Marriage God’s Way?

1. Just this past week, a check-out lady struck up a conversation with me regarding marriage & divorce rates- and “no” I don’t remember exactly how that conversation started! When I told her Donna and I had dated every week except two for two years, and then were married nearly twenty-four years ago, she was truly moved. Why? Because as she said, “That almost never happens anymore!” But again, why? Could it be because so few truly are taught or understand…. Marriage God’s Way?

2. Divorce Rates • You may be surprised to learn that as late as 2005, U.S. divorce rates were actually at their lowest point in recent history- at least since 1970. • Though “the numbers” can be skewed or parsed every which way, generally, the divorce rate is somewhere between 40 and 50 percent that of marriage. • Perhaps even more troubling, is the oft touted slogan, “The family that prays together, stays together” seems to no longer be true- if it really ever was. The divorces rates for U.S. “Christians” are only slightly better than those of the general population- and in some regions they may actually be worse! What gives????

3. Explaining the Numbers First, divorce rates hit their all-time high in this country in 1981. But the decline in rates is somewhat misleading, because: • Most young American adults live together, either for a period of time, or indefinitely, without the benefit of marriage. • Even among those who do marry, most no longer their “first marriage” to be their “last marriage”. • Further, many older adults, either divorced (perhaps multiple times) or widowed, now often live together without marriage to prevent reduction in government benefits. The bottom line to the reduced divorce rate is not more successful marriages, it’s fewer marriages!

4. “But among those who do get married, why are divorce rates so high?” Whether “Christians” or “Non-Believers,” the causesfor high divorce rates are much the same: Failure to understand the true concept of marriage. This is as it relates to marriage’s: • Origin • Purpose • Obligations • and Seriousness. While we will not cover all of these in this lesson, we will try to address them all over the next few lessons in order to do our part to combat and correct the plague of divorce and enable the true joys of marriage!

5. Our concept of marriage’s Origin is critical. If we believe marriage is an invention of man, then we are therefore at liberty to engage in, edit, or eliminate it as we see fit! But marriage is not of human origin! Gen.2:18ff teaches that it was created for, not of, man. Neither is marriage constituted of simple cohabitation. “Living together” does not establish a marriage- it establishes either fornication or adultery, 1Cor.6:9-10. Cohabitation and the sexual union of man and woman are the rights and privileges of the marriage contract, not the criteria which establish it!

6. Our concept of marriage’s Origin is critical. Some claim marriage’s origin is simply a “societal legitimization of the sexual union.” They claim that even some remotely isolated cultures who have no direct knowledge of “God” still practice a form of marriage as a societal legitimization of sex. But again, the Bible clearly states that man is not the originator of marriage, Matt.19:4-6!

7. Our concept of marriage’s Purpose is also critical to our understanding and practice. Actually, originand purposeare closely linked- if we think that we invented marriage, then we likewise design it to fit our concepts of its’ purpose. But, if we accept that a God (as a Benevolent Dictator) is the originator of marriage, then we must also accept that the institution must be practiced according to His purposesto achieve the ultimate benefit. Therefore, God Himself created and regulates marriage. We, in turn, are answerable to Him for our understanding and application of it, Gen.2:7,15-17, 18-25. We therefore, are not at liberty to alter its’ terms or precepts. Instead, we must accept them as He determines, or abstain from the union.

8. So what are God’s Purposes for marriage? As a Benevolent Dictator, God’s purposes for marriage are primarily these: Human Happiness. Some seem to feel that “marriage complicates the relationship.” This is no more than a selfish and shallow attempt to use personal freedom and convenience to avoid true commitment and obligation. To the contrary, marriage is intended to be the true height of human happiness here, Gen.2:18,20 > 22,24. It is the chosen symbol to illustrate the relationship of Christ and the church! Eph.5:22-33; 2Cor.11:2.

9. So what are God’s Purposes for marriage? As a Benevolent Dictator, God’s purposes for marriage are primarily these: Human Happiness. Marriage is, therefore, to fulfill God’s purposes for us in: • Companionship- it is the closest and most intimate of all human relationships. • Sexual Union- this is the God given proper expression of ultimate sharing, Heb.13:4; 1Cor.7:1-6. • Procreation, Gen.1:28; Psalm127:3-5.

10. Conclusion (for now at least) Certainly this is not all there is to marriage nor have even the points addressed been completely covered. Thus far, we have looked only at the Origin and Purpose of marriage. In the next lesson, the Duties and Obligations as well as Terms of the Contract will be discussed. Let me however close by including a more complete definition of God’s Marriage: Marriage is an institution of Divine Arrangement given in wisdom and mercy to increase Human Happiness in which a man and a woman Agree to live together as husband and wife, each faithfully fulfilling the Duties and Obligations and enjoying the Benefits of the union (or contract) till Death parts them.