reported they felt bullied, threatened or injured by others • A 2005 Clemson University study reported that one in 5 (20%) middle school students had been cyberbullied in the past month • More students picked teasing and bullying as “big problems” than those who picked drugs, alcohol, racism, AIDS or the pressure to have sex • CNN reported that 4 out of 5 middle school students admit that they act like bullies at least once a month • More than half of students admit to having sexually harassed someone during their school life

9. Types of Harassment • Bigotry: intolerance of other ethnic, racial, culture or religious group • Bullying: any behaviour meant to hurt someone; intentionally and repeatedly using one’s power to hurt others • Cyber-Bullying: using computers, cell phones or other electronic means to harass someone • Gossiping and Spreading Rumours: saying something to damage someone’s reputation

10. Rejection: refusing to acknowledge someone – their presence, their value or their worth • Relational Aggression: acts that harm others through damage to relationships or feelings of acceptance • Sexual Harassment: any behaviour that is uninvited, unwelcome and unwanted and is sexual in nature, such as writing a sexual comment on a bathroom wall or forcibly trying to kiss someone • Teasing: trying to upset others by saying something you know they won’t like

11. Relational Aggression • Includes acts that harm others through damaging a person’s feeling of acceptance, friendship or group inclusion Examples: • Whispering, talking behind someone’s back • Starting nasty rumours • Being nice in public, but mean in private • Ignoring someone to get one’s way or excluding someone socially for revenge • Sabotaging someone else’s relationships, stealing a boyfriend • Writing anonymous notes to a person/about a person • Bumping into a person or knocking books off desk and saying it was an accident

12. Who is usually involved? • Mainly girls. They are more likely to use relationships as a weapon • Girls may stay in an abusive relationship to avoid being alone • It is often not considered socially or culturally acceptable for girls to express their anger physically or in direct confrontation What are the consequences? • Eating disorders • Depression, and even suicide • Teen pregnancy • Grownups who can’t interact with peers in a healthy way • Abusive relationships as adults How to avoid? • Learn to recognize and express it. Relational aggression is usually a response to a perceived insult • Talk out conflicts instead of being mean on the sly

13. Sexual Harassment • Uninvited, unwelcome, unsolicited and unwanted conduct that is sexual in nature Examples: • Making sexual comments or jokes, staring at or following a person around in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable; whistling, making gestures or showing pictures that make a person uncomfortable • Spreading sexual rumours; sending sexual messages via email or text-messaging • Discussing or rating another’s body or body parts • Touching, grabbing or pinching someone in a sexual way • Calling gender-related names like “slut”, “whore”, “ho”, “stud”, “lesbo”, “bitch”, “fag”, etc

14. Did you know that Sexual Harassment… • Can made a person feel angry, afraid, sad, ashamed, embarrassed, degraded, violated, like it’s his/her own fault? • Can have long-lasting effects? The target may become physically ill, do poorly in school or even drop out, doubt his or her own self-worth • Is different from flirting? Flirting feels good, is flattering and both people participate, whereas sexual harassment feels bad, is one-sided and is demeaning What can happen? • Suspended or expelled from school • Charged • Sued in court and be required to pay damages

15. Strategies for Dealing with Sexual Harassment • Know your personal limits – what’s okay and what’s NOT. You have a right to want your personal limits to be respected by others. • Make it clear to the person that the behaviour is unacceptable. Some people will stop at that point. If not, at least you have made your position clear and can consider other actions Suggestions: • “I don’t like to hear sexist jokes. Please don’t tell them around me.” • “I feel uncomfortable when you put your arm around me; please don’t do that.” • “Stop that and don’t do it again.” • “Leave me alone.” • “That’s not okay with me.” • “Don’t touch me. It makes me uncomfortable.” • “What part of NO don’t you understand?” • Talk to your friends, parents, teacher, principal – they can help

16. Cyber-Bullying • Is willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of electronic devices to bully or harass an individual or group through personal attacks or other means. • Note: It may be considered a computer CRIME! Examples include: • Sending mean, embarrassing or degrading messages • Creating websites that ridicule others or post messages about them • Posting pictures online and asking people to rate them with questions such as “Who is the biggest______ (loser, geek, slut)?” • Taking private pictures of someone and sending them to others • Sending or posting online material that threatens or raises concerns about violence against others or oneself.

17. Why can Cyber-bullying be especially damaging? • You often don’t know who the perpetrator is • Cyberbullies may not feel any boundaries to their cruelty because they feel anonymous • The bullying doesn’t go away when school ends. Home isn’t a safe refuge from this kind of harassment. This makes a person feel even more trapped. • You don’t know who knows what about you. In theory, everyone with a computer may know damaging information or believe a hateful rumour. Who are victims of Cyber-bullying? • Most of the online perpetrators and victims are girls • Half of all teens have experienced cyber-bullying, about the same number have been involved in cyber-bullying • 25% of teens have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or computers • 1 in 3 experience cyber-threats

18. If you are the victim of Cyber-Bullying: • Save the evidence (emails, IMs, chats, webpages) • File a complaint with the ISP because this violates terms of use in most cases. The account can be terminated and the material removed. • Tell your school administrators • Tell the bully’s parents • Get a lawyer • Tell police if the person has threatened you, used obscene language or violated your privacy by taking private pictures of you • Try to find out who send the email or posted the material, keeping in mind that cyberbullies often use anonymous screen names or impersonate someone else when harassing others

19. To keep yourself safe: • To be safe, use good netiquette. What you wouldn’t do or say off-line should not be done or said online either! • Do not reveal personal information online • Only send material or pictures over the internet or cell phone that you wouldn’t mind if six billion people saw. You never know what may fall into the wrong hands or if the person you are sending it to will still be your boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend in the future • Do not let anyone know your passwords. Choose passwords that cannot be guessed easily.